


Lies

by loving1dwp



Series: Words [1]
Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Cutting, Foster home, M/M, Self-Harm, depressed!louis, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-14
Updated: 2013-08-05
Packaged: 2017-12-14 22:56:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 60,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/842319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loving1dwp/pseuds/loving1dwp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>BOOK 1</p><p>What can you do when your foster parents have been abusing you your whole life. Threatning that if you tell anyone they'll kill you. What can you do, but act as if nothing's wrong. Louis Tomlinson goes through this everyday and decided years ago that if he pushes everyone away no one can hurt him, but what happens when he's paired with the new kid, Harry Styles, for a science project? Can Harry figure out a way to help Louis or will Louis continue to reject Harry like he does to everyone else in his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

I learned a long time ago that you can't trust anyone. I live by my life motto.

"Trust No One"

It's gotten me through these last few years, but I'm about to hit my breaking point.

I'm only seventeen so I can't move away from my abusive foster parents, but the day I turn eighteen I'm running for the door.

I just like to be by myself, and not bother anyone. I'm worthless really. I don't talk much, but I can fight if provoked. I'm a really good fighter; I even fought my foster dad once. He broke my arm.

Oh well. There's nothing I can do now except wait. Only one more year, Louis. I keep telling myself that, but it just doesn’t help all that much.

I've been to about six different schools since living here in London. The school I'm at now is actually kind of nice. No one bothers me, and I don't bother anyone.

It's just the way it should be. Well it was, until Harry Styles came along and changed everything.

My Name is Louis Tomlinson, and this is my story.


	2. Chapter 1

Louis's POV

 

"Louis get up!" I heard the familiar banging on my door and pushed the pillow over my ears to block out the noise. The next thing I knew, something cold and wet was being poured over me, and I jumped to my feet in shock.

 

"What the fuck!" I threw up my arms.

 

I screamed at my foster dad Mr. Smith, as I saw an empty bucket in his hand dripping with water.

 

"It's the first day of school, now get dressed and get your arse back downstairs quickly or there will be consequences!" He snarled.

 

He shoved me backwards on the bed and left. Man I hate that guy. Just a few more months Louis. I tell myself this frequently, but since today is already going horribly it doesn’t help much.

 

Usually telling myself that would calm me somewhat, but I'm extremely tense because I have to go back to school now and actually interact with people. I shuddered at the thought.

 

I walked over to my dresser to find something to wear. I decided on a pair of skinny jeans and a black long sleeve shirt that was sort of tight. Then I looked at my reflection in the mirror, wincing as I saw the bruises on my face. I quickly grabbed the makeup from the drawer and started dabbing it on them, trying to hide them.

 

Okay so it's not the manliest thing to do, but I didn't want people asking questions about my cuts and bruises, so I kept putting on the concealer. It works most of the time, but some bruises are just really bad and covering them up isn't possible.

 

When I was finished you could only see the one that I had gotten last night for talking back. It was dark purple and right under my bright blue eyes. Great.

 

I ran a comb through my messy brown hair and ran downstairs to the table. I grabbed a bowl of cereal and started shoving it into my mouth as fast as I could. The quicker I get out of here, the better. Just then a hand grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me up from my chair.

 

"Listen you twat! If you even think of telling anyone about your home life, I'll shoot you dead and bury you in the backyard! Understand!" Mr. Smith yelled in my face.

 

I heard Mrs. Smith's icy cold laugh in the background and I swallowed hard answering the way I knew how to.

 

"Yes sir." I whimpered.

 

He threw me on the ground and I stood up to finish my breakfast without another word. I wouldn't be so scared of his threats, but I had seen him do things like that to a kid that had lived here once.

 

I felt bad, because I had to sit there and watch. It was my fault. That's what Mr. Smith said. I had disobeyed and now I was being punished. He had me tied to a chair, so I had to watch as he cut little Johnny in various places and even though Johnny screamed, Mr. Smith wouldn't stop. Then he proceeded to beat Johnny until he was unconscious.

 

I was only fourteen at the time and I had cried so hard when Johnny went to the hospital and never came back. I never found out what happened to him. I don't know if he was relocated or if...

 

I shook my head. No it's not the time to think about these awful things. Not now.

 

I looked around the table at the other kids who had their heads down in their bowls, eating quickly and avoiding eye contact with the Smiths. Something I taught every new kid to do when they came into this house. I kept them safe for the most part, which is how I ended up with most of my injuries. I protected them, and they did what I told them to. I was the oldest here so I felt like it was my duty. This particular group of kids were only here temporarily and would be leaving within the next few days.

 

I sighed and stood up to start the long walk to school. It was a good thirty minutes on foot, but I didn't mind. I hated being in that house and I would do anything to get away from it, away from them.

 

As I reached the front doors of the school I went inside and pulled out my schedule, glancing over it. Science first, I hate science. Then again, I seem to hate a lot of things lately.

 

I found my locker and shoved my things into it, then I grabbed my science book, binder, and some pencils, and headed for the science lab.

 

It was nearly full, as the bell was about to ring so I took a seat in the back of the class per usual. I always sit in the back. Everyone knows that now, and no one questions it, for that I am grateful. The bell rang and a man with jet black hair and cold unforgiving grey eyes walked in and shut the door.

 

"Good morning class. I'm Mr. Turner, and I'll be your science teacher this year." He wrote his name on the board and turned back to us with a fake smile plastered on his face.

 

"Okay your first assignment today is going to be to read Chapter 1 and do the section’s review with a partner."

 

The door opened and an office lady stuck her head in.

 

"I have a new student for you sir. He got a bit lost on his way here." She smiled.

 

I looked up from where I was spinning my pencil around on my desk to see this new student. It's not that I cared who it was, but it's not every day we got a new student at Doncaster High School. I live in a small, boring town so if something even remotely interesting happens everyone goes nuts! Me on the other hand, I don't get excited over many things.

 

"Well bring him in." The teacher motioned for her to come in, so she did, and behind her followed a tall, thin boy who looked slightly amused for some reason.

 

"Everyone this is Harry. He just moved here from Holmes Chapel and I want you all to make him feel welcome." She smiled and left. He just stood there awkwardly and looked around at all of us.

 

I'll admit it, I like his hair. It was a light brown and full of curls, they even looked kind of soft. He had green eyes the color of emeralds and he was wearing a tight white shirt that showed off his toned biceps. He had on black skinny jeans and white converse which suited him well.

 

"Please take a seat Mr. Styles. I believe the only available one is back there by Mr. Tomlinson." He pointed to me and I flinched as I realized that meant we would have to be partners. I usually worked alone, so much for that idea.

 

Harry nodded and walked back towards me. He sat down in the chair and smiled at me, but I just went back to tapping out a beat with my pencil, not really paying attention to what Mr. Turner was saying.

 

Mr. Turner went on to explain our assignment and assigned partners. Of course Harry was paired with me, and I think I may even have seen a smirk on his full pink lips, but maybe I just imagined it, probably.

 

"Alright you may get started!" Mr. Turner sat down at his desk and I opened my textbook to start reading the chapter when I felt someone tap my shoulder.

 

I ignored it, but then he tapped me again. I turned to face Harry who looked as if he had scooted closer. I slowly slid over so that he wouldn't notice. I wasn't always such a hateful, rude person, but things change. People change.

 

"Can I help you with something?" I snapped.

 

"Just wanted to say hi." He looked hurt, but I really was not in the mood for talking, especially with someone I just met, so I just glared at him.

 

"Hi." I turned back to my textbook to finish reading.

 

I thought I heard him mutter something, but I ignored it and finished the chapter. I finished before him and when I pulled out a sheet of paper I watched as he ran his finger across the page with his eyebrows furrowed. Then he rubbed his face with his hands, while groaning quietly.

 

I raised an eyebrow when he looked at me, but he just smiled and went back to concentrating on the page. I started the assignment and before I knew it the bell was ringing. I glanced over at Harry and realized he was still reading. I nudged him with my elbow and he looked up.

 

"Please turn in your assignments before you leave." Mr. Turner took a sip of his coffee and collected the papers.

 

I noticed that Harry waited until last and then he stopped to talk to the teacher. I just rolled my eyes and walked to my next class. Just because he's good looking doesn't mean he can get out of work. Wait? Good looking? Where did that come from?

 

Luckily no one sat by me in math class, so I was at least able to relax a little as I listened to the lesson. I'm no good in math so I really have to pay attention, not that my foster parents care about my grades or anything. I care though, I think I want to become some sort of teacher, I love kids.

 

I went through my next two classes and then headed to lunch. I had just sat down at a lunch table by myself when he came over. Harry smiled and sat across from me. I glared at him, but he acted like he didn't see it.

 

"Aren't you going to eat lunch?" He took a bite of the mashed potatoes, and chewed them slowly.

 

"No. I'm not." I said bitterly.

 

"Well why not?"

 

Couldn't the kid see I wanted to be alone? Apparently not.

 

"That's none of your business!" I plugged in my ear phones and cranked up my music for the rest of lunch, ignoring him.

 

He sat there and ate his lunch quietly, while I laid my head down and took a short nap. Unfortunately it ended up where Harry was in my next two classes, and he decided to sit by me again in both of them.

 

Why won't he just leave me alone?

 

He only spoke to me once more after lunch and that was to ask for a pencil, but even if I did have one I wouldn't have given it to him.

 

When I got home I was relieved to find out that my foster parents were out somewhere. They were Probably at an interview for a new kid. I always felt bad for the newbies. I had seen so many come and go through the years. I have been living here for five years. Well, you could barely call it living. I'm just kind of here. Floating around doing only what was necessary to survive.

 

I usually stayed in my room by myself, and didn't bother anybody, except when the people from the foster care agency came. Then I was forced to come out of my room and act 'right'. I was supposed to tell them how much fun I was having, and if I didn't I was punished. That was my first lesson I learned here, that same lesson ended with me having a broken arm.

 

Other than school and work I didn't go anywhere. I didn't have anywhere to go. My parents were both dead. If I had somewhere to go I would have gone a long time ago.

****

"Pain doesn’t hurt when it’s all you’ve ever felt."


	3. Chapter 2

I walked into school and saw only a few people. I had gotten into a fight with Mr. Smith this morning and was scared he would do something horrible to me so I skipped breakfast and snuck out the window, then went straight to school. I reached the science lab and walked inside. I was surprised to see Harry and Mr. Turner arguing about something.

 

Harry was almost yelling and Mr. Turner looked frustrated with him.

 

Not wanting to eavesdrop, I knocked softly on the open door to let them know I was there. Mr. Turner looked at me and smiled before turning to write our assignment on the board.

 

Harry walked back to his seat and I followed. We both sat in silence while the class filled with students and the bell rang. I sort of wanted to know what they were talking about, but by the look on Harry's face and the way he kept nervously playing with the hem of his shirt, I could tell he didn't want to talk about it so I let it go.

 

"Okay class, today you'll be picking partners to do your first quarter science project with."

 

I saw multiple kids look at their friends and wink, wave, or mouth something to them. I sat still and so did Harry. Neither of us really liked anyone in the class. I didn't like anyone in the school for that matter.

 

"So go ahead and find your partners and sit by them. You have five minutes. Go."

 

Everyone jumped up and ran to their friends. A couple exchanging nervous glances as they scrambled across the room to their second choices.

 

"Hey, uhh do you want to be partners." Harry looked down at his hands and played with his thumbs.

 

Better him, than someone else right?

 

"Uhh yeah sure." I scratched the back of my head.

 

What's the worst that could happen? We sat there awkwardly while everyone found their partners and got settled.

 

Mr. Turner explained that we were to research an animal, do a report on it, and create a life size model.

 

"Let's do a mouse." Harry whispered.

 

I actually laughed a little. He's got a good sense of humor.

 

"Or a flea." I whispered back.

 

Harry snorted and Mr. Turner looked back at us.

 

"Mr. Tomlinson, Mr. Styles. Would you mind telling us what is so funny?"

 

I tensed when he said my name. I hated being called out, almost as much as I hated public speaking. I just don't like being the center of attention. I unconsciously tugged down my sleeves.

 

"Sorry sir." Harry muttered. I was glad he replied, because I don't think I could have.

 

"Okay class I will give you the last twenty minutes of this period to discuss ideas for your project quietly." Mr. Turner walked to his desk and sat down, picking up a magazine.

 

"So what animal do you want to do?" Harry smiled.

 

I thought for a moment.

 

"How about a frog?" I laughed.

 

"I like the way you think." He winked.

 

"But seriously I think we should do a wolf. They're pretty cool."

 

I have had this weird liking for wolves ever since my parents died. In a way I'm like a wolf. I read this book once called "The Lone Wolf" It was about a little wolf pup who parents were separated from him, and he was all alone. It was exactly how I felt.

 

"Yeah okay we'll do a wolf. Umm... where do you want to work on it? We can work at your house or-"

 

"No." I cut him off. There is no way in hell we are working on this at that house. I won't even call it my house, because it's not.

 

"Okay. We can work at my place I guess." He gave me a confused look, but didn't ask any questions.

 

"Yeah okay, but I have work every day except Wednesdays." I was glad I had today off. I was going to go home and sleep.

 

"Okay. We can start next week I guess." He shrugged.

 

"I can bring my laptop to work and we can work on the report during my break if you want."

 

"Yeah that sounds good." He nodded.

 

For the rest of the period we discussed our ideas and times and dates we could work on it. The bell rang and I grudgingly went to math.

 

I was listening intently as the teacher explained our math lesson when someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around and faced Eleanor, a pretty brunette with hazel eyes. I recognized her as the girl Harry had been glaring at in the coffee shop the other day.

 

"What?"

 

"So you and that Styles kid huh?"

 

"What are you talking about?" I folded my arms over my chest.

 

"Oh don't play dumb with me." She smirked

 

"I really have no idea what you're talking about." I rolled my eyes.

 

"He's gay." My eyes widened and my mouth fell open.

 

"W-What? No. You're lying." I stuttered

 

"Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you." She crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair, smirking.

 

"Whatever." I turned around and listened to what the teacher was saying, but I couldn't really pay attention anymore.

 

All I could think about was what Eleanor said. Was he really gay? This could make things so much more complicated.

 

When I got to lunch Harry sat down next to me and pushed his plate towards me.

 

"I heard your stomach growling during science." He stated.

 

I reached forward and took his roll, taking a big bite. If I hadn't skipped breakfast I would have refused, but I was starving. He smiled happily and started eating the rest of his lunch. I started thinking about what Eleanor told me, and I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask. Besides, if he doesn’t want me to know he could just deny it.

 

"H-Harry?" Why am I so nervous?

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Can I ask you a question? It's kind of personal."

 

"Yeah I guess so?" He looked up at me with a little bit of a worried expression.

 

"Are you g-gay?" I stuttered.

 

His face turned scarlet red and he looked down at his lap.

 

"Yes." He said quietly.

 

"Oh." I took another bite of my roll.

 

"I'm just going to go to the loo-" I stopped him before he could finish.

 

"Harry I don't care if you're gay I just wanted to know if you really were." I shrugged.

 

He sat back down and looked me in the eyes. I could see how uncomfortable he was, and I was surprised I wasn't uncomfortable. I was kind of glad he told me the truth, and besides, just because he was gay didn't mean anything had changed.

 

"Really?" He met my eyes.

 

"Yeah?" I raised an eyebrow.

 

He smiled and started eating again. Well that was awkward, and why was he so happy that I didn't care that he's gay? Oh well, it's none of my business anyways.

 

The rest of the day dragged by and by the time I got home with Darcy I fell onto the bed and fell right asleep.

 

When I woke up Mr. Smith had gotten home and he had Darcy in the den with him. They were watching some horror movie. She was shaking and I could see tear tracks coming from her green eyes.

 

"Can I please go to bed now?" She begged.

 

"No! Shut up and watch the movie!" She started crying again and put her hands over her ears as some guy on the T.V. was stabbed. It was horrific really. That's another thing I hate, horror movies.

 

"Just let her go to bed." I walked in front of Mr. Smith and put my hands on my hips showing off my sassy side.

 

"Don't tell me what to do boy!" He stood up so that he was taller than me. His brown eyes bored into mine, while his thick, greasy hair fell in front of his face.

 

"Darcy go to our room." I turned back to Mr. Smith and before I knew it his fist connected with my face.

 

"Shit!" I doubled over and held my throbbing eye.

 

"Worthless." He muttered before walking back to his room.

 

He hardly ever called me by my name. I was just boy, worthless, Tomlinson, or you.

 

I grabbed an ice pack from the fridge and walked back to my room, then laid on my pallet to fall into a dreamless sleep.

 

****

 

I stomped into class angrily. I had run out of concealer so you could clearly see my black eye and the faint outline of the scar under my chin from where I ran away. Mr. Smith cut me with a knife when he found me and dragged me back to the house holding the knife to my throat.

 

I sat down and when Harry came in I turned my head so that he wouldn't see my eye. I didn't need him asking questions.

 

"Hey!" He smiled.

 

"Hey."

 

I made it through half of the class without having to turn my head once, but then we were told we were going outside, so everyone saw my eye, including Harry.

 

"Oh my gosh! What happened Louis?"

 

"It's none of your business!" I snapped.

 

"Louis tell me." He sounded slightly hurt by my harshness.

 

"It doesn't matter."

 

He looked at me with pleading eyes, so I turned my head. He put a hand on my shoulder, and I tensed and stepped away from him. I didn't mean to do it, but I'm so used to people hitting me that every time someone touches me I expect pain.

 

"Louis." He mouthed.

 

I shook my head and took another step back.

 

I didn't talk to Harry for the rest of the day, even when he sat by me at lunch. He sat quietly beside me in our last two classes, and I was glad he didn't talk to me, because I might have screamed at him for being so nosy. I think he picked up on the fact that I didn't want to talk about it.

 

When I got home I locked myself in the bathroom and looked for my razor blade. I found it and stood over the sink. I placed it on my wrist under the first cut and applied pressure. I sighed as blood trickled down my hand and splattered in the sink. All of the stress went away with my blood, and I felt a little better. I washed off the blood and put a bandage over it so it wouldn't get infected. That was the last thing I needed.

 

When I walked back into my room I got ready for work. I shoved my laptop in my bag and walked out the door with my bag slung over my shoulder.

 

Harry arrived about five minutes before my break so he ordered us both coffee and we went to sit down to work on our project. I had a feeling this was going to be a daily routine now, or at least until this project was done. Then I could go back to always being alone, the way I liked it.

 

We did some of the research and took notes, but I had to go back to work soon. Harry said he didn't have to be home for another two hours so he researched some more stuff and kept himself busy by playing games on his laptop.

 

It was cold outside and I had forgotten my jacket at home so I rubbed my hands together to create warmth. As I was walking down the street he pulled up beside me in a black sports car.

 

"Want a ride?"

 

"I'll walk; it's not very far anyways." I shivered.

 

He stopped and leaned his head out the window.

 

"Get in."

 

I sighed and walked over to the passenger side and climbed in. He started forward and I shivered again as the cold air hit my face. It was the end of August, but yet it was freezing at night. Doncaster has always had weird weather.

 

He reached in the back and threw something into my lap.

 

"Put that on."

 

I looked down at the purple Jack Wills hoodie. I shivered again and decided I might as well put it on. I slid it over my head and put my arms through the sleeves. It smelled like Harry. Like a mix of cologne and mint. It smelled good, and even though it was a little big on me it was really comfortable.

 

"Thanks." I turned to stare out the window.

 

"No problem." He glanced over at me and smiled. "So uhh you wanna tell me where you live?" He laughed.

 

"Oh yeah, sorry. It's just down this road and to the right then a left."

 

He turned on the radio and my favorite song was on. I smiled and sang along quietly.

 

"There now steady love

 

So few come and don't go

 

Will you won't you

 

Be the one I'll always know

 

When I'm losing my control

 

The city spins around

 

You’re the only one who knows

 

You slow it down."

 

I continued singing along and soon Harry joined me. When the song ended we looked at each other and he smiled at me.

 

"Thanks Louis."

 

"For what?" I raised an eyebrow now thoroughly confused.

 

"For not running away when you found out I was gay."

 

I smiled at him and pointed to my house. "It's that one."

 

He pulled into my driveway and I got out.

 

"Thanks for the ride." I closed the door and walked into my house.

 

That night all I could think about was Harry.


	4. Chapter 3

I sat up from my pallet on the floor and rubbed my sore back. It was probably sore from sleeping on the floor for a week now. It was highly uncomfortable, but it’s not like I wanted Darcy to sleep on the floor.

I woke Darcy up and went to get ready for school. Thank God it's Friday, I was ready for the week to be over.

I combed my hair and got dressed. I made sure to get Harry's hoodie, I had forgotten to give it back last night, and I put it on so that I wouldn't forget it. I almost didn't want to give it back. It was just so comfy. There was no point in putting on concealer, because everyone had seen my eye by now so I finished fairly quickly.

Darcy and I walked together until she reached her school, and then I continued walking. I heard a familiar sounding car, and turned around to see Harry pulling up beside me.

"Get in loser we're going shopping." He leaned his head out the window and laughed.

I opened the door and climbed inside, raising an eyebrow.

"Did you really just quote Mean Girls?" I scoffed playfully.

"Yes, I really did." He smiled proudly.

I laughed and he turned up the radio.

"Nice jumper." He smirked.

"Oh! I was going to give it back to you." I reached down to pull it off, but he stopped me.

"You can keep it. It looks better on you anyways." I blushed and mumbled a ‘thanks’.

I wonder if he really meant that. I was just glad he let me keep it.

He pulled into the school parking lot and we got out of the car. Quite a few students gave us funny looks. One decided she would say something.

"Louis and Harry sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G" The group of girls with her started giggling and I blushed furiously.

"Shut up Eleanor!" Harry snapped. I cringed at the harshness in his voice.

"Oh he's feisty too. You and Louis really are perfect for each other then." She smirked.

Harry clenched his fists and I tried to walk away, but my feet suddenly felt like they were made of lead. I couldn’t bear to even look at Harry.

"How do your foster parents feel about you having a boyfriend Louis?" Eleanor laughed evilly.

My heart literally stopped for a split second. How did she know that? I could do nothing but gape at her as Harry looked back at me and raised an eyebrow. I didn’t tell anyone that, so how did she know? I wanted to scream in frustration, to run, but yet again I stood frozen in place

"H-He's not my b-boyfriend." I hadn't realized I was shaking.

"They probably don't even care about you. Your parents obviously didn't, that's why they gave you away isn't it." Her words were like a slap in the face.

"Eleanor!" Harry walked forward and slammed her against the nearest wall harshly. "Say another word and I will make sure your life is a living hell!" He shouted in her face angrily.

He shoved her again, and my knees went weak as I fell to the ground with tears in my eyes. He looked just like Mr. Smith when he did that, and it scared me more than anything. I had just started getting along with Harry; I had just started believing that not everyone was like Mr. Smith. I guess I was wrong.

Eleanor and her friends ran inside as the bell rang, and Harry ran over to me, dropping to his knees beside me.

"Louis are you o-"

"Get away from me!" I screamed, pushing him away.

"Louis I-"

"No! Don't!" I stood up and ran.

I didn't know where I was going; I just knew I needed to get away from there. I couldn't be around Harry, not after what just happened. It felt like everything just came crashing down on me, like everything had changed so suddenly.

I thought he was different. I never thought he'd do something like that, but I should have known nothing good would ever happen to me. I’d always had the worst luck, so why would something finally good happen to me. Whenever something great happens it’s usually snatched away in the blink of the eye.

I know Harry was just trying to stand up for me, but he was ruining everything. No one was supposed to know I live with foster parents. Now the whole school was going to know. It may not be entirely his fault, but just need somebody to blame, and he’s the only face I could picture right then.

"Louis, wait!" I heard footsteps behind me, so I ran faster.

I could feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead, but I kept running. When my feet felt like they were on fire and my lungs felt like they were collapsing I finally stopped. I doubled over and started panting, trying to catch my breath.

"Louis, I-" Harry came up beside me clutching his side.

"Please leave me alone." I whined.

"I'm sorry for whatever that was, but why are you mad at me? What have I done?"

I didn't exactly know how to answer that question. I couldn't just tell him how he looked like my abusive foster dad. That would go wonderful. Note the sarcasm there.

"You, I don't know..." I trailed off, my breathing returning to normal. "No one was supposed to know." I whispered.

A tear ran down my cheek as I straightened up. Harry reached out to wipe it away, but on instinct I brought up my arm to protect my face. I silently cursed myself at my stupidity, now he would definitely know something was up.

"No one was supposed to know what?" He whispered back gently.

"That I live with a foster family!" I threw my hands in the air.

"Louis it's not that bad."

My blood boiled, I was so angry. Who knew so few words could make me so mad. Not that bad. I was shaking with anger when I rounded on Harry.

"You don't even know the half of it!" I shouted in his face.

"I live with a foster family to." He said calmly.

"What?" I breathed.

"That's why I got so mad when she said something to you about it." He looked down at his feet. "Sorry." He mumbled.

I was speechless at that point. He had been standing up for me and himself. He was trying to help me, and I had run away screaming at him to go away. I’m such a prick.

I just stared at him until he met my eyes again.

"Louis, can I ask you something?" I nodded my head slowly and he continued.

"Well, you don't really talk to anyone, you always seem mad, you have these cuts and bruises on your face, and you freak out when I try to touch you. Why?" He furrowed his eyebrows, and looked genuinely worried.

I knew right then it was time to walk away, so I did. I couldn't have him prying in my life. That just wasn't going to cut it. I needed to get away from him before it was to late.

"Louis? Where are you going?" His voice was soft, but it sent chills down my spine.

‘Mum? Where are you going?’

Those were the same words I had uttered to my mum eleven years ago. Those were the last words I ever said to her. I should have said I love you, but instead I just nodded my head as she said she was going to the store. She never came back.

I closed my eyes to stop the tears. I walked all the way back to the house and left Harry standing there. At least he had enough sense to let me go and not chase after me again. I assume he went home after I left, but I'm not quite sure.

He was getting too close to me. If I spend much more time with him he'll figure out something, and then he'll hate me. That's what always happens. People say they'll be my friend no matter what, but it's all lies. I've been lied to my whole life. It's nothing different than what I'm used to, but it still hurts every single time. Like a new wound on top of all the other ones, kind of like on my wrists.

I just need to distance myself from Harry. Yeah. Distance is good.

I reached my bed and flopped on it, face down. I don't know how long I lay like that, just thinking about what I was going to do.

As soon as this project was done I could avoid Harry. Until then I was just going to suck it up, and only speak to him when necessary.

****

I woke up to my phone ringing and reached blindly for it. Why was someone calling me this early on a Saturday? It should be a crime or something.

"Hello?" I answered groggily.

"Hey, I was thinking we could work on the project today."

"Harry?"

"Who else would it be?" I heard him chuckle lightly.

"Umm I think I'm busy today." I lied.

Remember, distance. I mentally reminded myself.

"Louis, you and I both no you have no plans what so ever." He stated in a smart tone.

I sighed and looked at the clock. 7:49. He was right of course, but I didn't want to admit it, so I changed the subject trying to stall him a bit.

"You sure are an early bird aren't you?" I laughed.

"Yep. I'll be over in an hour to get you."

"I can walk." I stated.

"No. I'm coming to get you and that's final." I could practically feel him smirking.

"Okay fine, but meet me at the end of the street."

"Okay!"

"Bye."

I hung up the phone before he could reply. So much for distancing yourself.

There was no way in hell I was going to take the chance of Mr. Smith meeting Harry. He was supposed to be leaving for the weekend anyways, but I wasn’t taking any chances. He might scare Harry away, but then again why do I care?

Wait. Why do I care?

I mentally slapped myself. Maybe it's because he's the only one who's ever been kind to you and didn't pressure you into things. Sometimes I really hate that little voice in my head.

I stood up and stretched my arms above my head. Maybe we could finish the project today and be done with it. Than I could just ignore Harry like I planned.

I smiled at the thought and went to my dresser to find something to wear. I decided on a striped shirt, jeans, and white toms. I put it all on and went into the bathroom to fix my hair and wash my face. The bruise was still purple, but it had faded a little. I had bags under my eyes, seeing as I hadn't slept well, and being woken up at eight in the morning didn't help much either.

I woke up Darcy and told her where I was going. The Smiths were supposed to be leaving in a few hours for the weekend, so I knew she would be fine by herself.

And if she needed me she could always call my cell phone with the house phone. If the Smiths were there we weren't allowed to touch it, and if they were gone we were only allowed to use it for emergencies, but I never followed that rule. Most of the time I ordered pizza with it.

I said goodbye to her and headed to the end of my street where Harry was waiting in his car. He was reading something, but when I tapped on the window he shoved it in his pocket.

"Morning sunshine." He chuckled.

I grumbled and he started forward.

"I take it you're not a morning person." He smirked at me.

"How'd you know?" I replied bitterly.

"Alright cranky pants did you remember your laptop?"

"Yes." I held up my bag.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the seat. Harry stayed quiet and I was almost asleep when he called my name.

"We're here." I opened my eyes and was shocked by what I saw.


	5. Chapter 4

"Err... Louis?" Harry raised an eyebrow.

 

I closed my mouth and stared in disbelief at the house in front of me. It was like something out of movie.

 

In front of me was a big two-story white house, with a matching white picket fence surrounding the backyard. Flowers were covering a large flowerbed around the porch, and there were two guys, who looked to be about our age, kicking around a football in the yard.

 

"Come on, I'll introduce you." Harry got out of the car and I followed him to the two boys, who had stopped playing and were staring at us.

 

"Zayn, Liam, this is Louis." Harry gestured towards me.

 

"Hi, Louis." The one with brown hair, and doe eyes held out his hand to me, but abruptly dropped it, frowning at something behind me.

 

I turned around to see Harry smiling sweetly at me. I wondered what he had said to Liam to make him put his hand down, but if it got me out of having to shake his hand I don't really care. I don' like touching people. Harry is the only exception, and that is only sometimes.

 

"Vas Happening?" A boy with dark quiffed hair and tan skin slung his arm around Liam's shoulders, grinning at me.

 

"Ignore Zayn, he's weird." Harry laughed, moving towards the front door.

 

I smiled at Zayn, and ran up beside Harry, who chuckled at me. He opened the big, black door and my suspicions were confirmed.

 

Harry's foster parents were rich and it was obvious. There was a white couch against the wall, across from a large flat-screen TV mounted above a fireplace. To the right of the couch were two leather recliners, and a glass coffee table sat in the middle on a furry white rug. The floors were a dark brown wood, and everything looked extremely expensive.

 

I followed Harry through the house until we reached a set of steps. He glanced back at me before staring up them, I followed.

 

His room was like any teenage guy's room. A bed, dresser, desk, TV, and there was even a bathroom connected to it. There were few posters on his wall, including one of a little kitten hanging on a branch, with the words 'Hang in There' written at the bottom. (Picture on the side) There was also a poster for a band called The Ramones.

 

"Who are they?" I pointed to the poster.

 

Harry gasped and put a hand over his heart as if I had just offended him somehow. I set my bag down on the floor and sat myself down on a green bean bag in the corner of his room.

 

"Oh my gosh, I have to play one of their songs for you now."

 

Harry rushed over to his desk and turned on his I-Pod dock, scrolling through his songs. He clicked play and music filled the room.

 

While the song was playing Harry told me all about the band, and their music. I smiled listening to his deep, slow voice explaining everything.

 

"I liked it." I said happily when the song ended.

 

"Duh! You can't not like The Ramones!" Harry laughed as he shut off his I-Pod.

 

I smiled and stared out the window above Harry's bed, getting lost in my thoughts.

 

Harry has such a perfect life. Why can't my life be like this? He has plenty of money, foster parents who care about him, a house that doesn't hold bad memories, and from the looks of things, he gets whatever he wants. I wish I had his life.

 

"Louis!" I jumped when I realized Harry was standing right in front of me.

 

"Huh? Oh, sorry." I stood up quickly.

 

"My foster parents are home, I want you to meet them." Harry smiled at me, holding out his hand to help me up.

 

I took his hand, but it felt weird. My hand had this weird burning sensation when he tightened his grip and pulled me up. I let go quickly when I stood up so it would go away. I think I might've seen hurt flash through his eyes, but what do I know?

 

We reached the kitchen and I immediately jumped behind Harry when I saw the two unfamiliar people standing in the middle of the kitchen, unpacking groceries. I looked over his shoulder at them as he spoke.

 

"Hi Jane, hi Sam. This is Louis." Harry stepped sideways so that they could see me.

 

I instantly shrunk down, and looked down at my feet, muttering a greeting.

 

"So Sam, can you help us build the wolf?" Harry stepped closer to me, so that our arms were touching.

 

I relaxed a little, which scared me, because since when does Harry relax me?

 

"Let me just finish up here and then I'll help you out." The small man smiled.

 

He had a sparkle in his hazel eyes that made me feel calmer around him. He had a small bald spot on the back of his head, but other than that he looked pretty young. Jane was blonde with blue eyes and had a very pretty smile that made you feel welcome.

 

Harry and I sat in the living room watching TV until Sam finished. He sat in the recliner next to mine and I immediately scooted over as far as I could without getting out of the chair completely. I saw Harry shoot me a reassuring look, and I tried to calm down, but an alarm was going off in my head.

 

"Okay so here's what we're going to do."

 

Sam proceeded to tell us all about his plan, and how we were going to build the wolf. It sounded easy enough, until we actually tried it.

 

Sam was cutting every piece perfectly, but Harry and I kept messing up and ended up wasting a lot of wood. I probably could have done better, but I was scared out of my mind. Sam having a saw in his hand did not help. If Harry hadn't been glancing at me every five seconds, I probably would have run.

 

When we finished cutting out the pieces we put it all together, then stood back and looked at our work.

 

"Looks pretty good." Sam clapped Harry and the back, and a small whimper escaped my mouth involuntarily. Luckily Sam didn't notice, but Harry did. He looked over at me as Sam left and just stared at me, like h was looking into my soul. I swallowed heavily.

 

"Now all we have to do is paint it." I sighed looking at the three foot tall, wooden wolf.

 

"Yeah, but that can wait, let's take a break.

 

I was glad he said that. We ended up playing football with Liam and Zayn, and I was winning when Jane called everyone back inside.

 

"Jane can Louis stay for dinner?" Harry asked.

 

"Of course he can!" She smiled at me, and I smiled back.

 

Harry looked at me, and I realized he was waiting for an answer.

 

"I'd love too, thank you, but I just need to make a quick phone call." I turned on my heel and walked into the living room, sitting on the couch.

 

Five minutes later when I had pressed call, Harry came and sat on the other end of the couch.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Hey, Darcy."

 

 

"Louis! When are you coming home? I'm bored."

 

"Actually I called to tell you I was going to eat dinner at a friend’s house tonight." Out of the corner of my eye I saw Harry smile, at what I don't know.

 

"Oh. Well what am I supposed to eat? There's nothing here." She whined.

 

"Nothing?" I remembered there was only cereal in there this morning.

 

"Nope. I've looked everywhere too."

 

"Okay, well I'll be home in a bit with some food, how about that?"

 

"Okay!" She hung up the phone before I had time to reply.

 

"Sorry Curly, I can't stay for dinner. Darcy, she lives with me, is hungry and there isn't any food at the house."

 

I stood up just as a little blonde boy came running into the room.

 

"Did you say Darcy? As in Darcy Johnson." The boy beamed.

 

"Yeah, that's her. How do you-"

 

"She's in my class. She's your sister?" He took a step towards me and I scooted over, closer to Harry.

 

"In a way, yes." I shrugged.

 

"Jane!" The boy ran into the kitchen and came back, pulling an annoyed looking Jane into the living room.

 

"Can Darcy come over? You know, the one I've been talking about? That's her brother." He pointed at me.

 

"Really?" Jane met my eyes and I nodded my head, not wanting to explain that she wasn't my biological sister.

 

"Well if it's okay with Louis, it's okay with me." Jane turned around and walked back into the kitchen.

 

The boy started running towards me, but luckily Harry jumped up and caught him before her could reach me.

 

"So Louis, can Darcy come over?" Harry smirked. "It would solve our little problem."

 

"Yeah. I'm sure she's love to. Are you friends?" I directed the question at the boy squirming to get away from Harry.

 

"The best! Ask her about Jack next time you see her." He stopped wiggling and glared up at Harry. "Why didn't you tell me you knew her brother?" He pouted.

 

"I didn't even know he had a sister." Harry retorted.

 

"Well when is she coming?" Jack stomped his foot, and Harry let go of him.

 

"Let's go get her." He pulled out his keys and I followed them out to his car.

 

When we finally reached my house, I glanced at Harry who was fiddling with his thumbs.

 

"We'll wait here if you want." He offered.

 

I felt a rush of warmth run through my body about the fact that he wouldn't come in unless I wanted him too. Maybe he really does know how I feel, about certain things.

 

"You can come in." I smiled, and climbed out of the car.

 

As soon as I knocked on the door, Darcy swung it open, hugging my waist. She stepped back and her eyes widened at Harry, then down to Jack.

 

"Jack? Louis what's going on?" She started backing up and I stepped inside.

 

"This is Harry, and you know Jack, correct?" I raised an eyebrow.

 

"Yeah of course, he's my best friend after all." She scoffed.

 

"I thought I was your best friend." I frowned.

 

"No, you're my best friend." Harry played along, frowning at me.

 

"Hey! What about me?" Jack looked up at Harry, poking out his bottom lip.

"Jack!" Darcy fake gasped.

 

"Darcy!" I put a hand over my heart.

 

"Lou!" Harry put a hand on his head and sat down.

 

"Harry!" Jack jumped on Harry's lap and frowned at him.

 

Darcy all of the sudden burst into a fit of giggles and soon the rest of us followed. I had tears coming out of my eyes when Harry finally tapped my shoulder.

 

"We should really get going." He said in between laughs.

 

I slowly stopped laughing and picked up Darcy, who was lying on the floor holding her stomach. Harry did the same with Jack and we slid them into the back seat.

 

"Your house is huge!" Darcy pressed her face against the glass and stared at it.

 

When we finally got inside I smelled the aroma of hamburgers and hot dogs cooking on a grill.

 

Harry led us into the backyard. Just like the rest of the house, it was huge. There was a pool right in front of the porch. There was an open space, and a basketball goal at one end. There was also an outdoor kitchen under a roof to the right of the pool. It was amazing, to say the least.

 

While we ate I found out that Harry’s parents had died in a fire, and that he had lived here for about two years. I told him how my dad had died of cancer, and my mum in a car crash. It was easy to talk to him, but when he asked me if I liked where I was living now, I drew the line.

 

“Can we talk about something else?” I said finishing my hamburger.

 

“Want to play basketball?”

 

“Sure.” I jumped off of the lounge chair we were sitting off and we raced to the goal.

 

**

 

“I so won!” I laughed when we were back in Harry’s room.

 

“No I did!” Harry argued.

 

“Sure.” I narrowed my eyes.

 

“Whatever.” Harry laughed and sat down at his desk, facing me.

 

I glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost eight. I was really glad Mr. Smith wasn’t home.

 

“Hey, not to sound rude or anything, but I really should be getting home.” I frowned.

 

“Okay, get Darcy and we’ll go.” Harry stood up and we found Darcy.

 

When we got back to my house I turned to Harry and smiled.

 

“Thanks, for letting us come over Harry. I had a lot of fun, and I know Darcy did too.” He smiled at me as I got out of his car.

 

That night before I fell asleep, I realized something. I realized that I didn’t want to distance myself from Harry. He’s been so nice to me, and he’s there when I need him. Maybe all I really needed was a friend. Maybe he does care about me.

 

When I woke up the next morning, The Smiths were sitting on the couch with a boy between them.


	6. Chapter 5

"Sooner or later everyone will cause you pain…You just have to figure out which ones are worth it."

****

"Louis, Darcy, this is Niall." Mr. Smith slapped Niall on the back just a little too hard.

 

"Hi Niall." I tried to smile at him, but at the moment I was filled with hate and anger, so smiling was pretty much impossible.

 

"Niall, you'll be in the room next to Louis and Darcy's. You may go there now." It was a command, not a suggestion.

 

Niall stood up fast and took a final glance at me with pity in his eyes before going to his new room.

 

"What did you do with Jamie?" I spat.

 

Jamie had lived here for three years, but had gotten pneumonia just days before the Smiths left. They said they were going to take her to a hospital, but none of us really believed them.

 

"She's with another family. We told them we just couldn't afford her medical needs, now that she has that disease."

 

Liar. They had plenty of money, they just didn't spend any of it on their foster kids. I don't understand why they even became foster parents. They hate kids. I know this because they told me.

 

"You're on restriction until next Friday. You are allowed to go to work, but that's it. Not that it really matters; you never go anywhere except work. You have no friends, not that I’m surprised. You really are a worthless prick aren't you?"

 

"What? Why?" I balled my fists in anger.

 

"For leaving the house without telling us to go God knows where!" He stood up, and I shrunk down a little.

 

"We just went to get food. There was none here and-"

 

"Go to your room!"

 

He slapped me hard across the face, and I held a hand to my stinging cheek as I made my way up the stairs. I opened the door and Darcy was lying face down on the bed crying. I ran over to her and rolled her over.

 

"Darcy what's wrong?" I wiped a tear from her pink cheek with my thumb.

 

"You always get blamed, and he hurts you. It's not fair! Why can't we just leave?"

 

"It's not that easy Darcy. I'll be able to leave in four months, and I'll see if the agency will let me take you with me."

 

I had been thinking about this for a while, but I wasn't sure if they would let me, but who knows.

 

"Promise?" She sniffed.

 

I held out my pinky and she held out hers.

 

****

 

I rolled over once again and glanced at the clock. 2:45 AM. I must have insomnia or something; I'm never able to sleep.

 

I had been thinking about my situation with Harry, and I had decided that I did want him in my life. He was a great friend, and he didn't pressure me into anything I didn't want to do. I'm just worried that once he finds out about my foster parents abusing me he won't want anything to do with me. It happened once when I was in eighth grade.

 

I was friends with this guy named Ed. When I told him about my foster parents he didn't believe me! It made me so mad, and I got into my first real fight with my foster dad, that was when he broke my arm. It took me a year to convince Ed I was telling the truth, but when he finally believed me, he never spoke to me again. Like, he flat out ignored me. His only comment was that he didn't want to get in the middle of my life problems. Ed was my last friend, until Harry. I hate to admit it, but Harry is my friend now. There’s no denying it anymore.

 

I guess that's another reason why I won't tell anyone about my situation, or why I won't just run away. It's only four more months though. Hopefully I can last that long. I reached for my phone and texted Harry, hoping he would answer.

 

Louis: You awake?

 

  
It took him a while to reply, but he eventually did.

 

Harry: I am now.

 

 

Louis: Sorry I just wanted to ask you something

 

 

Harry: What is it?

 

 

Louis: Why didn't you give up?

 

  
I hit send before I could rethink asking him that.

 

Harry: Give up on what?

 

 

Louis: Me. I told you to go away and didn't talk to you, but you still sat by me every day and talked to me. Why?

 

  
Harry didn't answer and I thought maybe he had fallen asleep or something, but a few minutes later my phone lit up across the dark, shadowy room.

 

Harry: I don't really know. There was just something about you that I liked. I could tell you were different from the other kids. They all laugh and make fun of me when they find out I'm gay, but you just said okay and it didn't seem to bother you at all. I guess then I realized that I might have actually found a friend. Wow. That sounded pathetic:( Liam and Zayn are nice and all, but it's different, I don't really consider us friends, but I consider you a friend. I hope you think of me as a friend too.

 

  
I stared at the message in disbelief. I never knew people made fun of him, but then again half the time I didn't know what was going on around me. I tend to block things out.

 

Louis: Of course I think of you as a friend! I'm your only friend and you're my only friend, but that doesn’t bother me, because you're a great friend:)

 

 

Harry: You are too:)

 

  
I smiled and turned off my phone. Finally I was able to sleep.

 

****

 

Harry wasn't at school Monday and I was worried by the time lunch rolled around. He hadn't texted or called me at all. I pulled out my phone and clicked his contact.

 

"Hello?" I noticed that his voice was hoarse.

 

"Where are you?" I was surprised at how that sounded more like a whine than a question.

 

I kind of missed the lad. It was a lonely in first period without him there.

 

"I'm sick, so I stayed home."

 

So that's why his voice sounds like that.

 

"Oh, well I hope you feel better soon, I was bored in first period."

 

"I'll be back tomorrow don't worry." He chuckled weakly.

 

"Okay. Are you going to be able to come to the coffee shop after school?"

 

"I don't think so Lou, I feel awful."

 

I smiled at the nickname he had just given me. I heard him sneeze, and I frowned.

 

"Bless you."

 

"Thanks. Can you come over on Wednesday so we can paint the wolf?"

 

"No, I’m on restriction and I'm not allowed to go anywhere but work until Friday."

 

"That sucks."

 

"It does."

 

"Well if you're free Saturday than we can paint it then."

 

"Sounds like a plan." I smiled thinking of going to Harry's house again. "Now get some rest. I gotta go to class.

 

"Bye Lou."

 

"Bye Harry."

 

I smiled and hit the end call button, before shoving my phone back into my pocket.

 

"Was that your boyfriend?" I froze as Eleanor spoke.

 

"N-No, we're just friends." I stuttered.

 

Why must I always stutter when I'm nervous?

 

"Oh please, I see the way he looks at you. It's obvious!" With that said she stalked away to her group of friends.

 

I thought about what she said for the rest of the day. Did he really look at me a certain way, and why did this get me excited?

 

When it was time to go to work I pushed the thought from my mind and concentrated on serving customers. Right before my break I saw a familiar curly headed boy walk through the doors.

 

"Harry? I thought you were sick?"

 

"I was feeling a little better, and I missed you so here I am."

 

He missed me? How sweet. Again? Why am I having these thoughts?

 

"I missed you too." The words came out of my mouth before I even had time to think about what I was saying.

 

It was the truth though, I had missed him. I didn't realize how much he had affected me until today when he wasn't there.

 

He blushed. He freaking blushed. I made him blush just by saying that I missed him. Oh God why?

 

"I'll take the usual." He looked back into my eyes, and I swear he looked sad for a split second, but then it was replaced by happiness.

 

I laughed lightly and went to make our coffee. Harry leaned against the counter and watched me, as I made them and then we walked to our table in the back of the restaurant.

 

We talked until my break was over, and I literally had to make Harry go home. He wanted to stay so he could drive me home after my shift was over, but begged him to go home so he could sleep and be at school the next day. He finally gave in after ten minutes of begging from me.

 

He came to school the next morning, but he didn't look any better. His skin was pale, and his hair was a mess, but his eyes still shined brightly.

 

"Harry are you okay?" He sat down next to me.

 

"Yeah, it’s just a cold." He nodded.

 

I felt bad for him. He didn't look like he felt good at all, but I said I wanted him to come, so he did. He came because I told him. I let that sink in as I stared at him for a few more minutes.

 

He opened his book to the assigned page and raised his hand to the page. I spoke without thinking, again.

 

"Why do you do that?"

 

Why would I say that? It's none of my business.

 

"Do what?" Harry gave be a puzzled look and I pointed to his hand.

 

"You put your hand on the page, and you don't know how to pronounce a lot of words." Well the way I just said that made me sound like a jerk. Great. "Sorry this is none of my business." I apologized quickly, opening my own textbook.

 

"It's okay I don't mind." Harry frowned. "I have dyslexia."

 

"Really?" I tried to hide my surprise, but it was really hard. Apparently there's a lot about Harry I don't know.

 

"Yeah, but do me a favor, and don't tell anyone I told you that. They don't need another reason to make fun of me." I think he glanced over to Eleanor, but it was so quick I may have imagined it.

 

I actually felt a small pang in my chest. Another reason? I would punch anyone who made fun of Harry. How could you? He's so kind.

 

"I won't tell anyone." I shook my head and he smiled gratefully at me.

 

The rest of the day he seemed kind of in a faraway place, and I wondered what was on his mind. At lunch I was surprised when he walked towards me with two trays. He slid one across the table to me without a word.

 

"Harry you've got to stop buying me things, I feel bad about it." I picked up the fork anyway and started eating.

 

"Don't. My foster parents give me a lot of allowance." He shrugged and started eating as well.

 

I could tell he didn't feel good, and I felt bad for him.

 

"Don't come to the coffee shop today. We're almost done anyways, so I'll just finish it. Get some rest."

 

He didn't argue and I was glad. He just nodded his head and got up to throw his tray away although he hadn't eaten hardly anything.

 

Then he left. I guess he just needed to be by himself. I knew what that was like, so I left him alone while I finished my lunch.

 

We sat in silence for the next two periods, and he offered to drive me home. But I turned him down because I had to walk with Niall and Darcy. He offered to drive them too, but he already did a lot for me, and I was feeling bad that I wasn't doing nearly as much for him.

 

"We'll be fine." I smiled and he smiled back then got into his car and drove away. Seconds later Niall appeared and we went to get Darcy.

 

I had learned that Niall was fifteen, and his parents had been killed in a car accident like my mother. He was still pretty upset about it, because it only happened a week ago. He said his grandmother was in another country, Ireland, and until they sorted out the paperwork he was stuck here with us. He was lucky; he would actually get to leave this horrible place.

 

I went to work as usual and finished our report during my break. It was weird with Harry not being there to keep me interested. I was so used to being around him that it felt like something was missing. Well something was missing, Harry was missing.

 

Now that I think about it Harry has done a lot for me in only a month. He's helped me a lot. I looked down at my wrist. There were only faint scars there. I hadn't cut in over two weeks, and I don't feel the need to as often.

 

What has Harry done to me?


	7. Chapter 6

I stretched my arms above my head and yawned. Then, I got up and went to get dressed for school. It was Friday again, and my only motivation to get up was that I would get to see Harry. I'm really glad he's my friend now; it makes my life a little bit better.

 

I woke Darcy up, and then searched through my dresser for something to wear. I decided on a white sweater and black skinny jeans, mostly because they would hide the bruises I had gotten last night when Mr. Smith pushed me down the stairs for being up at eleven o'clock. I just had to pee, but he wouldn't listen to me, and unfortunately we were standing by the stairs so he just pushed me down them and laughed. He thought it was funny. I really hate that guy.

Mrs. Smith's no better though. She's always yelling at us, and makes us do chores, but she never actually hits us, aside from a slap here and there. I'm still terrified of her, though I don't act like it. I learned that showing fear around here will get you nowhere, so you just have to man up and hold back the tears.

I slipped into my clothes and went into the bathroom to comb my hair. I dabbed a little concealer on the bruise on my chin and walked out of the bathroom to find Darcy sitting on my bed ready for school. She was wearing a blue dress and her dark curly hair was falling around her shoulders. She was swinging her legs back and forth and I noticed she was wearing the small silver bracelet I had gotten for her on her birthday.

I walked to Niall's room and knocked. He came out wearing blue jeans and a yellow t-shirt. His hair was styled in a quiff, which made him look a couple inches taller, and his Blue eyes were tired looking. He was wearing white high-tops which were actually pretty cool considering I don't like high tops all that much.

"Ready?"

"I guess." He shrugged and we all walked downstairs to get some breakfast.

Niall flinched when Mrs. Smith came into the kitchen to make eggs and bacon for her and Mr. Smith. We got cereal. Plain wheat cereal, nothing fancy, but enough satisfy my empty stomach. Sometimes they wouldn't even give us milk.

They also wouldn't eat or drink anything we touched. It was like they thought we had a disease or something. Everything that was ours had a label on it with the words ‘theirs’ written in black sharpie. They are very peculiar people.

Niall was still getting used to things around here and I felt sorry for him. The first night he got here I heard Mr. Smith threatening him about telling anyone about anything that happened here. Every new kid gets that speech, and usually ends up crying after it, but Niall didn't. Probably because he knew he would be leaving soon. He’s such a lucky kid.

We finished breakfast and walked out the door. I stopped when I saw a black car at the end of the street. Why must he do this to me? Now what am I supposed to do?

"Harry!" Darcy ran towards the car with her arms wide open and a big smile on her face.

After Saturday she told me she liked Harry, and gave me her ‘approval’. Then she went on and on about how nice he was and how I should always be his friend no matter what, and now I'm starting to think she's right.

I sighed and watched as Harry got out of the car to hug her. How adorable. I waved and walked to the car where Darcy had already gotten into the back seat.

"Hey, what are you doing here curly?" I smirked at my witty nickname I came up with.

"I'm taking you guys to school silly." He seemed pleased with the name as well.

"Thanks, but you don't really have to."

"Yes he does! My feet hurt!" Darcy yelled from the back seat. She leaned up and smiled sweetly at us.

Harry, Niall, and I all started laughing at her remark and I turned back to Niall to introduce him.

"By the way this is Niall, and Niall that's Harry."

"Hi Niall." Harry shook his hand.

"Hi Harry." He smiled and I noticed for the first time he had braces. They were white so I guess that's why I hadn't noticed them before now.

We piled into Harry’s car and after dropping Darcy off we pulled into the high school's parking lot.

"Thanks Harry." Niall smiled and headed off towards his locker, leaving Harry and I alone in the car. How awkward.

"Louis, can I ask you something?" I hesitantly nodded.

What could he possibly want to ask me? It couldn't be good that's for sure, not if he was nervous about asking me.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

I glanced over at him with a slightly worried expression. If it was bad enough that I wouldn't want to answer then it must be bad. Oh no. Louis, don't panic.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Does someone," He paused and opened his eyes to glance over at me with a hint of sadness in his eyes. "Hit you?"

I was so shocked I couldn't move, or talk, or even look at him. He had figured it out. Mr. Smith is going to kill me. Oh no. I needed to get out of there. Fast. It took everything I had to move my arms to open the car door. When I finally got the door open tears were building in my eyes, and I was fighting to keep them down.

I walked quickly to the bathroom so I could have some privacy. I was glad that Harry didn't follow me, because there's no telling what could have come out of my mouth if he did. Why did he have to ask that now? Why did he have to ask that here? Why did he have to ask that at all? Doesn't he know I don't like to talk about it? I thought I made that perfectly clear. I knew I should have distanced myself from him. I knew this was going to happen. This is all my fault. I’m so stupid, I was just being an ignorant ass!

I went into one of the stalls and slammed the door closed. I slumped down against the wall and put my head in my hands and let the tears fall. The warmth of my tears caused my cheeks to turn red, and my eyes to go puffy.

What was I supposed to say? Oh yeah both my foster parents abuse me, but I can't do anything about it so don't worry about it. Yeah right. How did he even figure it out? It's my fault really. I let him get to close. He probably saw the bruises; I probably said something I shouldn't have. It's not that hard to put two and two together after all. Harry may have dyslexia, but he's still smart and funny and nice and kind and caring. Wait what am I thinking? I'm mad at him!

No I'm not. I sighed

I'm mad at myself. Why did I let this happen? I'm so confused!

I cursed aloud when the bell rang. I jumped up from the floor and wiped my eyes quickly then sprinted to science class. The door was locked so I knocked and the door opened to reveal a very annoyed looking Mr. Turner.

"Tomlinson you're late, you have after school detention!"

"No I can't I have to pick up my uhh, sister and then I have to go to work!" I could feel the tears start to fall again, but I didn't much care at the moment.

I knew everyone in the classroom's eyes were on me and Mr. Turner at that moment, but I didn’t care. I didn't care about anything after what had just happened. I couldn’t have If I tried. It was like everything around me was a blur.

"Well you should have thought about that before you showed up late!"

My emotions are just everywhere today. It's like I'm on my man-period. Stupid mood swings! Stupid Harry! Stupid bell! Stupid Mr. Turner! Stupid School! Stupid Louis! Stupid Life.

I broke as the thought crossed my mind. Something in me just snapped, and it was like I wasn't controlling myself anymore. I wasn't me anymore. I haven't been me since my parents died. This isn't me.

I shook my head and then screamed. I just let out all my anger and frustration out in that one scream. Then I turned around and ran down the hall. I heard a loud bang behind me, but I thought nothing of it, I just kept running. I was almost at the door when a pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist and stopped me from going any further.

I tried to pry off the arms, but they held tight. I wiggled and kicked, but they just wouldn't let go. I pleaded with them to let go, but the next thing I knew I was being drug into the boy's bathroom.


	8. Chapter 7

Harry's POV (1 Day Earlier)

 

I rolled over and pulled the covers tighter around my shoulders. I couldn't sleep, and I think it's because of Louis.

I'm worried about him. He's been acting weird ever since he came to my house Saturday. Saturday, I smiled remembering all the fun we had. I couldn't wait until this Saturday when he would come over again. Then there was the time when we started talking about our foster homes, and he wouldn't look me in the eyes. I think he was lying to me, but I'm not exactly sure.

I've been noticing that he'll come to school and have a new bruise or cut on his body every day. I just wonder how he gets them. He says he fell, or that he's clumsy, but even I know that's a lie. No one trips that much. I'm starting to think maybe someone hits him, but I'm afraid to ask. I mean, he hardly likes me now; I don't want to ruin our friendship. Plus, he'd probably just deny it. I wish he'd just tell me the truth, but that won't happen for a long time.

Louis obviously doesn’t trust anyone, not even me, and that hurts, but it's just how it is. I've tried to get through to him, but it only upsets him. I don't like seeing him upset. It's like watching a lost puppy look for its mum. It's absolutely heart breaking.

Why won't he just talk to me?! I groaned aloud.

Wait, why do I even care?

What am I saying? I know exactly why I care. I'm falling for Louis. I know I said I wouldn't, but I am and I can't help it. Even though I know he'll never like me back I can still hope right? Is that so wrong?

I sighed aloud and rolled over again, trying to get comfortable.

I remember what Eleanor said to me yesterday and I was filled with anger all over again. I hate her so much. It was just before lunch when she decided she needed to remind me that Louis would never like me, yet again. She said it just like that.

"Harry you do know Louis will never like you right? Why are you even trying? He's as straight as a board." She laughed evilly and walked off before I could reply.

She was right though. That's what hurts the most. She's right. For now I'm going to have to be content with just being friends with Louis, but first I've got to fix him. I can tell he's been broken at some point in his life. Something happened to him, and I'm going to find out what happened to him if it's the last thing I do. He won’t tell me just yet, but maybe he'll warm up to me eventually.

I'm just going to keep my feelings for him to myself for now. I've got to focus on Louis, I've got to find a way to help him, and I've got to find a way to make him fall for me too.

This shouldn't be too hard. Cue sarcasm.

****

I rolled across my bed and slapped my alarm clock. I hate that damn thing. It's always beeping and waking me up from my peaceful slumber.

Except it wasn't a peaceful slumber, I couldn't sleep at all last night, and when I did it was filled with nightmares, of Louis hating me for some odd reason.

I threw my legs over the bed, but pulled them back under the covers when they made contact with the cold, hard wood floor.

I picked up my phone and saw that I could wait a few more minutes before getting up to get ready for school. I had decided last night that I would go to pick up Louis. It was terrible that Darcy and him had to walk to school. I couldn't imagine having to walk everywhere I go, but then again I'm kind of lazy.

I sighed and got out of bed to get ready for the day. Approximately 36 minutes later I grabbed my keys and headed for my car. My foster parents had gotten it for me for my sixteenth birthday, and I was so happy when they did. That's the good thing about having rich foster parents; they buy you lots of expensive stuff.

I wonder if Louis's foster parents have money.

I drove to Louis's street and stopped at the end of the road. After five minutes of waiting I cut the engine off. I looked around to make sure no one was watching. When I was satisfied that no one would see me, I pulled out the little piece of paper I kept in my pocket at all times and began to read the messy handwriting that was so familiar to me.

Dear Harry,

If you're reading this than you've grown up into the man we knew you would. We just want to say we're so proud of you, and we're glad you're our son. If you're ever mad at us just remember that we love you so much and we do what we do to protect you and help you through life. I hope one day when you feel alone you'll read this letter again and know that we're always with you. We love you! We decided to write this letter incase anything happens to us. I hope we will live a long happy life with you, but that doesn't always happen. Life isn't fair is it? Anyways just don't forget us alright? We're always in your heart. We love you Darling.

Love, Mom and Dad.

05/14/95

I always thought my mum had a sixth sense or something. She always had a feeling when something was going to happen. My parents had written this letter when I was a year old and had given it to my grandmother to give to me when I was 'ready.' Then they died a year later. My grandmother gave it to me a few days before she died of cancer and I had kept it ever since. It's the only thing I have to remember my parents by. I find myself reading it a lot. I always feel alone, and even though they say they're always with me, it just doesn’t feel like it.

Louis helped with the loneliness though. I feel like all my thoughts lead to Louis in some way. It’s a bit frustrating.

I heard someone scream my name and I was brought out of my thoughts. Darcy was running towards me so I got out of the car to hug her.

"What are you doing here Curly?" I tried to hide my blush. Louis was adorable.

Okay I need to stay calm if I have to just be his friend right now.

"Taking you guys to school silly." I laughed lightly under my breath.

Louis was so childlike it was cute.

Control. Your. Thoughts.

"Thanks, but you really don't have to."

"Yes he does! My feet hurt!" Darcy shouted from the backseat.

Louis, some guy I assume is living with Louis now, and I started laughing at Darcy's outburst.

"By the way this is Niall, Niall that's Harry." Louis motioned to each of us as he said our names.

My name sounds so beautiful coming out of his mouth. Okay seriously. I have no self-control. What so ever.

"Hi Niall." I shook Niall’s hand trying to be friendly and all.

"Hi Harry." He smiled revealing shiny white braces.

We all got into my car and I drove us to our schools, dropping Darcy off first.

When we pulled into the high school parking lot Niall thanked me and then went to his locker, which left Louis and I alone in the car. It’s now or never.

I snuck a quick glance over at him from the corner of my eye. I noticed a large purplish bruise on his forearm, and I blurted out the question without thinking.

"Louis can I ask you something?"

Crap. What have I done? I saw him nod and decided it was worth a try. What's the worst that could happen? That question always seems to backfire doesn't it? Oh well.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to." I didn't want him to feel pressured, but I really wanted him to answer it, though I doubted he would.

I saw a worried look cross Louis's facial features and I regretted what I was about to ask, but there was no way out now.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before speaking again to calm myself.

"Does someone," I paused thinking of a nicer way to put it. I opened my eyes and stole a glance over at Louis who was playing with his thumbs and staring down at his lap. "Hit you?" Well that wasn't nice at all.

He sat still for a while, but then he just had a spaz attack and it was like he couldn't get out of my car fast enough. He wrenched open the door and walked briskly inside of the building.

I groaned and ran a hand through my hair. I knew I shouldn't have asked that question. Why am I so stupid? I knew he would react badly! Why?

I banged my fists on the steering wheel and got out of my car shutting the door a little too hard. I went straight to first period. I wasn't surprised that Louis wasn't there, he probably hates me now. Great. Just fucking great.

I figured he would come in right before the bell, but the bell rang and he was nowhere to be seen. To top it all off Mr. Turner was in a bad mood today. He even yelled at his favorite student for raising her hand while he was speaking. He probably got turned down by yet another female. He was always in a bad mood after his dates. I tuned him out as I thought of possibilities where Louis could be.

I came back to reality when I heard a faint knock at the door. Mr. Turner stomped over to the door angrily and swung it open. From where I was sitting I had a clear view of the boy standing at the door. His eyes, cheeks, and nose were red. He'd been crying. I made him cry.

I wanted to jump up and pull him into my chest and to apologize. It was heart breaking to watch Mr. Turner yell at him like that. Like he was nothing.

But he's not nothing. He's everything to me. Wow, that sounded really cliché didn’t it?

Then I heard Louis scream, loud. After that he just turned around and ran with tears falling from his eyes. I couldn't just sit there anymore. I had to do something quick. I jumped up so fast my chair fell over, and I ran after Louis. Without a second thought I grabbed him by the waist and pulled him into the bathroom, despite his protests.

He was kicking and screaming and trying to wiggle out of my grip, but I held onto him as tight as I could. There was no way I was letting go. He was crying hysterically and my eyes were starting to fill with tears just watching him in so much pain. I felt so bad for doing this to him. The guilt was eating me alive.

I held him there until he stopped moving. He went limp in my arms and I backed up against a wall so I could sit down. I slid down and he went with me. He ended up beside me and I put my arms around him as he cried into my shoulder and I hugged him.

I didn't say anything, there was nothing to say. I just let him cry. I knew he just needed to let it out. He just needed someone to be there for him. I was glad to be that someone. My shoulder was soaking wet when he finally looked up at me.

Saddest. Thing. Ever. If you've ever seen one of those animal shelter commercials with all the dogs and cats, then put all of their sad, pitiful little faces together as one, then that's about what Louis looked like. His bright blue eyes were now a sad grey rimmed with red, and his hair was sticking up everywhere. It was enough to send a tear rolling down my cheek.

I was stunned when Louis brushed it away with his thumb and then put his arms around me and hugged me back. Not that I'm complaining or anything, but it wasn't like Louis to do that kind of stuff. I was glad he let me touch him, but now he was willingly touching me.

"I'm sorry Lou." I whispered.

Louis tightened his grip around me and nuzzled into my side. I felt something flutter in my stomach. He was so close. We were, cuddling.

The thought sent a shiver down my spine and I pulled Louis even closer to me. He rested his head on my shoulder and sniffed. I put my chin on his head and rubbed circles on his back.

I don't know how long we sat like that, in silence, but it was a good while before Louis pulled away from me. I was kind of sad when he did. He moved in front of me and just stared at me with a blank expression.

His face was still red from crying and his hair was a mess, but he was still beautiful in my eyes.

Again with the cliché lines…

I hesitantly cupped his cheek with my hand and was delighted when he didn't pull away. He even smiled at me and leaned into my hand, half closing his eyes.

I grinned, and then stood up. I looked down at him and I swear it looked like a ten year old was sitting at my feet, not a seventeen year old.

I held out my hand and he took it. I pulled him up, but he was lighter than I expected so I stumbled backwards taking him with me. He put his hands out to catch himself on the wall, so we ended up where my back was against the wall and he had his hands on the wall on either side of my head. He was close enough to me so that I could smell his cologne. I inhaled the sweet smell, and desperately wanted to grab his cheeks and smash our lips together, but I would never get away with that.

The next thing I knew we were both leaning in. Louis's eyes fluttered closed, and mine soon followed. I could feel his hot breath on my lips and I knew he was only inches away. I was finally going to kiss Louis!

"Yeah and then I said-" Three guys walked in at that moment laughing, but stopped when they saw us.

Talk about bad timing.

Louis jumped away like I was on fire or something. He scratched the back of his head, walked around in a little circle, and then ran out of the bathroom avoiding eye contact with the three boys and me.

I ran after him leaving the three boys standing there in the middle of the boy's bathroom shocked.

I almost had him. He was almost going to be okay, but now he's upset all over again.

"Louis, wait!" I reached out and grabbed his hand, and he spun around to face me.

"Look, I'm really confused right now and I just need to be alone, please Harry. Just give me some t-time alone." His voice broke at the end, and I could see that he was crying again.

He looked kind of scared. I looked at him with pleading eyes, then dropped his hand when I figured out it was no use.

"I'm sorry Harry." He whimpered.

He shook his head and started turned around to start walking. I would call him later, but for now I needed to think about some things, and he wanted to be alone so I was going to let him no matter how much it hurt me to watch him walk away.

I sat down on the bench a few feet away from where I was standing and stared off into the distance, just letting my mind wander.

What just happened?

First, I made Louis cry, then he cried on my shoulder in the bathroom, then he was fine for a second and let me touch him, then we almost kissed, then he said he needed to be alone.

I wonder what would have happened if those boys hadn't walked in when they did. Would I be sitting here alone right now wondering what I did wrong? Probably not.

But poor Louis, I wonder what he thinks of all of this. I hope I didn't just screw everything up.


	9. Chapter 8

“Words can break someone into a million pieces, but they can also put them back together.”

****

Louis's POV

 

  
I walked slowly back to the house. What was the point of going fast? I was just going back to an empty, cold, heartless house. No one would be home. That's the only reason I'm going there.

 

I reached the steps and raced to my bedroom. Unfortunately Darcy had left a pillow lying in the doorway and I face planted onto the hard floor.

 

I groaned and rubbed my throbbing nose. Since I didn't have the energy to get up I just laid there. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples, hoping the headache would go away. It didn’t.

 

So many thoughts were bouncing around in my head, and I couldn't stop them. There are so many questions I need answers to, but no answers come to my mind. Only more questions. I'm questioning myself, Harry, my foster parents, but most of all the point of living.

 

Everything I've worked for is gone. Whatever I had left is gone. I'm so confused and frustrated with Harry. My foster dad keeps hitting me, my grades are slipping, and the whole school knows I live with foster parents now. Everything bad is happening right now! Why?

 

Then it dawned on me. Harry. Everything started when I met Harry. I let myself open up to someone and now my life is worse than before. I never even thought that was even possible, but I guess it was.

 

What had Harry and I been doing in the bathroom anyways? What happened between us? He was leaning in to kiss me before those boys walked in, or at least I think he was. The scariest thing is that I was going to let him.

 

I shuddered and decided to go to my bed. I pulled off my shirt and pants, leaving only my boxers on and slipped under the covers.

 

But I'm not gay, I'm straight.. So why was I going to let him kiss me? It must have been just one of those in the heat of the moment kind of things. Yeah that's it, I don't like Harry. He's just a friend, that's all.

 

Besides, he probably doesn’t like me either. Why did I just feel sad about that? I hate my emotions. They’re so confusing!

 

I stared out the window across from my bed and realized that it was raining. The world must be against me today or something. I’m terrified of thunder storms. I pulled the blankets over my head and wiped away the few tears that had started to fall. I don’t know how I have anything left to cry. All I’ve done lately is cry. I’m such a wimp.

 

Wait a minute. Why would he like me? I'm ugly, worthless, untalented, sarcastic, rude, annoying, and boring, or at least that's what I'm told. He must feel the same way.

 

"This can't be happening." I groaned and rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand.

 

Why do bad things always happen to me?

 

That thought brought on a new wave of sobs. I thought back to a few hours ago when Harry was holding me, and letting me cry into his shoulder. That moment had felt so right. He made me feel better, like nothing in the world could ever hurt me, but now I just feel like my whole world has come crashing down around me.

 

Why was he so worried about me? Maybe because he caused it, he caused this, this is his fault.

 

  
No it's not! I can't blame other people for my stupid mistakes.

 

I stood up and threw a pillow at the ground. I'm not crying anymore, now I'm just angry. I picked up the picture of my parents sitting by my bed and screamed at it.

 

"Why did you have to leave me here? Why? What did I ever do to deserve this? Tell me!"

 

I threw the picture to the ground, then rushed to pick it up as regret flooded through me.

 

"I'm sorry." I cried as I set it back on the nightstand gently.

 

"I'm so sorry." I looked up at the ceiling, and fell back onto my bed.

 

I curled into a ball and sobbed into my knees, the sobs shaking my entire body. I missed the days when my parents were still here and I didn't live with these evil people who hit me every time I breathed. I hadn’t done anything to them, why did they hate me so much?

 

My phone buzzed, so I bent down to pick it up off the floor. It was a text from Harry. Oh goodie.

 

Harry: I'm so sorry Lou; I should never have asked you that. I'm really, really, really sorry and I promise to never do anything like that ever again. Please forgive me! I’m so sorry!:(

 

  
I thought for a moment about what he said, but I couldn't think of anything to say back. I wasn't mad at him, but I don't want to be around him at the moment, or talk to him for that matter.

 

I walked into my bathroom and got my razor blade out of the drawer. I placed it under the faint scar of the last cut and added pressure. The blood ran from the cut down to my palm covering it in a dark red. The warmness of it made me shiver, but I felt like my problems were running down my hand along with my blood. I held it under the sink and it stung badly, but I ignored it and grabbed a bandage to put on it.

 

I walked back to my bed and lay down under the duvet. Thirty minutes later I heard the door open downstairs and then Darcy entered the room.

 

"Louis what's wrong?" She walked up to the bed and looked at my tear stained face.

 

"Nothing." I rolled over so that my back was facing her.

 

"Louis?" She put her small hand on my shoulder and shook me softly.

 

"Not now Darcy!" I half-yelled at her.

 

I instantly felt bad and I turned over to face her again. She had tears building in her eyes and had just turned to walk away when I grabbed her arm.

 

"I'm sorry Darcy; I'm just having a bad day. I didn’t mean to yell at you."

 

"Why don't you call Harry? You’re always happy when he's around." She frowned.

 

Her words were like a slap in the face.

 

"I can't." I dropped her arm and rolled over.

 

"Well why not?"

 

"I just can't." I stood up and grabbed my earphones. "I'm going for a walk, I'll be back later."

 

The rain had stopped, and I needed to clear my head. Walking always helped me do that. She watched as I walked out of the room and down the stairs. I could hear music coming from Niall's room, but ignored it.

 

I plugged in my earphones and turned the music all the way up. I walked down the street and listened carefully to the lyrics.

 

"You know I'm not one to break promises

 

  
I don't wanna hurt you but I need to breathe"

 

  
It's amazing how well I can relate to this song right now.

 

"And at the end of the all you're still my best friend

 

  
But there's somethin' inside that I need to release."

 

  
Yeah I guess he is my best friend.

 

"Which way is right which way is wrong

 

  
How do I say that I need to move on?"

 

  
How am I supposed to move on when I need him so much? Need him? Where did that come from?

 

I felt something wet hit my head and looked up at the grey sky. I could see that it was about to start storming again. I had been walking for over an hour so I knew it would take at least that long to get back. I'd be better off to find a cafe somewhere and wait until the rain stops.

 

I looked around and saw nothing but an empty park. How lovely. By now the rain was pouring and I was getting wetter by the second. It's a good thing I bought that water proof phone case. I continued walking down the street, but the only other thing I saw was an open field and some trees.

 

I felt the large water drops splatter onto my bare arms and shivered at their coldness. I don't know if I just had a moment of craziness or something, but it felt like the water was washing away all my stress.

 

I decided to keep walking since I was already soaking wet, and it wasn’t thundering or lightening. I had in my earphones, but they soon shorted out from getting wet. I threw them carelessly to the ground and kept walking.

 

I heard a loud crack of thunder and saw the lightning flash through the sky, making me jump and walk a little quicker.

 

I spotted an alley between two closed stores and ran into it. I pressed myself against the wall and slid down it. I hugged my knees as another crack of thunder rang through the air.

 

I sat there for a little while before a voice caught my attention.

 

"Louis?” Dread and relied filled my body at the sound of his voice.

 

"Harry?" My voice cracked and I saw a pair of green eyes look in my direction.

 

"Louis!" He ran towards me and knelt down just as a flash of lightning broke in the distance. I let out a small whimper as the thunder came next.

 

"Come on, we need to get out of this storm." Harry stood up, but I couldn't move.

 

I really can’t stand thunder storms.

 

"Come on Louis." He put a hand on my shoulder.

 

Boom! I buried my face in my knees trying to block out the sounds.

 

I heard a sigh and looked up at Harry who had his arms crossed.

 

"Please Louis, we can go back to my house where it's warm and dry." He pleaded.

 

I stood up and he smiled softly.

 

"It's only about a ten minute walk." He glanced at me, but I was too busy looking for lightning to notice.

 

I really wish the lightning would stop. I flinched as it struck nearby.

 

"Hey." Harry put his hand on my shoulder, and oddly enough I didn't mind. "It's okay." He said softly.

 

His words were comforting, but they did nothing for me when the thunder kept rumbling in the distance.

 

"You wanna run? It'll be faster." He looked towards where the latest lightning had struck a tree.

 

I shrugged and started jogging. He came up next to me and then we sprinted until we reached his front door. He stopped and opened the door then stepped to the side, gesturing for me to go in first.

 

"Harry is that you darling?" Jane appeared from around the corner.

 

She gasped when she saw us and ran off. She came back seconds later with two towels and handed them to Harry. I must have been shivering because he wrapped one around my shoulders and led me over to the fire.

 

"I'll be right back." Harry left me standing there, so I held my numb hands out over the fireplace.

 

He came back with a t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and some underwear. He also had a bag in his other hand.

 

"Put this on." He threw the clothes at me and pointed to the bathroom.

 

I walked in and peeled off the wet clothes. I used the towel to dry off my body and then put on the dry clothes Harry let me borrow. It was a black Ramones t-shirt and blue-jeans. I stuffed the wet clothes into the bag and walked out of the bathroom.

 

I placed the bag next to the couch and went to stand in front of the warm fire again. I sat down on the rug cross legged and folded my arms over my chest. Now I could feel myself shivering. It was cold outside, since Fall had started.

 

Harry walked back in dressed in a plain dark green t-shirt and black jeans. He grabbed a blanket off of the couch and sat next to me without a word. He threw it over my lap and I pulled it up to where it covered my arms as well.

 

"I'm going to make some hot chocolate. Do you want some?" He turned to face me.

 

I nodded my head and he walked into the kitchen. I heard the stove click on and I figured out he was making homemade hot chocolate.

 

About fifteen minutes later he came back and handed me a mug. I held his while he sat down and pulled the other end of the blanket around himself. When I handed him his mug he smiled at me.

 

"Careful, it's hot."

 

I blew on it and carefully took a sip. It tasted wonderful and wave of warmth rushed through me.

 

"This is really good." I took another sip and Harry smiled at me again.

 

"Thanks. It's my own secret recipe." He took a sip of his own and licked his lips.

 

He has really nice lips. Here come those weird thoughts again.

 

  
"So, do you like to cook?" I asked, trying to get my mind off of that.

 

  
"Yeah. I'm not too bad at it if I do say so myself." He said proudly.

 

I'd never heard of a guy that could cook, but it was kind of interesting.

 

"You should make me dinner some time." I joked, laughing lightly.

 

"How about tonight." He said seriously. "I don't think the rain's going to be stopping anytime soon, and it's already five o'clock. You cans stay here until it lightens up if you want."

 

As if on cue another bolt of lightning connected with the ground, sending a rumbling sound to my ears. I nodded my head and I swear I saw a small smirk playing on his lips.

 

"Jane, where are Zayn and Liam?" Jane stuck her head around the corner and frowned.

 

"They went to a party, but they can't come back yet because of the rain."

 

"Oh okay." Harry looked back at me, and I quickly turned away blushing.

 

This was about to get really awkward. I watched the flames flicker around the wood, but I could feel Harry's stare burning into the side of my head.

 

"Take a picture, It'll last longer." I smirked.

 

"Okay." I was blinded by a flash, and Harry's laugh filled my ears.

 

"I was joking!" I rubbed my eyes, laughing as I did so.

 

Harry stopped laughing and looked at me again.

 

"I'm really sorry about this morning." He frowned and started playing with the fabric of the blanket.

 

He just had to bring that up. I had almost forgotten about it.

 

"It's okay, I over reacted." I scratched the back of my head awkwardly.

 

Harry scooted closer and put an arm around my shoulders. I leaned my head on his shoulder. Normally I would have pushed his arm away and run out the door, but I was completely out of energy and Harry had been nothing but nice to me ever since I met him.

 

"Do you care about me Harry?" I needed to know.

 

"Of course I do Lou." I looked up to meet his eyes. "Why?"

 

I shrugged and turned my head so that I could see the fire. My eyelids quickly grew heavy, so I closed them.

 

He cares about me. I smiled happily at that realization. I finally found somebody who cares about me. I never thought it was possible for someone to care about me, but here he is sitting next to me by a warm fire. Is this a dream? I pinched myself to make sure. Nope, not a dream. I couldn’t hold back the wide smile that came with that.

 

"Louis?" Harry whispered and I could barely hear him over the rain and the crackling of the fire. "Why don't you go lay on the couch while I make us dinner."

 

"Hmm? Okay." I lifted my head off of his shoulder and he removed his arm from around me.

 

We stood up and I walked to the couch while he made his way to the kitchen.

 

I lay down on the couch and got comfortable, covering up with the warm, fuzzy red blanket. I shut my eyes and fell asleep to the sound of dishes being pulled out of a cabinet.


	10. Chapter 9

I opened my eyelids slowly and peered around the room. Where am I? Oh yeah that's right, I'm at Harry's house.

 

I smelled something wonderful coming from the kitchen, so I sat up. I walked into the kitchen where the smell was coming from and sat down silently in a chair at the table. I watched Harry stir something in a pan. He turned his head slightly to look at me out of the corner of his eye.

 

"Are you finally awake sleepy head?" He teased, pouring the meat into a bowl.

 

"Why did you go looking for me?" The thought had been nagging me ever since I sat down, which wasn't very long, but it was forever in my world.

 

The smile fell from his face and he turned back to the taco shells he was now putting into the oven.

 

"Darcy called me." He mumbled.

 

Darcy! I completely forgot about her!

 

"Oh no I completely forgot- Wait she called you? How did she know your number?" I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back in my chair accusingly.

 

"I erm…gave it to her when you guys were here last Saturday."

 

I stared at him in disbelief.

 

"Why on Earth would you do that?" I had to stop myself from yelling.

 

"Well, I told her to call me if she needed me or if you were ever in trouble." He rushed.

 

"Why would I be in trouble?" I raised an eyebrow.

 

"You were today." He stated with a small smirk.

 

I huffed and laid my head on the table in defeat. Why did he even care if I was in trouble?

 

"Don't fall asleep, dinner is almost ready."

 

I lifted my head and looked out the window. I glanced at my phone and saw that it was already 8:00.

 

"How is it possible that it's still raining?" I grumbled.

 

"Jane said you could stay here for the night if you want, you know since it's raining."

 

I flinched when a bright bolt of lightning streaked through the sky. Well that was all the convincing I needed.

 

"Just let me ask first." I went up the steps to Harry's room so that he wouldn't hear me talking.

 

I put in the house phone's number and pressed my phone to my ear while tapping my foot impatiently.

 

Ring. Ring. Ring.

 

"Louis, where the hell are you?" I think that was the first time Mr. Smith has ever called me by my actual name.

 

"Well, I uhh, I was walking a-and it started r-raining so I went t-to my friend’s house. I was wondering if I c-could stay here for the n-night since it's still raining." I stammered.

 

Thunder rumbled in the background and I shuddered.

 

"I'm not going to tell them." I whispered, trying to convince him to let me stay.

 

I don’t know why, but I really wanted to stay.

 

"Fine, but you'd better be back here tomorrow by noon at the latest."

 

"Yes sir." A smile snuck its way onto my lips and I couldn't help but be excited about not having to stay at that house.

 

He hung up, and I found Niall's contact in my phone and called him.

 

"Hello?" I think I might have woken him up. Oh well.

 

"Hey it's Louis."

 

"Hey Louis." Okay enough small talk.

 

"I'm staying over at a friend’s tonight, and I was wondering if you would watch Darcy for me. Please."

 

"Yeah, Okay sure."

 

"Thanks man. Could I talk to her for a second?"

 

"Yeah." He sighed and I heard some shuffling, but then Darcy's cheery voice rang through my phone’s small speaker.

 

"Louis are you okay? I'm sorry I called Harry, but I didn't know what to do and-"

 

"Darcy it's okay." I laughed. "I'm glad you called him. I'm with him now actually. I'm going to be staying at his house tonight, but I'll be back tomorrow by noon."

 

"Promise?" I could tell she was sad, but trying to be happy for me.

 

"With all my heart." I smiled cheekily at how silly that sounded.

 

She giggled a bit and then we said goodbye. I sprinted down the stairs as I heard plates being set on a table. What? I'm starving.

 

"They said I could stay." I sat down in a chair across from Harry.

 

He looked up from his phone and smiled at me.

 

"Wonderful." He genuinely looked happy that I was staying.

 

He grabbed a taco shell and began putting meat into it. I patiently waited for him to finish before doing the same.

 

It was nice eating at an actual table and holding a conversation with someone who I wasn't terrified of. At the Smith's house you sat quietly and didn't meet anyone's eyes. Whereas here I kept glancing up to meet Harry's sparkling green eyes as we laughed at some crazy story one of us was telling.

 

I'll never understand how he is always so happy. I wish I was like that.

 

I've discovered that Harry and I have a lot in common over the past two months, and that we also have many differences too.

 

"Harry?" I put down my taco as a question came to my mind.

 

"Yeah Lou?" He bit into his taco, and I smiled watching as a small piece of lettuce stuck out of the corner of his mouth.

 

"Where am I going to sleep?" I glanced out the window at the rain splattering them and running down in drop form.

 

"Well I was going to let you sleep in Zayn and Liam's room, but they came back about an hour ago, so I guess you can sleep on the couch, or you could sleep with me." He mumbled the last part.

 

"As tempting as that sounds..." I teased. "I'll sleep on the couch." His face fell a bit, but the smile never left his lips.

 

We finished our meals and went up to his room to watch TV. After about three episodes of Family Guy I started feeling sleepy.

 

"I'm going to go lie down." I stood up and started towards the door.

 

"Goodnight." I smiled at him over my shoulder and continued down the stairs.

 

I fell onto the couch and pulled the blanket around my shoulders tightly. His house is a lot colder than mine. I tried to sleep, but to no avail. My mind wouldn't stop going a mile a minute and the weather wasn't helping much either.

 

So much had happened today. Harry drove me to school, then I got mad at him and we almost kissed. Then I ran away, but he found me and brought me back here. Then he made me dinner and watched TV with me and now I'm lying on his couch trying to ignore the thunder outside the window directly across from the couch.

 

I grabbed a pillow and pressed it over my ears as another loud rumble of thunder came. I stayed like that for another hour, until I decided I couldn't take it anymore.

 

I walked into the kitchen and saw that it was 2AM. I sighed. I shouldn't wake him, but I'm going to anyway.

 

I looked up the steps and was about to turn around when I saw the bright lightning streak across the sky. I walked up the steps and opened Harry's door.

 

He was lying on his side hugging a pillow. His mouth was slightly open and he was snoring softly. His mop of curls were covering half of his face.

 

Honestly he looked freaking adorable, so I was kind of sad I had to wake him. I cautiously walked up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder before shaking him gently.

 

"Harry? Harry?" I shook him a little harder and he groaned.

 

"Harry?" I whined.

 

He rolled over and I noticed he wasn't wearing a shirt.

 

"What is it Lou? Is everything okay?" He asked, worry showing clearly in his eyes.

 

"Well I umm..." I looked down at my feet, because I couldn't find the right words to say.

 

Another lightning bolt struck and I jumped back at least three feet.

 

"Are you scared Lou?" I could practically feel him smirking.

 

"Maybe, could I..." I found myself unable to finish my sentence, but Harry knew what I was going to ask.

 

"Come on." He patted the spot next to him and I lay down beside him. I was a bit uncomfortable at first, but I soon relaxed and climbed under the navy blue duvet.

 

I shivered when I realized just how cold I was. I heard the faint rumble of thunder in the distance and a whimper escaped from my mouth. I silently cursed myself. Now Harry's going to think I'm a wimp.

 

"Lou?"

 

"Yeah Curly?" I tried to play off my whimper, but my voice was weak and gave me away.

 

I heard a light laugh and then an arm wrapped around my waist and my back was pressed against a very warm chest. I could feel Harry's breath on my neck and I shivered again. I didn't like it one bit. I especially didn't like the fact that he didn't have a shirt on. I just prayed he had pants on. After a while I started enjoying his warmth and how I felt secure in his arms. I could feel his chest rising and falling with each breath and it was soothing. Maybe I do like this. Oh the things he does to me.

 

"Why are you scared of thunderstorms?" His deep voice spoke into my ear barely above a whisper.

 

"Do you remember when I told you about my mum dying in a car crash and my dad dying from cancer?"

 

I felt his chin hit my shoulder and concluded that he was nodding his head. I held back a wince as he rested his chin on one of the bruises on my shoulder.

 

"Well both of those nights there was a thunderstorm outside, so every time there is a thunderstorm I think something bad is going to happen."

 

I felt Harry's arm tighten around me and I scooted backwards eliminating any space that was left between us. If I died right now, I would die happy.

 

I know some people might say that what we're doing is wrong, but I don't really care. Harry makes me feel like I matter, like I'm not worthless, so I will continue to cuddle with him until I fall asleep.

 

"Can I ask you something?" I whispered.

 

"Anything." Harry mumbled into my ear. I could tell he was tired, but I was dying to know.

 

"How are you always so happy?"

 

He didn't answer for a minute and I thought he had fallen asleep, but then he spoke deep and slow.

 

"I try to look at the good things in life. You should try it."

 

"Maybe I will." I said it more to myself than to him.

 

"Good, now can we go to sleep?"

 

I moved my leg and accidently brushed his. Oh god, he's not wearing pants.

 

"H-Harry? I you wearing pants?" My face reddened and I was glad it was dark.

 

"Just boxers." Again with that smirk. "Does that bother you?" He laughed.

 

Actually, it doesn’t for some reason. I decided not to answer.

 

I felt my eyes fall closed and I let myself fall into a dreamless sleep while wrapped in Harry's arms.


	11. Chapter 10

I snuggled deeper into my pillow, but it was harder than normal. I peeked one eye open and turned my head to see a mop of curly hair. I was lying on his chest and I could see that one arm was behind his head and the other was around me. His lips were parted slightly and he was snoring again.

 

I reached up to brush some curls out of Harry’s eyes, and snuggled back into his chest. He looked kind of cute while sleeping. I've thought about it and I admit that maybe I might have a teeny tiny crush on Him.

 

I tried to wiggle out of his grip to go to the bathroom, but his arm tightened around me.

 

"Don't leave me," He mumbled.

 

"I need to pee." I held back a laugh.

 

"Okay, but hurry back, I'll miss you."

 

I've heard of people being delusional when they're not fully awake, but Harry was just being crazy.

 

"Okay Curly." I smiled even though he couldn't see me, then got up to go to the bathroom when he released me.

 

When I came back Harry was sitting up staring at the wall. I thought that was a little strange, so I sat down on the bed next to him, but he didn't look away from the wall.

 

"Harry?" I raised my eyebrows.

 

He turned to look at me, and I noticed his eyes were glassy, as if he were about to cry.

 

"Harry what's wrong?" I was becoming a little worried when he didn't answer, but instead looked back at the wall.

 

"Harry?" I leaned my head in front of his so that he was looking at me. "Are you okay?"

 

A tear rolled down his cheek, so I used my thumb to wipe it away. His eyes had turned a light bluish color instead of the fascinating green they normally were.

 

"You can tell me." I whispered.

 

A choked sob came out of his mouth, and he literally fell into my lap. For a minute I just sat there, unsure of what to do.

 

Acting on instinct I reached out a hand to run it through his hair. It was soft and thick. It felt like silk as I twirled it around my fingers. He closed his eyes, but continued to cry.

 

I felt sorry for him, I always thought he was this strong lad, but here he is crying on my legs. He looked pitiful.

 

I pulled him up so that he was sitting on my lap rather than lying across it. He reacted by putting his arms around my neck and burying his face into my shoulder. I put my arms around him and rubbed his back while he soaked my shirt with warm tears.

 

"It's okay Harry. It's okay. Please stop crying. Please. It's going to be okay." I murmured.

 

I hate seeing people cry, especially people I care about. Wait I care about Harry? Of course I care about Harry, he's so nice and kind and he makes me laugh, and why am I thinking this? This is not the time to get lost in my thoughts!

 

Another sob emitted from his throat so I pulled him closer to me. He glanced up at me before laying his head back on my shoulder. Over the next thirty minutes he had finally calmed down enough to tell me what had upset him so much.

 

"Harry I'd understand if you didn't want to tell me, but what just happened?"

 

I want to know really badly, but I respect his privacy to much too push him into telling me something he doesn’t want to. He respects my boundaries, so I will respect his.

 

"No, I want to tell you, you've been completely honest with me, so I should be with you."

 

Well that's not entirely true. I haven't been completely honest with him. Now that I think about it I've lied to him a lot. There are too many lies in my life. Why can't life be simple, like a fairytale or something? Where's my happy ending?

 

I squeezed him to let him know he could continue. He looked back up at me with a sad expression and then I could have sworn he looked to my lips then back to my eyes again, before looking away hastily.

 

Maybe I imagined that. It's just a crush Louis! Get a hold of yourself!

 

"Well when my parents died I was sent to the first foster home, but they sent me back because they didn't like me. No one did, not even my own parents did before they died. They acted like they did, but my grandmother said otherwise, she didn't like me either." He sniffed.

 

I don't understand how anyone could not like Harry. He's an amazing person.

 

"Anyways the foster care people sent me to this next house, but again I was sent back, because they apparently thought I was crazy. I was just joking when I said that I could see dead people, but they didn't think it was funny."

 

Harry's face fell a bit. I shifted uncomfortably, and Harry lifted his head off of my shoulder before continuing with his story.

 

"Then I went to these people, I'll never forget that house. It was the worst one."

 

He closed his eyes and shuddered. I wanted to yell at him and say that I was at the worst house, but obviously I couldn't do that so I just nodded my head sympathetically.

 

"The man made me call him Mr. Smith." He kept his eyes closed as he spoke.

 

I tensed instantly at the name. Could it be the same guy?

 

"H-he used to hit me. If I didn't listen to him he'd lock me in a c-closet. He barely fed me, and I wasn't allowed to go anywhere except school. He made me f-feel so low, like I was a piece of t-trash that nobody cared about. Then one day I ran away. The f-foster people found me and brought me here. Mr. Smith th-threatened that if I t-told anyone about him then he'd f-find me and kill me, so I lied to them and said I j-just didn't like it there. It took a lot of begging, but they finally agreed to let m-me leave." He sobbed into my shirt again.

 

This has to be the same guy, but that means Harry knows what I'm going through. He knows! That's how he knows. It wasn't something I did to tip him off; he knew the signs, though I doubt he knows it's the same guy. It's not my fault! I did a happy dance in my mind.

 

"I haven't seen Mr. Smith since that day." He said quietly

 

Wow, someone's a lucky chap.

 

"Then this morning I dreamed that he was standing over me with a knife. All those memories came flooding back, and I couldn't control myself. I'm sorry."

 

"Don't be sorry, the things those people did to you were awful, but you shouldn't let that upset you anymore." I played with his curls again and he sighed.

 

"I always wondered why they didn't like me. I still wonder why people don't like me."

 

I cannot believe he just said that.

 

"I like you." I mentally slapped myself.

 

"Really? You don't hate me, even after everything that's happened between us?" He looked up at me with sad eyes.

 

"Of course not!" I scoffed. "How could I ever hate you?"

 

I smiled warmly at him, and he grinned back.

 

"Thanks Lou."

 

"No problem curly." I ruffled his hair and he leaned into my touch. "Now can we get something to eat? I'm starving!"

 

"Sure." Harry stood up and as the covers fell from around him I gasped.

 

He wasn't lying last night when he said he was only wearing boxers. He turned around and smirked.

 

"Like what you see?"

 

Back to his old self in the blink of an eye.

 

"Maybe." I shrugged then mentally slapped myself again. I really have to stop saying the first thing that comes to my mind.

 

He laughed and turned to his dresser to find something to wear.

 

I watched as his muscles flexed when he pulled open the drawer. For a sixteen year old he was really fit. He even had a light outline of abs, and his skin was perfectly tanned. He pulled on a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and then turned to me.

 

"You want something to wear?"

 

"You got any stripes?" I raised an eyebrow.

 

He dug through his drawers before throwing a red and white striped top at me along with some sweat pants that were way too big for me.

 

I gasped again as I saw his chest.

 

"You have four nipples!" I pointed at his chest.

 

He burst out laughing as I gawked at him.

 

"Yes I do." He chuckled pulling on his shirt. "So are you going to change or not?"

 

"Oh yeah." I stood up and started walking towards the door, but he stopped me by putting his hand on the door frame I was about to walk through.

 

"Where are you going?"

 

"To change." I said in a 'duh' voice.

 

"Just change in here." He shrugged.

 

"I like my privacy." I felt a lump in my throat. More lies.

 

"Come on Lou, I just changed in front of you, it's not that big of a deal." He sighed and his eyes looked sad again. "It's because I'm gay isn't it?"

 

Okay my heart just cracked or something. How could he blame himself for everything?

 

"No Harry that's not it I swear!" I took a step back and played with the hem of my shirt. "It's just that I'm not comfortable with my body." I mumbled.

 

That's partly true. I didn't want him seeing the bruises across my back and shoulders, or the scars on my wrists. I also didn't want him to see how skinny and malnourished I was.

 

"Louis you're beautiful." He removed his arm from the doorway.

 

He instantly had that 'oh shit' look on his face after he said that. I have that face quite a lot.

 

My heart fluttered at his words. He just said I was beautiful. Not worthless, ugly, or annoying. He said I was beautiful and that means the world to me. Of course I couldn't tell him that though.

 

I blushed and started playing with the hem of my shirt again, trying to decide what to say.

 

"If I change here then I need to tell you something firs., but you have to promise me, no swear to me, that you won't tell anyone."

 

"I swear." He whispered.

 

I let out a shaky breath and thought about how I was going to tell him about my abusive foster parents.

 

I cannot believe that I’m about to do this. I'm about to tell my deepest darkest secret to this kid who I met only two months ago. Why do I trust him so much?

 

What if he leaves once I tell him this? Will he be mad? I can't stand it when people pity me. I sure hope he doesn’t do that.

 

Most of my brain is screaming at me to stop, to just walk away. Walk away from my problems, that’s what I do. Then there's this little tiny part in the very back of my mind whispering 'Yes' Maybe I should listen to it. Maybe not.

 

I looked back at Harry. He was watching me intently.

 

"Promise me that once I say this, that you won't hate me, ignore me, or most importantly, stop being my best friend."

 

His eyes softened and he leaned forward to hug me. When he pulled back he held out his pinky. I took it in mine.

 

"I could never hate or ignore my best friend." He smiled softly and I pulled my pinky away.

 

Well here goes nothing. I'm throwing everything I've ever known out the window for this boy. This wonderful, understanding, caring boy who I have a slightly bigger crush on now. This whole gay thing could really work to my advantage if he doesn’t leave me after I say this.

 

"Well Harry-"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CLIFFHANGER!!! MWAHAHAHA!! >:D


	12. Chapter 11

"Well Harry, you see, I um, kind of…sort of, I-I" I couldn't seem to find the words.

 

Harry walked towards me and pulled me into a hug.

 

"Go downstairs and change." He whispered in my ear.

 

"But-"

 

"Look I can see that you don't want to tell me, and I'm not going to force you to." He smiled lightly.

 

"I'm sorry." I said in a small voice.

 

"Just go change." He laughed and gently pushed me out of the door.

 

I feel bad for not telling him, but I'm also relieved I didn't have to. Besides, I only have about three months left before my birthday.

 

I quickly changed and pulled on the beanie I saw laying on the counter. My hair looked awful.

 

When I walked out of the bathroom Harry was sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal, and there was another bowl across from him. I sat down and started eating the frosted flakes as he texted someone, not once acknowledging my presence. It felt like I was back at the Smith's house.

 

"Damn!" Harry stood up abruptly and slammed his phone down, causing be to jump back in shock.

 

"Shit. Shit. Shit." He mumbled under his breath.

 

I was reaching for my phone when I realized my hand was shaking. Harry turned around and glared at me. To say I was terrified would be an understatement.

 

"Get in the car." He growled.

 

I jumped up and followed him to his car. He slammed his door and I winced. He backed out of the drive and turned to me. I guess he saw me shaking, because he stopped the car.

 

"Are you okay?" He looked at me with concerned eyes, the anger suddenly fading away.

 

The only thing I could do was nod my head and avoid looking him in the eyes. I stared out the window as he started driving again. He kept glancing at me as we were driving. I had no idea where we were going, but I was afraid to ask.

 

"Zayn and Liam are in jail." He ran a hand through his hair.

 

"W-What? Why?" I hadn't expected my voice to be so small. I cleared my throat.

 

"I don't know, he said something about a football game." Harry shook his head.

 

We got to the prison and Harry walked inside with me close behind him. He walked up to the front desk and told them why he was there. They eventually led us to a cell down the hall where Liam and Zayn were.

 

"Harry!" They shouted together.

 

He just glared at them before pulling out his wallet and handing the officer a wad of cash. He signed a paper and the cell door was unlocked. Liam and Zayn both tackled Harry into a hug while I stood there awkwardly.

 

Is it wrong that I was a little jealous? Harry pushed them away, and I couldn't keep the smirk off my face.

 

"You guys are going to pay me back. Do you know how much you cost me?" He didn't give them a chance to answer. "Six hundred pounds! I was planning on buying Louis's birthday present with that!" He clapped a hand over his mouth and turned to me.

 

I was standing there wide eyed and my mouth was slightly open. He just had six hundred pounds in his wallet? His foster parents must be really rich. Birthday present? How did he even know when that was? I never-Darcy. I closed my mouth as Harry dropped his hand.

 

"Well it was supposed to be a surprise, but I guess it's not anymore." He sighed.

 

"We promise to pay you back as soon as we can." Liam nodded his head.

 

The police officer stepped in front of me and studied me with his eyes.

 

"I'd like to speak to you alone of that's okay sir." He spoke softly.

 

I realized I wasn't wearing a jacket and you could clearly see the bruises and cuts along my pale arms. I shivered and looked to Harry for help.

 

"I'm sorry, but we really need to be going officer, our mother is expecting us back in ten minutes." Harry lied smoothly.

 

The police officer said something to Harry that I couldn't hear, then he left us standing there.

 

"Shall we?" Liam gestured to the door and we all walked to Harry's car.

 

After we got in Harry started yelling at Liam and Zayn. I winced every time he said yelled. Finally, when I couldn't stand it any longer, I reached across the console and grabbed his arm. He looked at me and I could see the anger in his eyes.

 

"Please stop yelling." I whispered.

 

He sighed, and I dropped my hand onto the console. A few minutes of quiet passed, before Harry laid his hand on top of mine.

 

"I'm Sorry Lou."

 

I felt that weird burning sensation where our skin was touching and I wanted to pull away, but at the same time I never wanted it to end. I felt my cheeks heat up and looked at his large hand over my small one.

 

"It's okay." We smiled at each other, then he turned back to the road, but he didn't take his hand off of mine.

 

Maybe he forgot or something, but I wasn't complaining. Stupid crush.

 

Occasionally he would squeeze my hand, and I kind of liked it. I smiled to myself as I thought about the fact that he was gay. Is there a chance he could like me too?

 

As if he heard my thoughts he glanced over at me and smiled. I noticed he had a dimple on his left cheek. How cute. I grinned over at him.

 

What am I thinking? I can't be in a relationship right now, things are too complicated.

 

We were stopped at a stoplight and I didn't realize Harry was staring at me, I also forgot that Zayn and Liam were in the backseat.

 

It would be nice to have someone like Harry as a boyfriend. It would be great to have Someone to cuddle with, someone to eat cookies with, to spend my birthday with, or even Christmas, any holiday really, to have someone to kiss me, someone toloveme. Fuck it.

 

I leaned across the console and put my lips over his. My lips were on fire as his moved against mine in perfect harmony. This was more than a kiss, this was amazing. I was kissing Harry, and he was kissing back! I tilted my head and Harry's tongue traced my bottom lip. I gladly accepted it into my mouth and our tongues tangled together. His mouth was so hot and sticky, and god he smelt good. I've never had a kiss like this before. This kiss was wonderful, even better than I'd imagined.

 

"Uh, guys the light's green." Zayn cleared his throat.

 

I pulled my mouth away from Harry quickly, but Harry had my bottom lip between his teeth so it ended up hurting a lot more than I'd expected. Harry smirked before pulling forward. The rest of the way was silent. No one dared to say anything.

 

I was scared shitless. What did I just do? Why did I do that? On the bright side, he kissed back. That little voice was back again. Just go away! He probably regrets it.

 

I glanced at Harry. His lips were swollen, and his cheeks were a slight pink. I guessed I looked the same. I brought a hand up to my mouth and felt something wet. I looked down at my fingers and realized it was blood. I used the back of my hand to wipe the rest off, but it wouldn't stop bleeding. I decided to leave it alone until I got back to Harry's house.

 

When we pulled into the drive way Liam and Zayn ran to the house. I climbed out of the car, but as soon as I shut my door I was pushed up against it. I groaned in pain. I hit my bruised back, but I quickly forgot about my pain when a pair of lips was pressed to mine once again.

 

This time the kiss was softer, gentler, and more careful. His hands were on my shoulders, but he let them slide around my waist. I snaked mine around his neck.

 

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this." Harry's voice was raspy as he mumbled against my lips.

 

Our lips connected again and it sent shivers down my spine. I never felt this way while kissing a girl. Never.

 

After a while he pulled away and rested his forehead against mine. We were both breathing heavily, and he was smiling down at me. I pecked his lips and smiled back.

 

"Louis?"

 

"Hmm?" I hummed contently.

 

He bit his lip, and I had the urge to kiss him again.

 

"Will you be my boyfriend?" He looked away from my eyes.

 

My heart stopped, and I suddenly felt extremely hot, then my heart starting racing and I could only think of one word to say.

 

"Yes." I breathed.

 

We were both grinning like mad when my phone rang. I stepped away from Harry, but he grabbed the hand I wasn't holding my phone with.

 

I saw the caller ID and answered quickly.

 

"I'm on my way sir." I said calmly.

 

"You better get your arse back here, before I- just hurry up!" He snapped, then he hung up the phone.

 

"Sorry I've gotta go." I squeezed Harry’s hand.

 

Harry pulled me into his chest and hugged me tightly before opening my door for me. I got in and he went around and got in on his side. He took my hand again and linked our fingers together.

 

We drove in a comfortable silence back to my house. When he pulled up I leaned over and kissed his cheek.

 

"See you tomorrow Curly." I winked and climbed out of the car.

 

He made sure I was inside before driving away.

 

I smiled to myself. Harry is my boyfriend now, he's all mine.


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N You should listen to the song Kiss Me Slowly by Parachute it just fits Louis and Harry's situation perfectly; at least I think it does...LISTEN TO IT!!! :) That is all.

I stepped into the house and as always, was yelled at by Mr. Smith. One kick in the shin later and I was lying on my bed with my eyes closed. My back has been hurting the past few days; I think it's from sleeping on the floor. It wasn't long before I drifted off to sleep.

 

**

 

I must have slept a long time, because when I woke up it was 7 AM on Sunday morning. I rolled over in my bed and saw that Darcy was asleep on the pallet. I stood up and stretched quietly, trying not to wake her.

 

I winced as a sharp pain shot up my back when I lifted my arms. It was almost at the point where I could barely move. It was definitely worse than yesterday. I reached for my phone and texted Harry.

 

 

Louis: You awake?

 

 

Harry: Yeah? I'm surprised you are ;)

 

 

Louis: shut up:P we need to finish the wolf. Its due Monday

 

 

Harry: I'll be over to pick you up in about fifteen min.

 

 

Louis: Wait at the end of the street.

 

 

Harry: Why?

 

 

Louis: Please just do it *puppy dog eyes*

 

 

Harry: Fine *sighs in defeat*

 

 

Louis: Yay! Thanks Curly! *jumps up and down like a child*

 

 

Harry: You are a child...

 

 

Louis: Someone's grumpy this morning.

 

 

Harry: Eh…Whatever, I gotta go see you in a few minutes.

 

 

Louis: Bye Haz ;)

 

 

Harry: Haz? I like it :)

 

I put my phone down and changed into some old jeans and a plain white shirt. I pulled on Harry's Jack Wills hoodie and slipped my phone into the pocket. I put on my black vans and shook Darcy awake. She mumbled something then looked at me.

 

"I'm going to Harry's. I'll be back soon." I gave her a reassuring smile.

 

 

"Can I go?" She whimpered. "Last time you weren’t here Mr. Smith refused to feed us."

 

Anger boiled inside me. How could you not feed a little girl and Niall? I sighed loudly and pulled out my phone.

 

 

Louis: Can I bring Darcy? Is Jack home?

 

 

Harry: Yes and yes. Bring Niall too, we're going to grab some brunch with Liam and Zayn too, might as well bring Niall :)

 

 

Louis: Thanks!

 

 

"You can go, but get dressed he'll be here in a few minutes."

 

"Okay!" She jumped up and ran over to her side of the dresser and pulled out a simple pink t-shirt and some blue-jeans.

 

I knocked on Niall's door and he came out fully dressed in a grey t-shirt and black jeans, along with his white high tops.

 

"We're going to get lunch with Harry and some of his friends do you want to come?"

 

"Thanks." Niall nodded his head and smiled at me.

 

I made Darcy get a coat, and after we explained to Mr. Smith where we were going and got a threat, we walked down the street to Harry's waiting car. I noticed Liam and Zayn were in the back seat. Jack was sitting on Zayn's knee. I opened the passenger door and climbed in next to Harry. Niall got in beside Liam, and Darcy stood there with her arms crossed.

 

"Find someone’s lap to sit on." Harry chuckled.

 

"I'll sit on Louis's lap!" Before the words had been said she literally jumped onto my lap.

 

I gasped as the familiar pain shot up my back again.

 

"Darcy, could you sit on Niall's lap please."

 

She poked out her bottom lip and frowned at me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that everyone was staring at us.

 

"Why?" She pouted.

 

"My back just hurts a little, but if you promise to stay still you can stay." I tried to make her happy.

 

She nodded her head frantically, so I sighed and glanced at Harry.

 

"You alright?" He had concern in his eyes. It's nice to have someone who cares.

 

I bit my lip as Darcy squirmed on my lap, and my back pressed against the seat, but I nodded my head.

 

We drove to a place called Nando's. I've never been there.

 

"Oh my god this is my favorite restaurant!" Niall looked wide-eyed out of the window as we found a parking space.

 

We all laughed, well everyone except Harry. He just cut the engine and cleared his throat.

 

"You all go ahead; I need to talk to Louis." He kept his gaze on the steering wheel.

 

Worry flooded through my veins as I thought about what was happening. Did he regret kissing me? Was he going to say we shouldn't be friends anymore? What should I do?

 

Everyone exited the car, which left Harry and I sitting there in an awkward silence.

 

"Relax Lou; I just wanted to do this." Harry laughed.

 

Before I could ask what 'this' was he leaned over and pressed his lips to mine. I sighed into the kiss, feeling relieved. Before the kiss could get too heated, a wolf-whistle sent us springing back into our original positions. I was horrified to find everyone else standing just in front of the car.

 

Liam and Zayn were laughing while holding their phones out. Niall was looking over their shoulders laughing as well. I'll bet they either took a picture or worse, a video. Darcy was smirking and Jack just stood there with a confused look on his face.

 

I gulped and buried my face in my hands. I could practically feel the redness of my face. I had not meant for anyone to find out I was dating Harry. Not that I was ashamed of it or anything, it's just that whenever something good happens to me it always is taken away. I thought if I kept it a secret maybe it would last longer, but so much for that plan.

 

 

Harry grabbed my wrist and pulled it away from my face, as the others turned to walk back into the restaurant. I glanced over at him as my skin burned from the contact.

 

"Well, that was-" I started

 

"Who cares?" He cut me off by kissing me again.

 

I shrugged. He's right. Who the hell cares? I let myself get lost in the velvety softness of his lips and the minty flavor of his tongue, but I was careful not to twist my back to much. I pulled away breathless while his eyes searched mine.

 

"We should probably go in there." I smiled fondly.

 

"Yeah." He whispered.

 

I leaned back slowly, so as not to hurt my back, but of course I failed and pain shot up it again. I met Harry in front of the car and was utterly shocked when he took my hand and intertwined our fingers. He smiled and led me into the restaurant. It’s not that I was shocked that he was holding my hand; it’s just that I was shocked he was doing it in public. I thought for sure he wouldn’t want anyone to know he was dating a loser like me.

 

"Aww, would you look at that, two little homos on a date." Her voice hissed from nearby table.

 

Harry's head whipped around and glared at Eleanor and her friends.

 

"Don't you know when to shut the hell up?" He spat.

 

The icy coldness in his voice scared me, so I let go of his hand and walked over to where the others were seated. I could still clearly hear their conversation.

 

"Nope." She popped the 'p'.

 

"Well then you should really learn." Harry turned to stalk off, but she said something that stopped him in his tracks.

 

“Why do you even like him? He’s so…ugh!”

 

 

He whipped around to face her and balled his fists.

 

“Because, unlike you he’s kind. He always worries about other people when he should be worrying about himself. He talks in his sleep sometimes and he snores just a bit, but it’s adorable. He blushes so much, but it’s so cute. Everything about him is adorable, from his striped shirt to his red skinny jeans. He has these cute little crinkles by his eyes when he smiles or laughs, and when he laughs it’s contagious, but his smile sends butterflies to my stomach. His eyes are the bluest blue and I could stare at them all day long if he’d let me. His hair is messy, but still incredibly sexy, and he has these little light freckles on his cheeks that you can only see if you lean in real close. He’s a great kisser too. I love all the little things about him.”

 

He turned around and looked straight at me.

 

“I love you Lou.”

 

“I love you to.” I said before I had any second thoughts.

 

“Aww!” The people in the restaurant cooed at us.

 

He smiled and walked over to our table, leaning down to press a kiss on my cheek. I grinned back, blushing a bit.

 

We finished our meals and got back to Harry’s house. Jack and Darcy went to play in the yard and Zayn and Liam took Niall into Zayn’s room. I went up to Harry’s room and he came up soon after.

 

I was sitting awkwardly against the wall, trying not to put pressure on my back, but I made a wrong move a squeak escaped my lips.

 

“Does it still hurt?” Harry walked over to me and helped me stand up.

 

I bit my lip and nodded my head. I didn’t want him to know that I had been sleeping on the floor, because that would lead to more questions I didn’t want to answer.

 

“Take off the hoodie and lay face down on the bed.” Harry ordered.

 

I raised an eyebrow, but did as he said. I laid there for a moment, before I felt a weight on the bed, and then he straddles my hips and place his hands on my back.

 

I winced as he dug his thumbs into my shoulder blades, but the pain soon turned into relief. I moaned when he hit a particular sensitive spot. His hands were making my back feel so good, and I couldn’t stop the sighs and groans that were coming from my mouth. Harry just laughed quietly every time I made a particularly loud noise. When he finished he kissed my neck gently and lay down beside me.

 

I carefully rolled onto my side and was delighted when it didn’t hurt. I scooted backwards so that my back was against his chest and he put his arm around my waist, pulling me closer.

 

“You have magical fingers.” I mumbled sleepily.

 

Harry just laughed and kissed my temple.

 

“I know babe, go to sleep.” 

 

I had just woken up a little over two hours ago, but I guess the massage just made me sleepy, because within minutes I was asleep.


	14. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING** This chapter contains a major cliffhanger, (Read at your own risk)

"No, please! Hurt me instead!" I screamed.

 

 

"Shut up!" Mr. Smith spat in my face then turned back to torturing Darcy.

 

 

She was crying hysterically in the chair she was tied to. I tried to move, but my feet were frozen to the ground, literally. There were blocks of ice holding them to the ground.

 

 

"Darcy! Stop it! You sick bastard stop!" He held a blade to Darcy's neck and I tried frantically to get up.

 

 

I started thrashing around violently and screaming when Mr. Smith put his hands on my shoulders and started shaking me.

 

"Louis? Louis! Wake up! LOUIS!" He shook my shoulders roughly.

 

 

My eyes flew open and I tried to sit up, but my forehead hit something hard and I fell back, while groaning in pain.

 

"Ow! Shit!" Harry stood up from the bed and looked down at me while rubbing his forehead. I must have hit him. Oops.

 

"Darcy? Where's Darcy?" I looked around sitting up again.

 

"She's downstairs, calm down." Harry reached for me, but I jumped off the bed and didn't stop running until I saw Darcy sitting on the floor playing a board game with Jack. I sighed in relief, she was okay. It was just a dream.

 

I watched through from the doorway as she laughed. I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist, and warmth rushed through my blood as Harry rested his chin on my shoulder.

 

"Sorry about your head, I guess I shouldn't have leaned over someone who I was trying to wake up." He laughed.

 

I spun around to face him and he kissed my forehead and pulled me into a hug, before I could say anything. My forehead burned where his lips had touched and I had a fuzzy feeling in my chest.

 

"I'm sorry." My voice came out muffled against his shirt.

 

"Why do you keep apologizing? It's okay." He pulled away and pecked my lips.

 

"Sorry." Realizing what I said, I face palmed myself.

 

Harry laughed and grabbed my hand, pulling me into the garage. He pulled the paint off the shelf and set it next to the wolf. Then he handed me a paintbrush.

 

We talked and laughed while painting the wolf, and I had soon forgotten about my terrible dream.

 

I was painting the tail when something wet ran from my temple to my chin. I jumped and looked at Harry who was holding back a laugh. I moved my hand to the paint on my cheek and smiled.

 

I lunged at Harry and painted his nose and mouth white. His eyes went wide before he dipped his entire hand in the grey paint and flung it at me, getting it in my hair. I decided to return the favor and plunged my hand into the yellow. He was backing up and pleading with me not to do it, but I needed to get my revenge. His back hit the wall and I took my chance. I dug my paint covered hand into his curls and rubbed it around. He shrieked and shoved me away and I tripped over my feet, stumbling to the ground. I was laughing so hard I didn't notice Harry strattle me with a paint brush in his hand. He painted a huge black 'H' on my face and then a thick line across my mouth, getting the awful tasting pain in my mouth.

 

We were both laughing when I put my hands behind his neck and pulled him towards me. I stretched up and our lips met with a shower of sparks. His hands went to my waist and he smiled causing our teeth to clank together. I let him slip his tongue into my mouth, but quickly pushed him away when I tasted something bitter. I think he tasted it too because he made a weird face, then smirked at me.

 

"We made grey." He pointed at my mouth, and I could see his was grey as well.

 

I laughed so hard I fell back onto the ground clutching my stomach and Harry fell beside me laughing his arse off. When we had finally calmed down we finished painting the wolf and went back inside with large grins on our faces.

 

"Oh my gosh! What happened? No, never mind I don't want to know. Go upstairs and clean up." Jane shook her head as we climbed the steps to Harry's room.

 

We went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, both of us laughing as we saw what we looked like.

 

"I cannot believe you touched the curls." Harry was moving his hair around and frowning.

 

"I can't believe you painted and H on my face." I pointed out.

 

"H is for Harry, because you're mine and now everyone knows it." He gave me a dimpled grin and I almost wanted to jump on him and kiss the heck out of him.

 

I chuckled and shook out my hair, which had purple flecks in it.

 

Then a thought occurred to me. If I go home looking like this then I'll be in big trouble. I'll probably get a beating as well. I shivered.

 

Harry must've seen the look on my face because he handed me a towel.

 

"You can shower up here and borrow some of my clothes, I’m going to go shower downstairs." He closed the door and I heard him walking down the stairs.

 

I locked the door and peeled off my paint stained clothes. At least I hadn't been wearing Harry's hoodie. It's my favorite article of clothing, besides my stripes of course. I turned on the water and let it get hot before stepping under the hot stream of water.

 

I let it run across my back and shoulders before grabbing some of Harry's shampoo and squeezing it into the palm of my hand. I massaged it into my hair and rinsed it out. I noted that it smelt like strawberries. I smiled; he's so manly with his strawberry scented shampoo.

 

There was a small mirror on the wall with a razor and shaving cream in a little tray under it. For the first time in four years when I saw a sharp object I didn't want to run it across my skin and watch the crimson liquid run down my pale skin. I sighed happily and began scrubbing the paint off of my body.

 

I had been wearing bracelets so Harry couldn't see my scars, so I scrubbed them clean too. When I was finished I stepped out of the steamy shower and wrapped the towel around my waist.

 

"Harry?" I checked to make sure he wasn't in his room before coming out of the bathroom.

 

I picked up a red shirt and jeans and pulled them on. The clothes were too big, but they smelt like Harry and it was calming to me. I saw a beanie sitting in his chair and tugged it over my hair after drying it somewhat.

 

I sat down and spun around in his desk chair for a few minutes before Harry came up with a towel around his waist and his hair making him look like a baby Tarzan.

 

"You can play on my computer until I finish getting dressed." He pointed to his laptop, so I spun around and wiggled the mouse.

 

I heard his towel hit the floor, and I had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach at the thought of him being completely naked behind me. Okay that sounded wrong, forget I thought that.

 

I giggled when I saw that his screen saver was a little white kitten with big blue eyes playing with a ball of yarn.

 

"What's your password Haz?" I giggled again.

 

He stood beside me and leaned down to type. I watched his fingers and concluded that he had typed 'Molly'

 

He stood up and smiled down at my questioning gaze. My breath hitched when I saw that he was only wearing a pair of black Calvin Klein boxers. My eyes traveled down his body and I gawked at how his curls perfectly framed his face. Water was dripping from the necklaces around his neck. I've never realized just how sexy he is. Wait what? Why am I thinking this? This is wrong Louis!

 

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." He smirked, quoting me from when we were sitting in front of the fire.

 

I blushed and moved my eyes back to the screen. I felt two fingers underneath my chin and Harry leaned down to brush his lips against mine teasingly.

 

"Who's Molly?" I whispered against his lips.

 

He pecked my lips once more before rummaging through his drawers for pants and a shirt. He chose a tight fitting grey shirt and black skinny jeans. He walked back over to me and motioned for me to get up, so I did.

 

He sat down where I was just sitting and smiled. I crossed my arms and pouted, but he patted his lap and I slid onto it happily. He kissed my cheek and then clicked on an icon labeled 'Files.'

 

He clicked on a picture and blew it up so I could see it better. I smiled at the adorable sight in front of me. It was a younger version of Harry with a white cat in his lap asleep.

 

"That's Molly." He used the arm that wasn't wrapped around my waist to point at the cat.

 

I looked back at him and smiled as he continued.

 

"Mum and dad bought her for my second birthday and she was the only thing that survived the fire. I convinced the foster care agency to let me bring her with me to the houses, and she kept me from going completely insane."

 

I glanced back at the picture, and saw the huge smile on Harry's face. I felt proud knowing that I could make him smile like that too.

 

"She died two years ago when I was sixteen. This picture was taken a few days prior to that." He said sadly as his grip on my waist tightened. "This is going to sound stupid, but I even arranged a little funeral for her."

 

I saw his eyes glass over and I knew it was my turn to make him feel better. I looked deep into his eyes and said the first thing that came to mind.

 

"It's not stupid, it's sweet." I smiled and took his free hand, lacing our fingers together.

 

It was the truth, what he did was incredibly sweet and it melted my heart, knowing how caring he is.

 

"I've always had a soft spot for cats I guess." He shrugged and untangled his hand from mine.

 

I frowned, but it disappeared as he clicked on the camera icon at the bottom of his laptop screen.

 

A square popped up and I saw us sitting there. Harry clicked the red button and a timer counted down from three. We smiled as the picture was taken. For the next hour or so we just took random pictures and laughed about our silly expressions.

 

We were interrupted by my blackberry buzzing in my back pocket.

 

"Did you just...fart on me?" Harry raised an eyebrow laughing slightly.

 

"No, my phone vibrated I swear!" I blushed and stood up to check the message. How embarrassing.

 

From: Devil

 

You'd better get your arses back here this instant or there will be consequences! You've been out long enough!

 

I giggled at my name choice for Mr. Smith and turned to Harry.

 

"Can you take us home?"

 

"Yeah." He stood up and took my hand, leading me into Jack's room.

 

"Come on Darcy we're leaving." She said goodbye, then jumped up and followed us to Zayn's room.

 

We heard loud music coming from the other side of the door, so Harry stated banging on the door with his fist.

 

"Zayn! Open the damn door!" Harry shouted.

 

The door swung open and Zayn was standing there with an amused look on his face.

 

"Come to join the party?" He laughed.

 

"No we need Niall." I spoke up.

 

Zayn nodded and called Niall who came out looking like he had had the best time of his life. I smiled and we all walked to Harry's car. I turned on the radio and soon we were all singing to Katy Perry's "Part of Me."

 

I threw my head back and laughed as Harry did some crazy dance moves at a stoplight. The lady in the car next to us’ face was priceless.

 

When Harry pulled into our driveway Darcy and Niall started getting out. I turned down the radio and turned to face him.

 

"I had a lot of fun, thanks." I kissed him on the cheek.

 

"Me too, I love you."

 

"Love you too Haz." I smiled and followed Darcy and Niall to the door.

 

Harry backed out of the driveway and drove away while we walked inside. Mr. Smith was sitting on the couch eating popcorn while Mrs. Smith was in the kitchen making sandwiches.

 

"So who's your friend?" Mr. Smith laughed a cold, bitter laugh.

 

"That's none of your business." I said walking past him.

 

His hand shot out and grabbed my arm, and in that moment I knew I had said the absolute worst thing possible. Mr. Smith has to know everything or he gets very angry, so that comment is not going to help with the fact that Mrs. Smith just pointed out that I was wearing different clothes.

 

"Are Those your boyfriend's clothes?" He growled.

 

"Excuse me?" He couldn't possibly know that Harry and I were dating.

 

"I saw you two kiss, and he drove you home. Don't lie to me boy."

 

"Yes they're his." I stated proudly, crossing my arms over my chest.

 

I felt the sting as his hand made contact with my face. I don't know what made me do it. Maybe I finally snapped. Something in my brain clicked. Maybe it was the fact that Harry made me so happy, made me feel like I wasn't worthless, annoying, or ugly. I spun on my heel and slapped Mr. Smith across his fat, ugly face.

 

He sat there in shock for a few minutes, and I became aware of everyone's eyes trained on us, then he pounced on me.

 

I heard Darcy scream and Niall gasp. Mrs. Smith simply muttered words of encouragement to her husband.

 

A fist came down hard on my cheek and my neck cracked as my head turned to the floor. I saw that Niall was carrying Darcy up the stairs much to her dismay. I told Niall a while back that if anything bad happened to me to lock himself in a room with Darcy, and I was glad he listened to me.

 

Another blow to the stomach brought me back to reality; I used up all of my strength to push Mr. Smith off of me. I jumped on him and stated aiming punches at his face blindly. If I was going to die anyways I might as well hurt him like he's hurt me for the past five years.

 

I was flung backwards onto the ground as Mrs. Smith kicked me in the side hard sending me rolling onto my other side. I scrambled up from the floor and kicked Mr. Smith in the crotch. He bent over and I kicked his arse, then he fell over, face planting on the floor. I watched as the blood poured from his nose. The next thing I knew I was face first on the ground with someone sitting on my back holding down my arms and legs to the floor. I heard Mrs. Smith's shrill voice call out to her husband as she struggled to pin me down.

 

I heard Mr. Smith run into the kitchen and come back hovering above me. Mrs. Smith dug her nails into my arm, but I didn't stop squirming. I saw the light reflecting on the large knife in Mr. Smith's hand and panic flooded through me.

 

I felt my entire arm go numb as he dug the blade into my skin. He was writing something. I yelled in pain as he finished the 'F'. I got one leg free just as he finished the 'A', but by the time I had kicked Mrs. Smith off of me he had done a 'G'

 

I looked down at the word now permanently carved into my skin. 'FAG.'

 

If I hadn't lost it before, then I did right then. I ran forward causing Mr. Smith to fall to the floor in surprise. The knife clattered to the floor a few feet away from us and I scrambled to grab it. I knew there was only one way for me to get out of this alive, and it wouldn't even guarantee my survival.

 

I brought down the knife on Mr. Smith's left side as something hard hit my head and I rolled off of him, wincing as my head throbbed.

 

He cursed loudly and put his hands over the wound, but the blood was streaming down his fancy clothes and through his chubby fingers. I smirked. He kicked my head this time and I closed my eyes to make him believe I had passed out.

 

"Get in the car; we need to get you to a hospital quickly!" Mrs. Smith shouted. "We can deal with him when we get back." He kicked my side once again, and I bit my lip to hold back the scream I wanted to let out so badly as pain coursed through my body.

 

As soon as the door shut I opened my eyes and let the tears fall. Some were from the pain, but most of them were because I was afraid. I was afraid of Mr. Smith coming back, I was afraid of Darcy being alone with him once I was dead, I was afraid of Darcy seeing me like this, I was afraid I would never see Harry again. Harry.

 

The room started spinning and I heard the faint sound of someone shouting. Everything sounded like I was underwater and I was freezing but sweating at the same time. I was fighting to keep consciousness, and I could barely breathe.

 

Someone knelt down beside me and I could pick up the familiar green eyes, but that was it. My vision was becoming more and more blurred by the second. I couldn't hear what Harry was saying, but just knowing he was there made me relax, then my entire world turned into the darkest black I had ever seen.


	15. Chapter 14

Harry's POV

 

I watched as Louis climbed out of my car, then walked into the house behind Darcy and Niall. Damn, that boy has a fine ass. I snapped out of my perverted thoughts as he waved goodbye to me. I smiled over my shoulder at him as I pulled away from his house.

 

I had a weird feeling telling me to go back. It was shouting 'don't leave', and 'something’s not right' but I ignored it and kept driving. My thoughts have been wild lately anyways. It's probably nothing.

 

I've noticed that Louis's been kind of distant lately. I'll catch him in a daze at least once a day if not more. I've become accustomed to that, but this past week it's gotten worse and it happens more often. I hate that he doesn’t trust me. I can tell he's keeping things from me, he's a horrible liar. He never looks me in the eye when he's lying so I always know if he's telling the truth or not. Most of the time he's not.

 

I pulled up at my house and ran up to my room. When I reached my piano I sat down and played the familiar keys. I glanced up at the sheets of music and sang what I had written so far.

 

I've always loved music, and I've recently started writing it as well. I added a few more verses, changed a few notes, and sang what I had, before I took a break.

 

I sorted out my music and picked up my phone, seeing that I had one missed call, from an unknown number. I shrugged and decided to text Louis.

 

Harry: Hey babe ;)

 

I waited for a few minutes, but no response came from him. I sighed deeply and placed my hands back on the keys. Just as I played the first note my phone rang again with the unknown number flashing on the screen.

 

I hit the green button and put it to my ear.

 

"Hello?" I answered in a bored tone.

 

"Harry, please help." I heard a little girl sob from the other side of the phone.

 

"Darcy? Is that you?"

 

"Yes, please hurry." She whispered.

 

I could hear a lot of noise in the background and lots of screaming. Then everything got quiet, and I heard what sounded like someone running down the stairs.

 

"What is it? What's wrong?" I jumped up already pulling on my shoes and jacket.

 

Her answer sent a chill down my spine and urged me to sprint for my car. I'm pretty sure I was driving way over the speed limit, but her words were echoing in my head over and over again. She had screamed so loud and it was high pitched, like a panic scream. But it wasn't the scream itself that was haunting me, it was what she screamed. 'Louis!' She must have dropped the phone after that because I could still hear her screaming at Louis, asking if he was okay, calling for Niall, for me, for anybody. I could hear her sobbing loudly, and that is how I ended up back at Louis's house a lot faster than usual.

 

I jumped out of the car, not bothering to close my door, then ran to the front door. It was unlocked so I ran right in, but what I saw made my heart completely shatter into a thousand tiny little pieces. It made my chest ache and my head hurt, my stomach turned over and I felt like I was going to vomit. The pale figure lying in a pool of blood, motionless on the floor made my heart stop.

 

I dropped to my knees beside him and cradled his face with my hands. I got blood on myself, but I didn't care. I stared into Louis's eyes that were no longer blue, just a dull, lifeless grey. He looked into my eyes before sighing and closing his eyes. I shook him lightly, but increased my force when his eyes didn't open.

 

"I called the ambulance." Niall came into the room panting.

 

He stood back while I ran my thumbs over Louis's cheeks. I felt a small hand on my arm and turned to see Darcy sitting next to me.

 

"Is he going to be okay?" She whispered, almost pleading with me to do something.

 

There was nothing I could do but wait for the ambulance to come. I hoped he would be okay, but things didn't look good and I didn't want to give her false hope, so I carefully pulled her onto my lap and hugged her tightly. I glanced up at Niall who had tear tracks running down from his blue eyes, he was running a hand through his hair and texting someone with the other.

 

"Who did this?" I whispered quietly.

 

"Mr. Smith." Darcy shuddered in my arms and I tensed.

 

Could it possibly be the same Mr. Smith? The same one I lived with a long time ago? Well, obviously it is, seeing as Louis is unconscious before me, but oddly enough Mr. Smith is nowhere to be found. I looked over my shoulder to make sure he wasn't about to hurt us all too. If he was here I would probably end up killing him in one way or another for doing this to Louis.

 

I let out a silent sob as my gaze fell down to Louis. I heard the sirens getting louder, so I stood up, still holding Darcy. She wrapped her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. She laid her head on my shoulder and continued to cry, as I handed her to Niall and opened the door.

 

"Niall, I need you to call Liam. Tell him I said to drive you and Darcy to the hospital; I'm going to ride in the ambulance with him." I nodded my head towards Louis.

 

I knelt down by Louis again and took his hand in mine, clutching it until my knuckles were white. I wasn't aware of the medics around me as they pulled me back and lifted Louis onto a stretcher, rushing him to the ambulance.

 

I went after them and looked questioningly at the doctor, before he smiled sadly.

 

"I'm sorry, but only family members are allowed to ride with the patients."

 

"Please, His real parents are dead, and his foster dad tried to kill him. I'm his boyfriend. Please." I was becoming desperate already.

 

He sighed and waved his hand, motioning for me to get in. I quickly climbed in and took Louis's hand again as the doors were shut and the van lurched forward. I stared down at Louis and watched his slow breathing. At least he's alive.

 

The doctors had pressed an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, and some sticky things on his chest to monitor his heartbeat. He looked so small and fragile, like if I squeezed his hand any harder it would crumble. I listened to the beat of his heart like a lullaby.

 

The doors suddenly swung open and Louis was lifted out once again, while I ran behind them. They turned into a room labeled. 'Surgery' and one of the doctors grabbed me by my shoulders, then shook me softly.

 

"I'm sorry, but you can't go in there son." I opened my mouth to protest, but he cut me off. "He will be okay, I promise."

 

His words relieved me a little, but not much. I nodded my head and dragged my feet as I walked over to a chair in the waiting room. I pulled out my phone and saw that Liam had texted me a while ago.

 

Liam: We're on our way, are you okay?

 

 

Harry: No.

 

I'm not okay. I won't be until Louis comes out of surgery and tells me that he's alright. Until then I'll be sitting here waiting not at all patiently.

 

A few minutes passed, and I watched as a pregnant woman came in, some guy who had been shot, and another who was coughing up blood. I resorted to putting in my earphones and closing my eyes. I've never liked to see people in pain. I guess that's what drew me to Louis. I could tell there was something more to him than that he simply didn't like people. That was all just a big lie. I now could see the real reason he didn’t like people.

 

I pushed the thought of Mr. Smith hitting Louis to the back of my mind, as an involuntary shiver ran down my back. I shouldn't have let this happen, I could have prevented it. I felt anger towards Louis for not telling me, but pitied him because he couldn't protect himself well enough.

 

I felt someone tap my shoulder, so I opened my eyes and pulled out my earphones. A pretty nurse with long curly brown hair was staring at me with sad brown eyes much like Liam's.

 

"Are you Harry Styles?" I nodded my head and she continued talking. "I'm nurse Peazer, but you can call me Danielle."

 

I tried to smile, but it was impossible knowing that Louis was in that room being cut open and stitched closed.

 

"Your friend Louis Tomlinson has suffered some serious injuries." She said gently.

 

I stared with wide eyes as she named off the various injuries he had obtained, and there were a lot.

 

"His left wrist is fractured, his right ankle is broken, two of his ribs are broken, he has deep cuts in his right arm spelling out a very nasty word, old and new bruising all along the stomach and back, he also has some scaring on his wrists which leads us to believe that he cuts, or used to anyway, there are no recent cuts. Do you know how any of this happened to him Mr. Styles?"

 

I was frozen to my seat. It felt like someone had just dropped a ton of bricks on me and the air was knocked out of me. I stared up at her with wide eyes, as I ran over what she just said in my head.

 

"His foster dad did this; he abuses all of the kids he takes in. Louis was there for almost five years." I said breathlessly.

 

The realization dawned on me that Louis had suffered this cruel treatment for five years and a new wave of sobs were brought on. I had no idea that Louis cut, I should have realized it. Why didn't I do something? Anything? I could have helped him? But you did help him. Do you ever just want to punch that little voice in the back of your head? I do.

 

"I know what you're thinking." Danielle placed a hand on his knee and I looked up at her with teary eyes. "It's not your fault you know? We're going to catch his foster parents and put them in jail for a long time, okay?" With that she stood up and walked down the hall.

 

I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them, hiding my face. I felt a hand rubbing circles on my back, and Liam's soothing voice.

 

"Harry? It's going to be okay. What did the nurse say?"

 

I told them what the nurse said, but by the time I finished I was exhausted.

 

"Well, at least he'll be okay soon." Zayn sat in the chair next to mine as I shook my head.

 

"No. He won't. He's going to be even more upset and distant than before. He'll probably try to push me away again."

 

"He's right you know." Darcy squeaked from behind Niall.

 

Everyone's gazes directed to her as she walked over and sat on the other side of me.

 

"I thought he was finally going to be happy when he met you Harry, and he was, but then I noticed he was getting angrier with Mr. Smith every day. Louis used to just take the beatings, but then he started talking back, and then today he slapped Mr. Smith. He'd never done that before he met you"

 

Her words were like a stab to my broken heart. It was as if she was saying 'It's all you fault.'

 

We sat in silence for another thirty minutes until Danielle came back with a blonde woman wearing a black pencil skirt, white blouse, black blazer, and black high heels. She was too formally dressed to be working in the hospital.

 

"I have good news and bad news. The good news is that we found Mr. Smith."

 

Darcy sighed, but I waited with baited breath for the bad news. The bad news always makes the good news less good.

 

"The bad news is that he's here." She frowned.

 

I jumped up and balled my fists at my sides, stepping forward in anger.

 

"Where? I'm gonna kick his ass so hard he'll have to clear his throat before he farts!" I shouted angrily.

 

I started forward but three pairs of hands shot out and grabbed me pushing me back into my seat. Liam, Niall, and Zayn all removed their hands, but stood near me in case I decided to lose it again.

 

"Calm down Mr. Styles. He just came out of surgery."

 

We all looked at her with confusion written across our faces.

 

"His wife said that, and I quote, 'One of our foster kids stabbed my husband for no reason at all.' Obviously he was lying. So apparently Louis stabbed Mr. Smith, I believe that was the man's name, in the side, then he came here. He was not going to take Mr. Tomlinson to a hospital correct? You ended up having to call an ambulance."

 

"Yeah, Niall called the ambulance." I said weakly.

 

I almost smiled at the thought of Louis giving that guy what he deserved. Almost.

 

"Niall Horan?" The other lady asked.

 

Her blonde hair was pulled into a tight bun and her blue eyes darted to Darcy who had repositioned herself on my lap.

 

"That's me." Niall spoke up.

 

"And would this be Darcy Johnson?" She gestured to the girl now sitting in my lap.

 

"Yeah." Darcy looked over her with skeptical eyes.

 

"Okay good you're all here. I'd like to speak to Niall and Darcy alone please."

 

Niall followed her, but Darcy stayed put on my lap, poking out her bottom lip.

 

"I'm not going anywhere unless Harry goes." She crossed her arms and I stood up, setting her on her feet.

 

"He can come; it wouldn't hurt to have his opinion too."

 

What opinion? Who was this woman? Why did they have to be alone with her? What did she want? What does she have to do with this? What about Louis? I have so many questions, but not one answer.

 

Darcy grabbed my hand and pulled me with her while they followed the lady into a room with a couch and a desk with a few chairs. They sat on the couch, while the lady sat behind the desk and pulled out a notepad and a pen.

 

"Hi, I'm Mrs. Edwards, but feel free to call me Perrie. I work with the UK foster agency or the UKFA and have been sent here to find information on the Smith case. Every couple of years a kid will come from there and complain about being hit, while others swear nothing happened to them. After seeing what has happened here today we now know that those few kids weren't lying about being abused."

 

Darcy gripped my hand harder and Niall shifted uncomfortably as her eyes scanned over us.

 

"Now Mr. Styles, I understand that you were in Mr. Smith's care eight years ago when you were nine yes?"

 

My mouth was too dry to speak so I just nodded as Darcy and Niall's heads turned to me in shock.

 

"Did he ever hurt you in any way Mr. Styles? Is that why you ran away from there? Did he hit you?"

 

"Yes." I gulped. "He used to slap me, but that was it. He told me never to tell anyone or he'd find me and kill me."

 

I shook my head to rid it of those awful memories. The more we talked about it the more I felt bad for Louis. I realized she was writing down what we were saying on her notepad.

 

"Niall, you've been there for about three months now, did he ever harm you?"

 

"Only once, it was the first night, when he pinned my arm behind my back and threatened me like he did Harry. He said if I ever told anyone what I saw or what happened there he'd make my life miserable. When I came upstairs about to cry Louis told me that it happens to all the new kids, and that I just needed to relax. He's protected me the entire time I've been there."

 

I tensed up at his name being mentioned and Darcy let go of my hand and ran up to the desk.

 

"Louis protects us all! Whenever Mr. Smith was mad at one of us he would show up and make Mr. Smith mad at him instead. Then he'd tell us to go upstairs."

 

Perrie was writing quickly and watching Darcy at the same time as she ranted.

 

"I forgot to bring my bowl to the sink one day and Mr. Smith started yelling at me and just as he was coming after me, Louis knocked his bowl onto the floor, and it broke. I ran upstairs as I heard Mr. Smith yelling at him. When Louis finally came into his room, that I had to share with him, he had a black eye." She shifted her feet before sitting back down, but continuing with her little outburst

 

"Louis told me whenever Mr. Smith got angry to take Darcy upstairs and lock ourselves in a room. That's what I did today. Louis didn't deserve the pain and the beatings, but he took it so we wouldn't have to." Niall said quietly.

 

I honestly felt like passing out. Is this real? I had no idea it was this bad. Now I really feel bad.

 

"I was home early one day, and when I walked into our room Louis was in the bathroom holding a knife over his wrist. I could see the blood running down his arm, but after he put a bandage on it he told me it was an accident. Was it really an accident?" Darcy whispered the last part with a tear in her eye.

 

I reached over and pulled her into a bone-crushing hug. Of course it wasn't an accident, he was cutting. A new feeling came over me as I hugged Darcy tightly. Guilt. Perrie didn't answer, she just smiled sadly.

 

"I'm very sorry that you've all had to live with this and I assure you that you won't have to go back there ever again. You may leave now. Thank you for your time, and give Louis my best wishes. He's a brave one." She smiled, and I managed to return it as we walked out of the room.

 

We sat in the waiting room for another half-hour before Danielle came over to us once again.

 

"Mr. Tomlinson is in room 314 on the third floor." She smiled brightly then left.

 

I put my head in my hands and tried to find the words to say, but nothing came to my mind. I walked silently to room 314 with Darcy, Liam, Niall, and Zayn trailing behind me, they were quiet as well.

 

As I reached for the door handle Liam put his hand on my shoulder pulling me around to face him. He had dry tear stains on his face, but he wasn't crying at the moment.

 

"Let's come back tomorrow. Visiting hours are almost over, and you're an emotional wreck."

 

I knew what he was saying was the truth, but I also knew that I was only going to be worse if I didn't see Louis right then. I just needed to make sure he was there. I needed to know this wasn't some kind of sick joke.

 

"I just need to see him once, then we can go." My voice was raspy from how much I had cried in a short amount of time.

 

I opened the door and peered inside.

 

Louis was lying on the small white hospital bed, his fringe hovering slightly over his closed eyes. There was an IV in his arm and a heart monitor was beeping beside the bed. His skin was almost as white as the bandages that were around his arm, where that horrible word was written. There was a brace on his wrist and one of his legs was suspended slightly above the bed with a tan wrap around it. His face was no longer bloody, but you could see the bruises on his cheek, above his eye, and right under his jaw.

 

I leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Without another word I turned around and walked past Liam, Zayn, Niall, and Darcy towards the parking lot.


	16. Chapter 15

Harry's POV

 

The ride home was awkward and silent. I stared out the window blocking out everything around me. Niall and Liam were talking quietly about something. Zayn was driving and would glance in the mirror at me every once in a while, but I pretended not to notice. Darcy couldn't sit still if she tried. The foster care agency had agreed to let Niall and Darcy stay with us until everything was sorted out. It helped that our parents were foster parents too. They were one of the top choices for foster parents if there house wasn’t already full.

 

When we pulled into the driveway I ran to my room and locked the door before sitting down at my piano. I closed my eyes and let my fingers play the familiar tune I knew so well. I don't know how long I sat there, but when I was finally satisfied with my song the sun was just coming up over the horizon and the sky was a pretty light pink with hints of yellow and purple.

 

I played the finished song one last time and put it inside a folder, then hid it under my bed by my guitar case. I decided to take a shower to pass the time. I wouldn't be able to see Louis for another three hours anyway.

 

I stripped down and stepped into the shower then began washing my curls with my strawberry shampoo. After that I washed my body and stepped out of the warm shower, a wave of ice cold air hitting me. I grabbed a towel from under the sink and wrapped it around my waist as I brushed my teeth. I dried off and walked back into my room completely naked. I really don't have a problem with being naked, but it bothers some people so I only do it when I'm alone.

 

I picked out a simple dark green shirt that complemented my eyes and black skinny jeans that made my legs look really small. I've always been insecure about my weight, but ever since I met Louis I haven't worried about it as much. I tugged a black beanie over my wet curls and put my necklaces back on. I checked the time and was disappointed.

 

I still had two hours left before I could go see him. I shrugged and bounded down the stairs loudly, not caring that it was six AM and that everyone was probably still asleep, everyone except Zayn that is. He has to get up super early so he has time to get ready for school. Believe it or not, it actually takes him a full hour and a half to get ready. Liam only takes like twenty minutes so he sleeps in. I don't know if they are going to school or not, considering the circumstances.

 

I pulled a box of cereal out of the cabinet and made myself a small bowl. I wasn't that hungry, I was just trying to pass the time. I ate slowly and tried not to think about Louis, but of course that didn't work.

 

I kept worrying that he'd wake up and I wouldn't be there to comfort him. I was scared he wasn't going to talk to me now. I worked so hard to get him to open up to me, and just when everything was going alright this had to happen. Why to Louis, I don't know. From what I know and from what I've heard he's the sweetest person there is. Darcy adores him, Niall speaks highly of him, Liam and Zayn think he's a cool guy, and I love him to death.

 

I carried my bowl to the sink and dumped what was left down the drain; I only ended up eating about two spoon fulls. I went back up the stairs to my room and checked my phone. An hour and a half left.

 

Since I was bored I went to see if Zayn and Liam were going to school. As soon as I turned the corner I heard Zayn's hair dryer on full blast. Well that answers that question.

 

I knocked once before opening the door and stepping inside the steamy bathroom. Obviously he had just taken a shower.

 

"Are you alright mate; you look like you haven't slept in days." Zayn looked concerned.

 

"Why must everyone ask if I'm okay? I. Am. Fine." I sighed to show that I was frustrated.

 

"Sorry bro, you just look kind of down in the dumps." Zayn shrugged and switched off his hair dryer, reaching for his hair gel.

 

"Gee, I wonder why." I said sarcastically.

 

I don't know where this bitterness is coming from. I'm never mad or anything. I try to keep a smile on my face most of the time, but this isn't like most times I reminded myself. Things have changed and I'm not sure if it's for the best or worst.

 

It’s good because now Louis doesn’t have to live with that monster anymore, but it’s bad because he’s in the hospital right now.

 

"Sorry, I uh...wait, why are you here?" He raised an eyebrow as he ran his fingers through his dark hair.

 

"Are you guys going to school?" I cocked my head to the side.

 

"Yeah, and we'll take Niall and Darcy too, the UKFA wanted them to go to school today."

 

"Okay." I was kind of glad about that. I wanted some alone time with Louis when he woke up.

 

Zayn was busy straightening out his quiff so I silently slipped out of him and Liam’s shared bathroom and went back into the kitchen grabbing a water bottle.

 

When I got back to my room I still had an hour left. I buried my face into the pillows on my bed in frustration.

 

"Why does time have to be so slow?" I mumbled into my pillow.

 

Even though I hadn't slept in a while I wasn't tired. I don't think I will be until I see Louis again. I hope he misses me as much as I miss him. If that's even possible. You're pathetic. I really am, it hasn't even been a whole day and I already miss him.

 

I pulled out my phone and started playing pointless games like Angry Birds, Temple Run, and Cut the Rope while the minutes ticked by ever so slowly.

 

When there was still thirty minutes I couldn't take it anymore so I grabbed my keys and was walking to my car when Darcy called out my name.

 

"What?" I spun around to face her.

 

"Come here." She motioned towards herself, so I grudgingly walked in front of her and squatted down to her height.

 

She cupped her hands around her mouth and leaned in so that my ear was surrounded by her tiny hands.

 

"Take good care of Louis. He really loves you." She whispered.

 

I don't think my heart can take much more of this emotions stuff. In the last 24 hours it has broken a hundred times, hurt like crazy and melted at least once.

 

"I will. I really love him too." I nodded and smiled at her, while standing up from my squatting position.

 

"Thank you." She mouthed.

 

"Aww!" I turned around to see Liam, Niall, and Zayn all smiling at me.

 

"Shut up." I laughed.

 

"Go on lover boy, visiting hours start in fifteen minutes." Liam chuckled.

 

I stuck my tongue out at him as I walked out the front door.

 

The ride there was ten times worse than the three hours I had to wait. I managed to hit just about every red light, and got behind some grandma who didn't know how to drive. When I finally made it to the hospital I practically ran to the front desk.

 

"I'm here to see Louis Tomlinson." I panted.

 

"Are you a family member?" She asked in a bored tone.

 

"No I'm his boyfriend." I frowned. Shouldn't the doctors have informed her about this already?

 

"Sorry, but only-"

 

"His parents are dead, and his foster parents are the reason he's here, so if you would be so kind as to give me a pass to get into his room I would be very grateful." I smiled sweetly, denying the sassiness in my voice.

 

"Here you go. I'm sorry-"

 

I didn't hear the rest of her sentence; I was already rushing to his room. I remembered it was on the third floor so I got into the elevator and punched the white number three and waited for it to ding, signaling that I was on the third floor.

 

I reached Louis's room and turned the handle. I guess I should have knocked first, because the sight I saw had my heart sinking to my feet. Like I said, this is just too much emotion for me to handle at the moment. I slammed the door closed and slid down against the wall outside of his room. The tears started falling and there was nothing I could do to stop them. I just sat there and sobbed, because my heart was almost physically hurting my chest. I felt like if I moved it was going to burst. As if it hadn't been damaged enough, then I walk in there and see that. Why does the world hate me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Mwahahahaha cliffhanger!!! I love cliffhangers but you guys don't so I'm sorry. 
> 
> -Claire xoxo


	17. Chapter 16

Louis's POV

I woke up to a woman’s voice speaking to someone far away. When I managed to get my eyes open I saw that they were actually only a few feet away from my bed, a nurse and a doctor to be exact. So I hadn’t dreamt the whole thing, Mr. Smith had actually tried to kill me. I'm lucky to be alive.

A terrible thought struck me and I sat up quickly sending a stinging pain down my ribcage. The nurse turned to me with wide eyes and walked over quickly pushing me back down on the bed.

She told me to lie down and what had all happened to me. It's funny, I don't remember getting hurt that badly, I guess it was the adrenaline rush blocking out the pain. She increased the medicine going into my I.V. and checked my vital signs.

"Where are Darcy, Niall, and Harry?" I asked her sweetly.

Maybe I had imagined Harry’s sad green eyes pleading with me to stay awake. That would make more sense. I sighed as she answered me.

"Darcy and Niall are staying with Harry for a few days so the UKFA can get everything sorted out and under control. Harry was here last night, but had to leave when visiting hours ended, so he'll probably be back in a little while if I had to guess. He was really upset that you were hurt." She smiled sympathetically down at me.

He was upset? Is it wrong that I'm happy about that? I'm still getting used to this whole caring thing.

"Now there are a few problems we need to address concerning you. I need you to be completely honest with me Louis." She gave me a stern look, basically implying that I wasn’t supposed to lie.

I nodded my head to show that I understood. I already knew what she was going to say, rather ask, but that doesn’t mean I was prepared to answer it.

"How long have you cut your wrists and why?" Well that was blunt.

"I started about a year after going to the Smiths' house. I guess I just felt worthless, and I don't know, it was like an escape for me, but I haven't done it in two months." I smiled proudly, but she frowned.

"The bruising on your back, how did that happen?"

"Umm...I, uh...Mr. Smith pushed me down the stairs, into walls, tables and anything else that was around." I shrugged, but regretted it as my broken body ached once again.

"Okay, now we are just going to put some ointment on it that will help it heal faster. Is that alright?"

"Okay." I glanced nervously at the black tube in her hand.

She helped me sit up and I slid my hospital gown down to my hips, luckily they had left me in my boxers so I wasn't completely naked. I was facing the window, with my back to the door. There was a full length mirror to my left and I could clearly see the black and purple bruises that covered my entire body. It made me sick looking at it. I was ugly enough before.

I noticed the mangled remains of my phone lying on the table next to the desk. I vaguely remember a crunching noise when Mr. Smith pushed me down. I guess that's what it was.

I gasped when something cold made contact with my back expectantly. The nurse giggled and apologized before continuing to massage the white stuff on my bruises. It felt good for the most part. I was faintly aware of the door opening, but figured it was just another doctor and didn't bother turning around, but what I did notice was a whimper and the door slam shut. I looked to the nurse for an explanation, but she was already washing her hands and heading towards the door with a worried look on her face.

To say I was confused would be an understatement. I looked into the mirror again and sighed. Looks like I'll be wearing long sleeve shirts and pants for a while. Good thing it's winter. Only thirty two days until my birthday, then I could leave this life behind and start over. Wait, leave? I can't leave Harry. Oh God, what am I going to do? While I was having an internal battle with myself the nurse led a shaking and slightly sobbing Harry back into the room.

"Lou?" He croaked.

My head snapped around and I scrambled blindly to pull my gown back up although it was no use, you could still see the bruises on my arms and legs. I stared in fear at him as he clenched his fists at his sides. This was it. He was going to be so mad at me for not telling him, maybe I wouldn't have to worry about leaving him, because it looked like he was about to leave me.

"Yeah?" I croaked. That's the best you can come up with? Idiot!

"Yeah? That's all you have to say?" His voice had risen slightly and the nurse had left the room, which I hated, because now no one was there to protect me.

"You could have told me! I told you my secrets, I trusted you, but you couldn't even put one ounce of trust in me huh? I could have helped you, then maybe we wouldn't be here now! You wouldn't be lying in that hospital bed shaking in fear that I'm going to hit you!"

I flinched at his words, and tried to say something, but my mouth was bone-dry and my lips couldn't form a single syllable. Harry took a step closer, so I scooted to the far side of the bed. He lowered his voice.

"I'm not. I could never hurt you even if I wanted to, which I don't. I'm just upset that after everything we've been through that you still don't trust me. I'm sorry." He sat on the edge of my bed, but I stayed put staring at him, not knowing what to say.

"Please say something." He whispered while his emerald eyes bored into mine.

This broke me out of my trance, and my thoughts started turning in my head.

"I-I...It's just, umm, well you see, it's not easy for me t-to trust people. People have lied to me my whole l-life." I stuttered while avoiding his intense gaze.

Before I knew it I was being pulled into a bear hug. Harry was careful so that I wasn't in pain because of my injuries, but he was squeezing me as if this was the last time he was going to see me.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so sorry." I felt something wet hit my cheek and looked up to see Harry crying into my hair with his eyes closed.

"You have nothing to be sorry for love." This only made him cry harder.

"No, I've been so selfish lately, and I never once thought about the way you felt. Please forgive me." He hugged me tighter and I leaned my head into his chest.

"I love you Harry." I heard a sniffle and knew I had said the right thing.

"I love you too" He opened his eyes and pushed me away gently. "Please don't ever make me go through this again." He added.

"Deal." I laughed slightly, but the look on his face was serious.

Just then another nurse came back in with a doctor and ordered Harry off the bed much to my dismay; the nurse must have seen the look on my face, because she assured me that Harry could stay in the room.

"Okay Mr. Tomlinson you can leave whenever you like, on your way out just pick up your medicine from the front desk and sign some papers as well."

I nodded my head and the doctor left smiling widely at me.

"Are you alright now Harry?" The nurse asked the curly headed boy.

How did she know him and what was wrong with him before? I shot him a questioning glance, but he didn't meet my eyes. I think he might have been blushing a little.

"I'm better now that Louis's awake." He smiled and finally met my gaze, making me the one blushing.

"Good, I'm happy that you're happy. By the way I'm Danielle." She held out a hand to me, but I just looked at it. She lowered her hand awkwardly and cleared her throat.

"Well I have good news and bad news."

"Well this feels like Deja Vue." Harry mumbled.

What on earth is going on?! Am I missing something?

"Yes, well the UKFA has contacted Niall's grandmother and he is scheduled to leave for her house tomorrow evening."

"That's good; he's been talking about Ireland forever." I smiled, but it faded when I realized where she was going with this.

Harry must have realized to, because he sat himself next to me again and took my hand in his.

"There are two options for you and Darcy. Number one is a home in Doncaster which is about four hours away. You and Darcy could both go there. The second option is two homes about fifteen minutes from here, but you and Darcy would be separated between the two homes.

I froze, eyes going wide. So basically I have to choose between Darcy and Harry. This is going to be one of the hardest decisions I’m going to have to make. Harry tightened his grip on my hand and I turned back to Danielle.

"How long do I have to decide?"

"You'll be moved Wednesday, and today is Monday so two days. I'll leave you two to talk about it and whenever you figure it out call this number and ask for Perrie Edwards."

She handed me a small piece of paper with the UKFA phone number on it. I glanced over it and smiled at her. She smiled back and then skipped out of the room. I glanced at Harry, but he was looking at me through the mirror.

"You're going to leave aren't you?" He sighed.

I knew he didn't mean leave the hospital, he meant leave as in going to Doncaster. I didn't say anything, but we both knew he was right. After a few minutes of us just looking at each other I broke the silence.

"I can't just leave Darcy, not after what just happened. She needs me." My voice cracked at the end and soon Harry was wrapping his strong arms around my shoulders again.

"I know. I know. Don't cry, please. I get it. Just promise that you'll call me every day yeah?"

"Yeah." I sniffled. "I promise. We could Skype too."

"I'll come visit you whenever I can." He smiled

"It's only for 32 days Haz." I joked trying to lighten the mood.

"That's 32 days too long." He pressed his mouth to mine and I kissed back eagerly letting my bottom lip slip between his plump lips.

"What do you say we go back to my house, and get out of this awful place?" Harry murmured against my lips.

Never have I ever heard a better plan than that. I pointed to the crutches in the corner of the room and Harry brought them to me. I cautiously put my weight on them, but lifted my fractured wrist seconds later as the pain came back. I sat back down on the bed and sighed in defeat.

"Suppose they'd give us a wheelchair?" I laughed.

We both started laughing, and for the first time in a while I felt loved, cared for, and needed.


	18. Chapter 17

Louis's POV

 

On the way back to Harry's house we had to stop at my old foster home and pick up all of Darcy, Niall, and I's stuff. We didn’t have much, so it wasn't too hard, but that was mostly because Harry did all of the work. He climbed back in the car looking tired, so to cheer him up I pulled his face closer to mine and we shared a passionate kiss. I was trying to kiss him as much as I could before I had to leave in two days.

 

After half an hour we arrived back at Harry's house and he pushed my wheelchair inside. The doctors said that I wouldn't be able to use the crutches-because of my wrist-for about a week. Harry rolled me to the bottom of the steps and started laughing.

 

"Didn't think this one through did you?" I teased.

 

As soon as the words rolled off my tongue I was being lifted out of the wheel chair. I instantly put my arms around Harry's neck so that I wouldn't fall. I winced as he took a step, feeling the pain becoming less and less dull.

 

"You alright babe?" He looked down at me and smiled his cheeky smile.

 

My heart fluttered at the name and the pain seemed to slip away. Harry resumed walking up the stairs and laid me on the bed before laying on the other side of me. We laid in silence for a while, and I thought it was strange that he was so far away from me. It was only a few inches, but usually he's right next to me, so it felt like a lot.

 

"Are you going to cuddle with me or not?" I made it sound like I was joking, but I was dead serious.

 

"I would, but I don't want to risk hurting you." He turned over so that he was facing me with a smirk playing on his lips.

 

"I'll be fine. Just come here." I raised my good arm and took his hand.

 

Somehow we managed to cuddle without having to drop our hands, or hurting myself. I leaned my head onto Harry's shoulder and breathed out a sigh. When I woke up at the hospital and Harry wasn't there I was so scared he would never talk to me after he found out what had happened to me. I still don't know why he stays with me. I really don't deserve it.

 

"Haz?"

 

"Hmm?" I glanced at the younger boy to see that he was half asleep.

 

"Never mind." I snuggled my head deeper into his shoulder and drifted off to sleep, completely forgetting what I was going to ask him.

 

****

 

Harry's POV (6 hours later)

 

I walked sleepily into the living room where Darcy, Liam, Niall, and Zayn were all staring at me. I guessed they had gotten home from school a few hours prior. Darcy jumped up and ran to me.

 

"Where is he? Is he okay?" She asked frantically, looking around.

 

"Come on, let's go see him." I took her small hand in my own and together we walked into my room, with the others trailing behind us nervously.

 

Louis was sitting up with his eyes closed, but they opened when I pushed the door open. Darcy ran and jumped onto the bed next to Louis, throwing her arms around him. He wrapped his tan arms around her and hugged her back softly.

 

I watched as he winced and then she crawled into his lap and started crying. She was clinging to his shirt, actually my shirt, desperately. He was rubbing her back with his un-hurt arm and whispering something to her. Anyone could clearly see how much Darcy loved Louis and how much Louis loved Darcy. It was actually quite sweet.

 

"Where are we going to go Lou-Lou?" Darcy sobbed out.

 

I turned to leave the room when I heard him sigh. I barely handled it well the first time; a second was just too much. I walked downstairs and made myself a glass of water. I put my empty cup in the sink when I was done and walked back to my room to find everyone crowded around the bed laughing. I stepped into an empty space and looked around at them.

 

"What's so funny?" I raised an eyebrow.

 

"Zayn and Liam were just telling us about the time you were chased around by a goat, while you screamed like a little girl." Louis laughed.

 

"Zayn! Liam! I told you never to tell anyone about that, and I screamed like a man. Besides it's not my fault that the goat was out to get me." I put my face in my hands to hide my blush as they laughed even harder.

 

"Her name was Sweet Pea!" Liam laughed.

 

I heard Louis laugh even louder as his hand gripped mine and pulled it away from my burning cheeks. My skin stung at his touch and I soon found myself laughing with them, my blush disappearing slowly with each laugh.

 

When we had all calmed down Louis looked up at me with an indescribable emotion flashing in his eyes. I mouthed 'I love you' and he mouthed back 'I love you too'.

 

"We can read lips you know?" Zayn smirked.

 

"Oh you're just jealous you have no one to love." I retorted playfully. I winked at Louis and he blushed slightly.

 

"Well lads, I'm leaving in tomorrow so I'd just like to say thank-you for everything, especially you Louis." Niall's gaze flitted between Louis and I, and I smiled at him.

 

"We're gonna miss you mate." Liam put a hand on Niall’s shoulder and Zayn nodded in agreement.

 

"My little Leprechaun’s all grown up." Louis fake cried.

 

"I told you not to call me that." Niall groaned.

 

I giggled and sat down next to Louis on the bed, playing with his fringe.

 

"I say we go to lunch one last time with Niall, and then we'll see you off at the airport." Louis declared happily.

 

"Umm, I hate to break it you Lou, but you aren't exactly in the best shape." Niall smiled.

 

"Will everyone please quit being a worry wart, and mind their own damn business! I. Am. Fine." Louis sighed dramatically and frowned, poking out his bottom lip.

 

I leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his thin pink lips. When I pulled back, he was no longer frowning, and that was my plan. Mission accomplished.

 

"Gross! Get a room." Liam shielded his eyes with his hands and took a step back, bumping into Zayn.

 

Darcy shot him a death glare that only I saw, so while I was laughing like mad, everyone was staring at me in confusion. I choked out why I was laughing in between fits of giggles. I stopped laughing and turned to Liam with a semiserious look on my face.

 

"You are no fun LiLi." I stuck my tongue out at him and linked mine and Louis's fingers together.

 

"Well excuse me for not wanting to see you too get it on in-"

 

"There is an innocent seven year old in the room!" Louis suddenly shouted, effectively cutting Liam off.

 

"Right, yeah sorry Darcy." Liam mumbled sheepishly.

 

I smiled down at Louis in complete adoration as he smiled back with a toothy grin. I couldn't resist so I pecked his lips once again. When I looked around Darcy was glaring at Liam who looked ready to say something else. Honestly, Darcy has got to be the coolest kid I've ever met.

 

"Haz, can you take me somewhere?" Louis said randomly.

 

"Where?" I asked, the confusion clear in my voice.

 

"It's a surprise. I'll give you directions." Louis looked so happy, and I just couldn't deny him anything.

 

I shoved my arms under him and lifted him off the bed. He wasn't helping the situation by placing sweet kisses along my collar bones and neck. When we were settled in the car he told me directions to where we were going. Fifteen minutes later we were in front of a pet store.

 

"Lou?"

 

"Help me into my wheelchair." He laughed rolling his eyes.

 

I shrugged and got his wheelchair out of the trunk and set him in it carefully. I would gladly carry him around, but I'm pretty sure some people would find that somewhat weird. I was rolling him into the door when he put his hands on the wheels and stopped me from pushing him any further.

 

"Wait in the car." I glanced nervously down at him and kissed his cheek, before getting back into my car.

 

I sat there for a good while until Louis came to the doors with a box in his lap. I went up to him and began pushing him to the car. The box had holes in it, so that meant it was probably something alive, but what would he get?

 

"What's in the box?"

 

"Wait until we get back to your house." He looked over his shoulder and smirked at me.

 

My curiosity got the best of me, and when Louis was looking out the window I tried to peek inside one of the holes in the box, but all I saw was a brownish color, kind of like my hair.

 

When Louis was once again settled on my bed and the box was in his lap I sat at the end of the bed, waiting for him to tell me what was in the box.

 

Louis slowly opened the box grinning like mad. He reached inside but paused and met my eyes.

 

"If you don't want it, I'll take it back, but I just thought you know, since you like cats and stuff, yeah- here." He slowly pulled a brown fluffy thing out of the box and placed it on the bed in between us.

 

My eyes widened when I saw that it was a small kitten. His brown fur was exactly the color of my hair and he had green eyes that looked curiously around the room.

 

"Aww!" I reached forward and scooped the small kitten into my arms as I scratched between its ears.

 

"He reminded me of you, he had the same color eyes and hair." Louis blushed, his confidence seeming to disappear completely.

 

I moved so that I was sitting next to Louis and wrapped and arm around his waist pulling him closer to me.

 

"What should we name him?" I looked down at the kitten thinking of possible names that would suit the kitten.

 

"Name it Larry, Larry Stylinson!" Both Louis's and my head snapped around to Darcy who was playing on Niall's phone in the corner of the room.

 

When did she get there? Louis and I shared a confused glance, and laughed a little at our stupidity. When I'm with Louis, I kind of just forget about everything else.

 

"It's a mash up of your names! Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles." She said in a 'duh' voice.

 

"Larry it is!" I laughed as 'Larry' meowed.

 

"He agrees." Louis smiled up at me fondly.

 

"I love you."

 

"I love you too Haz."


	19. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains Larry smut...read at your own risk. This is my first attempt at smut and it might just be awful. If you are uncomfortable reading it just skip over it and read the end of the chapter.
> 
> 1\. I don't know if I'm any good a smut, because this was my first attempt, but please let me know about that.  
> 2\. The song that Harry sings is "Save My Heart" By Jason Reeves. It says it was written by Harry though, so let's just pretend ;)  
> Now I won't bore you with any more notes, so on to this (amazing if I do say so myself) chapter. It's very emotional...you have been warned once again.  
> Enjoy! XxX

Louis's POV *2 Days Later*

I woke up with Harry's arms wrapped around my small frame. I could really get used to this. I turned over so that I was facing him and laid my head on his bare chest. While I slept in a t-shirt and pajama pants, Harry slept in nothing but a pair of boxers every night. I must admit that he looked good in them, not to sound like a pervert or anything, but he has a nice body.

Yesterday we had gone out for lunch at Nando’s, then we went with Niall to the airport. I was sad to see him go, but happy that he would finally be safe and happy with his grandmother. We all promised to keep in touch, and then he was gone. I hadn't realized how fond I had grown of him until a single tear ran down my cheek. At that point Harry had wiped it away and kissed my cheek whispering sweet things into my ear.

I really don't deserve Harry, and I can't even begin to imagine why he would want to be with me, when I have absolutely nothing to offer.

"Why do you even like me?" I grumbled, knowing that he was asleep.

"I don't" He mumbled back.

I swear my heart stopped and I felt like fainting. I knew it. I knew that- My thoughts were interrupted by him moving so that he was hovering over me. I gulped and stared at him with wide eyes, trying not to cry. I'm such a sissy. All I do now is cry. What has this beautiful boy done to me?

"I don't like you Louis, I love you." A sigh of relief escaped my lips and I smacked his shoulder.

"Don't do that Haz, you scared me to death." I huffed.

"I'm sorry Boo." With that he leaned down and brushed his lips against mine teasingly.

I lifted my head to meet him halfway, but then he pulled back and rolled off of me. I lay there in shock for a minute, before I realized what was happening.

"You're such a tease." I scoffed and turned my back to his smirking face.

He draped and arm across my waist and my back met his chest. He rested his chin on my head and I heard him chuckle quietly.

"You know you love it." His voice was gravelly since he just woke up, and just that sent a heat to the pit of my stomach. Him being so close to me also did not help.

"I really don't." I sighed and turned around to face him again.

He kissed the tip of my nose, then moved to both of my cheeks, then finally he wrapped his lips around mine and kissed me gently. I licked at his bottom lip, but he smirked against my lips and rolled over me again. The kiss got a lot rougher and I was growing tired of his constant teasing. I was feeling very uncomfortable in my 'lower regions' but luckily he didn't seem to notice.

I bit down on his bottom lip and slid my tongue into his mouth when he gasped. My plan backfired, because as soon as my tongue had entered his mouth he clamped his lips around it and began to suck. I shifted, hoping that my hardening crotch wasn't too noticeable. That was when I noticed the small tent in Harry's pants as well. At least I wasn't the only one getting hard.

His large hand slid under my shirt, and I jerked away when he slid over a particularly sensitive bruise right below my belly button.

"Sorry." He breathed before reattaching our lips.

He was pulling on the hem of my shirt, and I wanted nothing more than for him to make love to me right then and there, but there was something in the back of my head that had me reaching out to stop his hands from tugging up my shirt any further.

I pulled away breathless and I could see the small amount of hurt in Harry's eyes. I felt a dull pain in my chest and brushed my lips against his to reassure him that I wasn't upset.

"I'll be gentle, I promise." Harry whispered seductively into my ear.

All of my self-control vanished at his words and before I could change my mind I was pulling off his shirt and helping him with mine. He stopped for a moment to stare at my scarred and bruised chest when I felt the insecurity setting in. I instinctively reached for my shirt, but Harry caught my wrist and looked me in the eye. Without dropping his gaze he leaned down and placed a kiss to the bruise on my right collar bone, then he moved to kiss the place where my broken ribs were. He didn't stop until every bruise had been kissed and when he finally came back up to my face, my eyes were shining with happiness. His gesture was so sweet. Simple, but effective.

I tangled my fingers in his curly locks and kissed him hard, letting him take control and slowly slide my pants down off of my legs. He proceeded to kiss those bruises and scars too. When he kissed one on my inner thigh it was a little too close to my growing erection and I let out a small moan. Harry smirked and his lips ghosted over the fabric of my underwear. Such. A. Fucking. Tease.

He came back up and kissed my forehead lovingly.

"Are you sure you’re okay with this?" He fluttered his eyelids, and I couldn't have said no if I wanted to.

I nodded my head and he smiled so big I thought his face was going to split in half. I watched as he reached into the drawer beside his bed and pulled out a condom and a small bottle of lube. I blushed deeply as he laid them on the bed. So does he just keep those in there all the time or...?

"I borrowed them from Zayn if you're wondering. I don't just have a stash of this stuff in my room." He was blushing too.

I nodded again and lifted my head kissing him roughly. This made the awkwardness disappear and it wasn't long before Harry was kissing down my chest. He placed one last kiss at the edge of my boxers before pulling them down. He wasted no time in wrapping his lips around my throbbing member and sucking hard. He bobbed his head, taking in a little more each time. I was gripping the bed sheets so tightly, my knuckles were white.

The pleasure coursing through my body was indescribable and I never wanted it to end. I tangled my hands in his hair and let out a small moan of approval when he flicked his tongue over the tip.

"H-Harry, I'm not g-going to l-last much longer." I stuttered out, pulling at his hair.

Harry pulled his mouth away, making a 'pop' sound. I pouted at him, but he just smirked as he crawled back up my chest and kissed my forehead sweetly.

"I'm not done with you yet babe." He winked and my hips bucked involuntarily.

"Someone's eager." He chuckled, reaching for the lube.

I watched as he spread some on his fingers and placed them near my entrance. For a minute he just loosened me up a bit, then without warning he slid in one of his long, bony fingers. I gasped in a mix of pain and pleasure.

He slowly began thrusting his finger and soon he had added another. After I was literally writhing and squirming underneath him, he pulled his fingers out and positioned his cock at my entrance. He reached for the condom but I threw it to the floor. He kissed me, and then thrusted all the way into me. I felt like I was being ripped in half. Harry wiped away the few tears coming from my eyes, and spoke comforting words in my ear as he let me adjust to his largeness.

After a few minutes the pain was dulling and I desperately needed him to do something, and I could tell he was dying to move.

"Move." My voice was raw.

Harry thrusted into me slowly at first, but then he started getting harder and faster with each thrust. Within minutes I was a wiggling mess, my moans almost rolling into one. Harry let out the occasional squeak of pleasure but for the most part he stayed quiet.

I had a brief panic attack when I realized there could be other people in the house, hearing us having sex, but that thought vanished when Harry angled himself slightly and hit the right spot perfectly.

I moaned loudly to let him know, and he started getting faster as he pounded into that same spot multiple times. I felt the heat coiling in the pit of my stomach and knew it wouldn't be long before I came.

As those thoughts left my head I felt something warm and sticky sliding down my leg. I realized Harry had just come as a shout left his swollen pink lips. His head was thrown back and he was shaking. That sight alone was enough to make me come all over my chest and Harrys. We sat there for a minute coming down from our highs. Harry slowly pulled out of me, emitting a gasp of pain from me.

"That was amazing." He sighed.

"Mhmm. We have three hours until I leave. Can we take a nap?" I mumbled, already feeling my eyelids drooping.

"Don't you think we should shower first?" Harry stifled a yawn, looking absolutely adorable in doing so.

The next half hour was filled with steamy make-out session under the hot jets of water. When we were finally clean we laid down in each other's arms and fell asleep, our last words being 'I love you's'.

**

I turned over and looked at the clock. My new foster parents would be here in an hour. I rolled over to Harry, and it was then that I realized how sore my bum was. I kissed Harry's forehead and climbed out of bed careful of my injured leg and ribs. My wrist didn't hurt that much anymore, but I wasn't going to take any chances. I was making my way over to my suitcase when something caught my eye.

I glanced over my shoulder at the piano against the wall and studied it carefully. There were a few sheets of music on the stand, and being the curious lad I am, I walked over to it.

 

Save My Heart  
By: Harry Styles

 

If it wouldn't have said his name then I probably would have left it alone, but it did say his name and it seemed to be a song about something personal. I decided to wake him up and ask him about it, so I walked over to him and shook him softly.

"What is it Lou?" He mumbled, not opening his eyes.

"Can I ask you something?" I but my lip.

"Sure." He sat up slowly and glanced at the clock.

"Did you write that song for me?"

Harry's eyes widened and he glanced nervously to the piano before yelling 'Oh shit' and running over to it. His hand went up to his mouth when he saw the music sitting right there on the stand.

"You weren't supposed to see it. Oh my god. You probably think I'm creepy now. I'm so-"

"Will you just shut up and play it for me?" I laughed, showing off my teeth.

Harry gulped nervously and looked down at his feet, before sliding onto the small bench in front of the grey electric piano. I sat next to him and watched as he placed his fingers on the keys.

 

(Play song on sidebar here)

 

The intro to the song sounded and then Harry's beautiful voice filled my ears.

 

"I want what I can't have, I wanna make you mine, I don't care what it takes  
I'm fearless with my heart, I'll take it any place, I don't care if it breaks  
I wanna tell you things I'd never tell myself  
These secrets hurt like hell, oh  
Call me crazy maybe I'm insanely out of my mind, but it'll never faze me  
If I have to I'm not afraid to save my heart for you"

 

I felt the familiar sting of tears at the corners of my eyes. I really don't deserve Harry's love, but he gives so much to me it almost chokes me. I smiled widely at him as he continued.

 

"I'm a rebel even if it's trouble, I'm a pull you out from the rubble  
If I have to I'm not afraid to save my heart for you  
Tell me I'm wrong, Turn around and run  
Still I'm gonna save my heart for you" 

 

That's true, I did try to run from it at first, but I'm so glad I came back. Harry means everything to me, and I promised myself I was never going to let him go. He’s my entire world, and there’s no way I can let him go now.

 

"I know you want me to, Even if it's not now, I'm gonna wait it out  
But don't you dare forget, that moment that we had, I know we both felt it  
I wanna tell you things I'd never tell myself  
These secrets hurt like hell, oh  
Call me crazy maybe I'm insanely out of my mind, but it'll never faze me  
If I have to I'm not afraid to save my heart for you  
I'm a rebel even if it's trouble, I'm a pull you out from the rubble  
If I have to I'm not afraid to save my heart for you  
Tell me I'm wrong, Turn around and run  
Still I'm gonna save my heart for you  
Oh, oh  
I wanna tell you things I'd never tell myself  
These secrets hurt like hell, oh

The first time that you smiled so shyly back at me  
I couldn't help myself

Call me crazy maybe I'm insanely out of my mind, but it'll never phase me  
If I have to I'm not afraid to save my heart for you  
I'm a rebel even if it's trouble, I'm a pull you out from the rubble  
If I have to I'm not afraid to save my heart for you  
Tell me I'm wrong, Turn around and run  
Still I'm gonna save my heart for you  
Tell me I'm wrong, Turn around and run  
Still I'm gonna save my heart for you  
Oh, oh  
I want what I can't have, I gonna make you mine, No matter what it takes"

 

I launched myself at Harry when the song ended, throwing my arms around his neck and kissing him all over his beautiful, sweet face. He lifted me into his lap and cupped my cheeks. I stared down at him with pure adoration shining in my eyes.

"I love you." I attached our lips before he could answer, and we spent the next half hour cuddling on his bed and sharing sweet, gentle kisses.

They weren't full of lust; they were just showing our love. It hit me then how much I was going to miss him. I snuggled into his side and closed my eyes, sighing deeply.

"I don't wanna go." I mumbled, not daring to look into his eyes.

Harry sighed and shifted so that he could look me in the eyes.

"It's what's best for you and Darcy. Besides, you'll be out of there soon."

"About that, I was just wondering, and you don't have to say yes if you don't want to, it's your choice of course, but I just was going to see if you would say yes, but I'd understand if you didn't want to, I mean come on I-"

"Lou, would you stop rambling and just get to the point already." Harry laughed and pushed some of my hair that had fallen in front of my eyes back.

"Well, I was just thinking that maybe you could, umm...come live with me when I turn eighteen?" I whispered the last part and looked down at my lip waiting for the painful rejection.

"I'd love that!" Harry tightened his arms around me and kissed my temple.

"Really?" I asked in disbelief.

"Of course!" Harry picked me up, stood off of the bed and spun around in a circle hugging me tightly.

I giggled at how silly he was being, when he set me on my feet again.

"I got you something." He reached into his desk drawer and pulled out what looked like a phone.

"I saw that yours was ruined at the hospital so I got you another one. My number is already programmed in and," He paused to turn on the white Iphone showing me the home screen. "Your lock screen is of us."

I smiled at the picture of our heads leant together as both of us were smiling widely. It was one of the many pictures we took on his computer. I laughed and he handed it to me.

"It’s also got the other pictures on there, plus I put a few songs on there." 

"Thank you Harry." I smiled fondly up at him as he gazed back into my eyes.

"No problem babe, did you really think I could go a whole month without talking to you." He chuckled.

"No I mean thanks for everything. You've done so much for me, and I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend." I watched him blush as I kissed his cheek.

I was suddenly being pulled into his chest, while he sneakily slipped the phone into my back pocket I placed a light kiss on his neck and smirked and the other bruises there from earlier. I knew I had some too of course, but that didn't really matter.

"I'm going to miss you." I felt something wet drip onto my shoulder, and looked up to see Harry crying.

"Please don't cry, you're going to make me cry too." I tried to laugh, but it was more of a squeak as I felt the warm tears sliding down my cheeks. 

"I love you so much it hurts." Harry whispered leaning his forehead against mine.

"I love you more than you'll ever know." I replied, kissing him passionately.

Who knows when we'll be able to do that again. As I pulled away Darcy came running through the door to me. She tugged on my shirt and I reluctantly stepped away from Harry.

"Were you two just snogging?" She giggled.

"Why did you come up here?" I asked, avoiding her question.

"They're here." She said half sad, half happy.

I heard a small noise from behind me and assumed it was Harry.

"Okay, we'll be there in a second."

"Okay!" She skipped happily down the steps and into the living room.

I turned to Harry and pushed him against the wall. He was full on sobbing now. I smashed our lips together and kissed him hard. I could taste the saltiness of his tears, but I didn't mind. His hands went to my waist, and I cupped his face with my hands. I pulled away and looked deep into Harry's eyes.

"I will always love you. Always. Don't ever forget that." Harry whispered roughly.

He glanced to my wrists, before grabbing them and leading me to his desk. The hospital had taken off my bracelets so my scars were showing bright pink and red against my pale skin. It was a wonder Harry hadn’t noticed them before now. Harry picked up a sharpie, and I was about to question him when he drew a big heart around the scars and both wrists. I raised an eyebrow when he looked up.

"If you cut them, you break my heart." He gestured to the black hearts on my wrists.

I nodded my head, while pecking his soft lips one last time.

"I love you, and besides, when you miss me just play with Larry." I chuckled as I took his hand and we walked downstairs.

When we got into the living room I saw two unfamiliar people sitting on Harry's couch and tensed immediately. Harry squeezed my hand to reassure me as I came to stand in front of Lily and James Tucker.

"Hi, you must be Louis." Lily smiled up at me and I noticed she had pretty green eyes, but they didn't even compare to Harry's.

"Yeah, I am." I smiled holding out my hand to her, then to her husband. 

He was slim and didn't look like he'd hurt a fly. This relaxed me a bit. Just then Jane came into the room asking Lily and James if they needed anything. It had turned out that Harry's foster parents and Lily and James were friends before they moved away to Doncaster.

"No thanks, we really should be going, it’ll be getting dark soon, and we need to get these two settled." She waved over at Darcy and I and we took the hint.

Harry walked with me over to my suitcase and took it from my hands. Darcy followed close behind us with her suitcase. When we reached the car Harry threw mine and Darcy's bags into the trunk and Darcy got into the backseat, letting me say goodbye to Harry in private.

"I love you, I love you, I love you. I don't think I'll ever be able to say that enough." I wrapped my arms around his waist and he hugged me back tightly.

"I love you too, Lou." I pulled back when the door opened and Lily stepped out.

"Bye Harry." I forced a smile

"Bye Louis." Harry sighed, pecking me once on the lips before walking away.

"You're welcome to come visit anytime you want Harry." She smiled in his direction.

 

He stopped at the front door and turned around, watching us. We all got into the car and James was backing the car out of the drive. Harry sent me a small wave and I returned it, blowing him a kiss to add a little cheekiness.

I looked back until I couldn't see him anymore. When I turned around Darcy was playing with one of her dolls. I sighed and leaned my head against the cold glass of the car, and drifted into a dreamless sleep.


	20. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't like this chapter very much. I think it sucks, but It’s just a filler to lead up to the next piece of drama. You thought the drama was over didn't you? WRONG! There’s still more to come:
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy the chapter! xxx

Harry's POV

 

I stood in the doorway and watched as Lily and James’ car drove away, taking Louis with them. I stayed strong until the car turned a corner and I knew Louis could no longer see me, then I dropped to my knees on the cold, hard ground and put my face in my hands, letting the real tears fall. I sobbed into my hands, thinking about everything that could possibly happen to Louis when he was away.

 

I felt a hand on my shoulder, but didn’t look up to see who it was. My eyes were clouded with tears and I couldn’t think straight.

 

I sat there feeling broken, and empty, as I cried my eyes out on the steps that led to the door.

 

“Come on Darling, everything will be okay.” Jane’s soft voice echoed in my ear.

 

I stood up slowly and brushed past her, going straight for my room. I dove under my covers and hugged my pillow. I already missed Louis, and it had barely been ten minutes. I’m pitiful. I missed his beautiful smile, his bright blue eyes, his laugh, his messy hair, and his ability to make me laugh, but most of all I missed having him in my arms. I ended up crying into my pillow all night long, until I got a text from Louis.

 

**

 

Louis’s POV

 

I woke up a few hours later, and was dragged into the medium sized brick home, by Darcy. I dragged my feet to the room that was ‘mine’. Darcy excitement was frustrating me, and for once I just wanted her to go away and leave me alone. As I lay down on the red duvet I thought back to Harry and my eyes welled up with tears

 

**

 

(Two Hours Later)

 

I had finally gotten everything unpacked and put away when Darcy came bounding into my room.

 

“Why aren’t you happy Lou-Lou? We’re away from Mr. Smith.” She frowned up at me.

 

“Because, we’re also away from Harry.” I sighed, trying not to sound angry.

 

“Oh yeah.” She looked at a loss for words, so I took my opportunity.

 

“I’m really tired, so I think I’m going to just go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.” I moved towards my bed, as she turned around and walked out of my room, glancing over her shoulder at me one last time.

 

I hugged Harry’s purple Jack Wills hoodie to my chest and snuggled up to my blanket. I know he gave it to me, but I still consider it his and it still smells like him and brings me comfort. I pulled my new phone out from my pocket and texted him.

 

 

Louis: I miss you :’(

 

 

Harry: I miss you more :’(

 

 

Louis: I know it’s late, but can I call you?

 

 

Harry: You can call me anytime you want babe.

 

 

 

I called Harry and was relieved when his voice drifted into my ear.

 

 

“Hey” I noticed his voice was rough.

 

“Hi.” I sighed.

 

“So why did you want to call me?”

 

“I don’t know. I guess I just needed to hear your voice.”

 

 

For the next half hour we just talked about my new house and our foster parents and basically everything else.

 

 

“Will you sing to me Haz?” I asked hesitantly.

 

“Of course I will, but why?” I could tell he was about to fall asleep.

 

“Sing me to sleep.” I shrugged.

 

“Is there a certain song you want me to sing?”

 

“No, just something that will help me fall asleep.”

 

“So, like a lullaby?” Harry laughed.

 

“No, you know what I meant. Just sing.”

 

 

 

 

(Play song here)

 

 

I heard a faint humming and then Harry was singing into my ear.

 

 

 

“If I don’t say this now, I will surely break

 

 

As I’m leaving the one I wanna take

 

 

Forgive the urgency, but hurry up and wait

 

 

My heart has started to separate.”

 

 

 

I smiled as I recognized my favorite song, being sung to me by my wonderful boyfriend. He really is wonderful.

 

 

“Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,

 

 

Be my baby

 

 

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh

 

 

Be my baby,

 

 

I’ll look after you”

 

 

 

I closed my eyes and let the words sink in, as my mind slowed down and the thoughts stopped.

 

 

“There now steady love

 

 

So few come and don’t go

 

 

Will you won’t you

 

 

Be the one I’ll always know

 

 

When I’m losing my control

 

 

The city spins around

 

 

You’re the only one who knows

 

 

You slow it down”

 

 

I didn't hear the rest of the song, because at that point I fell asleep.

 

**

 

(1 Week Later)

 

Lily dropped me off at the gates to my new school and I quickly made my way to the office, avoiding all the other kids.

 

When I had gotten my schedule and found my locker I moved on to my first class, texting Harry along the way.

 

 

Louis: I don't like this school.

 

 

Harry: It's your first day what's so bad about it?

 

 

Louis: everything! :(

 

 

Harry: I have to go Mr. Turner threatened to take away my phone. Just try to make a friend or something. I love you xxx

 

 

Louis: I love you too. Xx

 

 

 

 

I put my phone back into my pocket as I entered the room. I noticed the only empty seat was in the back corner by two guys who were casting nervous glances around the room. I took the seat next to them and smiled politely. I was going to try to make friends, but only because Harry told me to.

 

“Hi, I’m Louis.” I said cheerfully.

 

“I’m Stan and that’s Jimmy. Are you new here?” The brunette said.

 

“Yeah, I just moved from London.” I shrugged.

 

Just then on old lady with big glasses and grey hair came into the room and started talking about English stuff.

 

“Mrs. Taylor will fall asleep ten minutes into the lesson, so then we can pretty much do whatever.” Jimmy smirked.

 

I noticed Jimmy had the same color eyes as me, but a bit darker and his hair was almost black. Stan had honey colored hair and Hazel eyes.

 

Jimmy turned out to be right, because as I was copying something out of the book I heard a thump, and when I looked up I saw Mrs. Taylor’s head on her desk.

 

“So Louis, I’ve heard London has lots of hot guys. Is that true?” Jimmy raised an eyebrow, and I couldn’t hide the shock on my face.

 

Stan reached over and slapped Jimmy’s arm playfully before turning back to me.

 

“I hope you don’t mind but Jimmy’s gay and I’m bi.” He bit his lip.

 

“That doesn’t bother me at all. I’m gay myself.” I let out a small laugh.

 

“Really? Yes! We are totally going to be gay buddies now!” Jimmy fist pumped the air.

 

I laughed for real this time. Maybe this school wasn’t so bad.

 

“So are you two, umm...dating?” I looked between the two awkwardly.

 

“No!” Jimmy protested.

 

“My boyfriend moved away a year ago and Jimmy’s crushing on a straight guy.” Stan narrowed his eyes at Jimmy.

 

“Keep trying mate, I was straight before my boyfriend came along.” I smiled.

 

“You have a boyfriend? What’s he like? How did he turn you gay?” Jimmy scooted his chair closer to mine.

 

I pulled out my phone and showed them the picture of Harry and I on my home screen.

 

“Damn! He’s hot.” Jimmy said rather loudly, causing me to blush. Stan nodded in agreement.

 

“His name is Harry.”

 

For the rest of the class period I told them all about him and how he ‘turned me gay.’

 

**

 

When I got home that night I was exhausted. I got a snack and relaxed on my bed while watching TV. I immediately texted Harry and told him about Jimmy and Stan, leaving out the part where I talked about him.

 

It was nice being able to eat whenever I wanted, and having a TV in my room wasn’t bad either. Lily and James were always super nice to Darcy and I, so I tried not to get into too much trouble.

 

Earlier in the week I had asked Lily if Harry could come over for the weekend and she said yes, so that meant that Harry would be here in less than three days. I can’t wait!

 

I was sitting on my bed still when I heard a knock at the door. Thinking it was Darcy, I went over and unlocked the door.

 

It was Darcy, but on either side of her was a policeman. I tried to stay calm as I looked over them. Darcy didn’t have handcuffs on so that was a good sign.

 

“Hello officers.” I smiled politely.

 

“Good day sir, we were just making sure Darcy got home safely. There was a shooting in the park today, but we have the guy in custody so no need to worry.” The one with the mustache said.

 

“Oh no! Is she okay?” I pulled Darcy inside and hugged her.

 

“She’s a little shaken up, but other than that she should be fine.” The bald one said.

 

“Thank you for bringing her home.” I nodded my head as they walked away and I closed the door behind them.

 

I picked up Darcy and set her on my hip, wiping away the tears streaming down her cheeks.

 

“Let’s go watch power rangers.” I poked her nose.

 

“Can I have a snack?” She asked quietly.

 

“Of course, love.”

 

For the rest of the day we sat in my room, watched Power Rangers, and ate popcorn. When it was time for bed she asked if she could sleep with me, because she was scared, and of course I agreed.

 

As I lay in bed that night I couldn’t help but think about how much my life has changed in these past few months. I really can’t thank Harry enough. I thank him every day and he tells me he loves me every day. Every morning I wake up to a text from him and every night he’s the last person I talk to.

 

Some people who know about my life would do anything to go back and change it, but I wouldn’t, because then I never would have met Harry or Darcy. I wouldn’t have met two very cool guys named Jimmy and Stan, my ‘Gay Buddies!’ I wouldn’t have met Lily, James, Jane, or Sam.

 

After being at the Smith’s house for five years I stopped believing in friends, love, and hope. I didn’t think anyone could be as nice as these people. They proved me wrong. I used to think all anyone did was lie. They proved me wrong.

 

I was wrong.


	21. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Okay, so there will be a lot of time skips in these last few chapters, because after Louis’ birthday this story will end and I’ll be starting the second book, Trust.
> 
> Listen to the song Outlaws of Love by Adam Lambert. It doesn’t relate to the story, but it’s what I listened to while writing this chapter. I’ve had it on replay for like two days now. I think it’s a really good song about gay people. I don’t mean that in a bad way, that’s actually what the songs about, just listen to the words.
> 
>  
> 
> -Claire xx

(3 Days Later)

 

I was sitting on my bed, bored out of my mind waiting for Harry to get here. Just as I decided to take a nap to pass the time there was a knock at the door.

 

I jumped up from my bed and ran, knowing that the knock was from a certain curly haired lad. I swung open the door and jumped into Harry’s outstretched arms. The grin on his face was so large it looked like his face would split in half, but it didn’t even compare to the one on my face.

 

I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, while kissing him roughly. He hugged me tightly and slid his tongue across my bottom lip. I opened my mouth and let his tongue glide along my teeth and cheeks before wrestling with mine. I pulled away breathless and leant my forehead against his. I missed his kisses.

 

“I missed you so much.” I kissed him again, but softer.

 

“I missed you too.” Harry said, walking inside and kicking the door closed.

 

I leaned forward and kissed him again as he sat us down on the couch. I unwrapped my legs and straddled his lap. I pulled back once again and held up my wrists.

 

“I didn’t break it Haz! Look.” He took my wrists and placed gentle kisses to them, smiling softly.

 

I fell forward onto his chest and hugged him tightly. He hugged me back, and whispered into my ear.

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you to.”

 

I sat back up and looked around the house with a mischievous glint in my eyes. I turned back to Harry and pressed our noses together, giving him an Eskimo kiss. I slowly ran a finger down his chest, stopping once it reached the hem of his shirt and tugged it lightly.

 

“Lily and James won’t be home until ten and Darcy is spending the night with her friend, so that gives us at least three hours of alone time.” I whispered against his lips.

 

He moved his head forward and sucked on my bottom lip. I smirked into the kiss and slid one of my hands under his shirt, emitting a gasp from him. He ripped off my shirt and I moved my hands to undo his belt buckle.

 

“I’m not bottoming this time.” I growled into his ear.

 

He whined and I laughed quietly at how he squirmed beneath me.

 

“Make love to me, babe.” He breathed out against my neck.

 

**

 

After we had cleaned up and changed into our pajamas, we lay on my bed and were watching random movies. I was against Harry’s side with my arm around his waist and he had his arm over my shoulders. My head was resting on his chest and one of my legs was over his. I was practically lying on him. He kept subconsciously pulling me closer throughout the entire movie, but I didn’t mind.

 

 

Apparently Love Actually is his favorite movie, so he was barely paying any attention to me at all. I sighed deeply and looked up to see his eyes trained on the TV instead of me. Call me selfish, but I haven’t seen him in a week and I’m mad that he’s not paying attention to me. I mean yeah, we just had sex, but still.

 

I sat up and was about to get off of the bed, but he grabbed my hand.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“To the bathroom.”

 

He tugged my hand hard, causing me to fall on top of him, then he kissed me softly.

 

I smiled stupidly down at him as I lifted myself off of the bed and went to the bathroom. I smiled at the three love bites on my neck, knowing that Harry had two identical ones.

 

“LOUIS!” Harry screamed.

 

I ran out of the bathroom to see Harry with his knees pulled up to his chest and staring wide eyed at the floor.

 

“What’s wrong?” I raised an eyebrow, trying to hold back my laughter. He looked like a little kid.

 

“Spider!” He pointed to something in the corner and I instantly leaped onto the bed, spotting the black thing on my floor.

 

“Protect me Hazza!” I scooted closer to Harry and he put his arms around me.

 

Did I mention I’m scared of spiders? Well I am and that spider was the Godzilla of spiders.

 

“What are we gonna do?” Harry whispered as if the spider could hear him.

 

“I don’t know.” I whispered back, not taking my eyes off of the spider.

 

“Go kill it.” Harry let go of me and I looked at him in a mix of horror and disbelief.

 

“No! I hate spiders! You go kill it. You’re the man in this relationship.” I said in a completely serious tone.

 

“I want that in writing,” Harry winked. “but I’m not going anywhere near that thing!” He added.

 

“Then I guess we’ll just have to wait until Lily and James get home, then they can kill it.” I crossed my arms aver my chest, and he pulled me back over beside him.

 

Harry nodded and we talked for an hour, as we cuddled and waited for my foster parents to come home. When they finally came in I shouted for them to come in. I didn’t bother untangling myself from Harry; they already knew he was my boyfriend anyway.

 

“Kill that spider!” I pointed at it and Lily screamed, jumping on the bed.

 

“So much for that plan.” Harry laughed quietly.

 

“You’re all a bunch of wimps.” James said as he walked up and stepped on the spider like it was nothing.

 

“Oh be quiet, those things are hideous!” Lily shuddered for dramatic effect and I let out a small laugh.

 

“Hello Harry.” Lily said, finally noticing Harry.

 

“Hi.” He blushed, glancing at me.

 

“I’m glad you’re here, Louis was being too sad for my liking, even Darcy couldn’t cheer him up.” Lily frowned and I blushed.

 

Harry laughed and kissed my cheek.

 

“Well I’m here now.” He said more to me then to Lily.

 

“Okay well I guess we’ll give you two some alone time. Goodnight. Don’t do anything naughty!” She said skipping out of the room.

 

“Please excuse my insane wife.” James smiled, before following her.

 

I blushed even harder at Lily’s comment, noticing that Harry was smirking.

 

“Too late.” He mumbled, smiling cheekily.

 

I elbowed him in the ribs and he laughed. I looked down at my lap in embarrassment. He put two fingers under my chin and forced me to look him in the eyes.

 

“I love you.” He brushed his lips against mine.

 

“I love you too.” I tangled my hand in his hair and pulled his mouth back down to mine.

 

**

 

I woke up early the next morning to the smell of bacon and Harry’s arms around me. Nothing could be better than that.

 

I placed my hand on Harry’s cheek and kissed him softly. His eyes fluttered open and he gave me a faint smile before tightening his arms around me and closing his eyes again.

 

“I’m still tired.” He grumbled.

 

“Come on Haz, I’m hungry.” I played with one of his curls.

 

He released me and rolled over. I glared at him before reaching forward and shoving him. He fell to the floor with a thump. I laughed as he groaned from the floor.

 

I was still giggling when I got up and walked over to him. I held out good my hand and pulled him up from the floor, while he glared at me.

 

“That wasn’t nice Lou.” He took a step closer and stared down into my eyes with an angry face.

 

“Well, you’re awake now, so it worked.” I smirked.

 

Harry put his arms around my waist and threw me on the bed gently. Before I could do anything else he was straddling my waist and smirking down at me. He moved his hands to my sides and my eyes widened as I realized what he was about to do.

 

“No. Harry, please. I’m sorry.” I made my puppy dog face, but it only made him laugh.

 

“It’s too late for that Tomlinson.”

 

Harry dug his fingers into my sides and wiggled them, causing me to giggle. My giggling turned into laughing so hard tears came from my eyes, but Harry wouldn’t stop tickling me no matter how much I begged and gasped for air.

 

I was laughing so hard I forgot about my hurt ribs, so when I tried to jerk away from him, his hand slid up and pressed on top of the broken ones. I yelped in pain and Harry immediately stopped his tickling and crawled off of me.

 

“I’m so sorry Lou, are you okay?” He grabbed my hand and interlocked our fingers.

 

“I’m fine, don’t worry.” I sat up to prove to him that I was fine.

 

It was just a brief pain that had passed, but Harry was acting as if he’d done something horrible. I moved closer to him and he pulled me into his lap.

 

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He whispered.

 

“It didn’t hurt that bad.” I reassured him. “Now, can we please go get some food before my stomach eats itself?”

 

“Of course love.” Harry’s familiar grin reappeared on his face.

 

We walked hand in hand to the kitchen and Lily greeted us from the stove where she was frying eggs.

 

“Go ahead and make your plates. I’ve already eaten and James went to work. Darcy should be home in about an hour, and as soon as she we are going to go shopping, so you will have the house to yourselves, by the way do you need anything?”

 

I’ve started to think that Lily spoils Darcy. She will do literally anything Darcy wants. On our third day here she took us out to get some new clothes and Darcy saw a doll she wanted, so I took her to see it while Lily paid for everything. Darcy was holding the doll when Lily found us and she bought it for her. Even Darcy had said she didn’t need it, but deep down she really wanted it and we could all tell.

 

“No, but thank you.” I sat down in one of the chairs, not letting go of Harry’s hand.

 

He sat in the chair next to mine and we ate the wonderful breakfast Lily had cooked.

 

After breakfast we went back into the small living room and sat on the plush red couch. I switched on the TV and cuddled with Harry until Darcy came in the door. As soon as she saw Harry her eyes went wide and her jaw dropped. I didn’t exactly tell her that Harry was coming over, so you could understand her shock of seeing him sitting on our couch.

 

“HARRY!!” She dropped her bag and ran straight for Harry.

 

I sat up just in time not to be squashed by her as she jumped onto Harry. She hugged him and grinned opening her mouth and pointing at her teeth.

 

“I lost my first tooth!” She said excitedly.

 

“That’s so cool! Did the tooth fairy bring you any money?”

 

“Four pounds.” She shook her head.

 

“Four pounds! When I was a boy I was lucky to get one pound.” He laughed.

 

He looked quite adorable talking to Darcy. She giggled and climbed off of him and came to me.

 

“Did you miss me Lou-Lou?”

 

“So much.” I said in an overly dramatic tone.

 

She grinned one last time before going into the kitchen and seconds later she and Lily were leaving to go shopping.

 

"Okay so I was thinking we could watch the Titanic?" I turned to Harry, hoping he wouldn't think I was weird for wanting to watch a sappy romance movie.

 

"I'll watch whatever you want, but between you and me my favorite movies are the sad romantic ones." He grinned and pressed a kiss to my temple.

 

I untangled myself from his grip and got up to put the movie in. When I had finally figured out how to start the movie Harry was growing impatient and whining about how he needed his 'Boobear' back. I don't know where he got that name from and at the same time, I'm not sure I want to.

 

I sat back down next to him after I pressed play and he sighed, moving to lay his head in my lap. I ran my hand through his soft curls and twirled them around my fingers tugging gently. Harry didn't seem to mind so I played with his curls throughout the entire movie.

 

Towards the end when Rose was laying on the board and Jack was in the water Harry turned around and pressed his face into my stomach.

 

"What's wrong Harry?" I use the grip I had on his hair to pull his head back slightly.

 

He sniffled and I had to fight back a giggle when I saw his face. He had a few small tears falling down his cheeks so I used my thumb to wipe them away. Was he honestly crying over the movie? Don't get me wrong, I thought it was adorable.

 

"What's wrong babe?"

 

"Rose said she'd never let go, but she does and then Jack floats away, and it's just sad okay." He sniffed again pressing his face back into my shirt.

 

"She had to, he was already gone." I said gently.

 

“I know, but it’s still sad. She lied to him.” He sat up and looked me in the eyes.

 

Lied. The word brought chill bumps to my skin. I smiled and he smiled back, the familiar twinkle returning to his eyes instantly.

 

“What do you say we go get some lunch?” I suggested.

 

“Okay.” He stood up and intertwined our fingers.

 

We ate at a small cafe in town and it turned out to be really good. One of the things I like about Harry is that he can keep up a conversation. He makes me laugh a lot too. 

 

As we were about to get back in the car he stopped and told me to get in the driver’s seat.

 

“No. I don’t know how to drive, and you have a nice car.” I held up my hands while shaking my head.

 

“That’s why I’m going to teach you.” He laughed and placed himself in the passenger seat. “If you don’t drive then we could be here a while, because I’m not going to drive.” He crossed his arms over his chest, so I reluctantly got in behind the steering wheel.

 

I turned to him and he smirked.

 

“Get that smirk off of your face, and tell me how to drive this thing.”

 

He spent the next thirty minutes explaining how to start it, which pedal was which, and just how much I needed to turn the wheel.

 

“Okay, that’s it?” I said when he was finished.

 

“Pretty much, and don’t worry, if something happens I’ll take the wheel.”

 

“What might happen?” I asked, suddenly feeling nervous.

 

“Relax Lou, nothing is going to happen, I was just trying to make you feel better. Just drive around the parking lot a bit yeah?”

 

“Are you sure about this Haz? I’ve never driven anything in my life.” I frowned.

 

He leaned over and rolled his eyes before kissing my cheek.

 

“I know you can do this. Please, do it for me.”

 

How could I ever say no to him? It wasn’t as hard as I had expected, but it wasn’t easy. As soon as I put my foot on the gas pedal I lifted it again because I was scared of going too fast, but then the car stopped abruptly. I did that for a little while, starting and stopping, while Harry laughed and tried to help me. I could feel my cheeks burning by the time I finally figured it out. After another half hour I had pretty much mastered driving at fifteen miles per hour in a circle.

 

I smiled proudly as I stopped the car without it lurching forward. Harry grinned over at me and I grinned back.

 

“You did it! Now you just have to learn the rules of the road and you’ll be good to go.”

 

“Ugh! Not today please, I don’t think I can learn anything else today.” I opened the door as Harry laughed quietly and crawled over the seats.

 

I got in on the side where he was just seconds ago and sat down, waiting for him to take me home.

 

When we got back it was around five PM. I knew it would it would be getting dark soon, and I wondered where Lily and Darcy were.

 

They walked in the door almost five seconds after we did and I noted that Darcy was wearing a pink and black dress that she didn’t have before. She was smiling happily and I couldn’t help but think that Darcy had finally found the perfect home.

 

“Louis, I need to talk to you for a moment, dear.”

 

I nodded my head and followed Lily into the kitchen. She sat down at the table, so I did the same. She sighed before speaking.

 

“Well you see, James and I are getting older and so we’ve decided that we want to stop fostering and move near a beach or somewhere pretty. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but you are going to move out when you’re eighteen which is in four weeks.”

 

“Yes that is correct.” I nodded warily.

 

What about Darcy? Where is she going to go? She loves Lily and she’ll be heartbroken if she has to go to another foster home, or worse she could become an orphan. I shuddered at the thought.

 

“Now, I know that you and Darcy have only been here for a week, but I feel like Darcy is a special little girl. Did I ever tell you why we got into fostering kids?”

 

“No.” I shook my head, frowning.

 

Where was she going with this?

 

“I am unable to have children because of a birth defect, and I’d always wanted a kid, so I turned to fostering, but I’ve also wanted to just find a kid and adopt them. James and I have been to many adoption agencies around England, but I just haven’t found the perfect child. When I met Darcy I thought she was just the cutest thing, and she’s so polite and energetic. I knew she was what I wanted in a kid, so I’d like to adopt her, but I wanted to double check with you that that was okay.” She smiled, and I felt my lips twist up into a large grin.

 

“Of course! She will be so happy. Have you told her yet?”

 

“No, not yet, I wanted to make sure you were okay with it first. She really adores you.”

 

“Thank you for everything Lily.”

 

“You’re welcome. Can I ask you something though?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“How did Darcy’s biological parents die?”

 

“They were in a plane crash that no one survived. It happened about two years ago.” I frowned and glanced into the den where Harry was lying on the floor and Darcy was walking in circles around him.

 

“That’s terrible.” She whispered.

 

“It really is. She’s such a sweet girl. I’m glad that you want to adopt her, I was contemplating it when we were still with the Smiths because I didn’t want to leave her there without me to protect her.”

 

“You’re kind of like her big brother huh?” She chuckled.

 

“I guess you could say that.” I chuckled back.

 

“Well I’m going to start on dinner, we’re having tacos.” She bounced up from her chair and went over to the stove to begin cooking.

 

I went back into the den and this time Harry was walking around with his eyes closed and Darcy was giggling and running from him. I saw him peek a bit and laughed quietly to myself.

 

“Haz.” I whined.

 

“What is it Boo bear?” He said without opening his eyes.

 

Darcy giggled loudly and Harry ran to her touching her shoulder.

 

“Found you! I win.” He opened his eyes and she pouted.

 

“Come on I want the watch the sunset.” Wow, that came out a lot gayer than I expected.

 

“First the Titanic and now the sunset?” Harry wrapped his arms around my waist and placed a kiss on my chapped lips.

 

“Eww!” Darcy turned and ran to her room as Harry kissed me longer and harder.

 

“If we wait much longer it will be gone.” I pulled away and went to my room leaving him standing there.

 

I came back with a blanket and he raised an eyebrow, but I just grabbed his hand and pulled him into the backyard. The flowers made everything smell nice and the sun had just started to set. I spread the blanket on the ground and an understanding look crossed Harry’s face.

 

We lay down on the blanket and I put my head on his chest. We watched the sun go down in a comfortable silence. He played with my hair and I played with his fingers that were locked with mine.

 

When it was finally dark and the first stars were staring to appear in the sky alongside the moon I closed my eyes. I shivered and Harry pulled me even closer to him, while whispering into my ear.

 

“I love you Lou.”

 

“I love you to Haz.”


	22. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so a little bit of drama in here, but fluff as well :) Now before you get excited about all the happiness and drama lessness of these last few chapters, but be warned…You know what they say. This is the calm before the storm. So I want to have four more chapters after this which would end up being 25 chapters in all, so that’s what I’m aiming for. There will be lots of fluff until chapter 25. I’m going to be mean and leave you guys with a cliffhanger on that one. The next book should be up soon though, so don’t worry.
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading! I want you guys to know that I see each and every one of your comments and each one makes me smile!
> 
>  
> 
> **= time skip

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

Harry leaned down and rested his forehead against mine. I slung my arms around his neck and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him. He put his large hands on my hips and pulled me closer to him so that our chests were touching. We stayed in our embrace even after we pulled away for air. I reluctantly pulled away after a few minutes and pushed his chest gently.

 

“You should be going now. It’ll be dark if you wait much longer.” A tear rolled down my cheek and Harry used his thumb to wipe it away.

 

“I’ll be back soon, I promise.” He kissed me once more before turning and walking out the front door.

 

I watched his car drive away from the den. He was leaving me. Not forever, he was just going home. We both had school the next morning, and I’ve spent the last hour trying to convince him that he should leave before it gets too late. I wanted him to be safe on his way home, and I refused to let him drive home four hours in the dark.

 

When the street was empty I closed the door and stretched out on the couch. I turned the TV on but I wasn’t paying much attention to it. I could only think about the fact that I would have to go another week without Harry.

 

**

 

When I walked into school on Monday, I instantly spotted Jimmy talking to one of the class clowns, Kevin Lancer. He wasn’t exactly the most popular guy in school, but he wasn’t completely unpopular. He let me borrow a pencil once, so I just assumed he wasn’t stuck up like all the other rich kids at this school.

 

I sent Jimmy a small wave and he returned it with a smile, before going back to his conversation with Kevin. I decided to ask him about it during third period when Kevin, Jimmy, and I had History.

 

When I made it to my locker I noticed a purple sticky note on it. I plucked it off and stared at it as the words sank in. You’re such a fag. You should just go kill yourself. No one would care. I glanced down at my arm and pulled up my sleeve. There were the scars, the awful ones on my wrist, but worst of all there were the scars that spelled out ‘FAG.’ I shuddered and pushed my sleeve back down. Did everyone think I was a fag? Well Jimmy, Stan, and Harry couldn’t right? Right. I’m just stressing myself out over nothing.

 

I crumpled the note and threw it to the ground carelessly. When I got back to first period Jimmy was laughing and Stan was patting him on the back.

 

“Louis! Guess what?” Jimmy was practically bouncing up and down in his seat.

 

“What?” I raised an eyebrow.

 

“Me and Kevin are going on a date this Saturday!”

 

“Really? That’s great! I’m guessing that’s the straight guy you were crushing on.”

 

“Yep. I have three extra tickets to the Coldplay concert and I knew that was his favorite band, so I asked him if he wanted to go, and he said yes!” Jimmy was fan-girling and wasn’t ashamed.

 

“Jim, aren’t you forgetting to ask Louis something?” Stan laughed.

 

“Oh yeah! So now I have two extra tickets, so if you and Harry want to come you can. I’d love to meet the lad.”

 

“I’m sure I could get him to come, that’d be awesome, thanks. When’s the concert?”

 

“Next Wednesday. Concert starts at seven, we’ll pick you up. Where do you live?”

 

I gave him my address and we spent the rest of the period discussing our plans for Wednesday. I was so excited that by the end of first period I couldn’t wait to get home and call Harry.

 

When third period rolled around I smiled to myself as Kevin came to sit next to Jimmy. Hopefully they’ll be together soon, but then again it did take Harry two months to get to me. I’m a lot more complicated then Jimmy though so maybe it won’t take too terribly long.

 

Kevin even sat with us at lunch for the next few days, and by the end of the week some of his friends had joined us. We were no longer the gays that people wanted nothing to do with, although some still thought that way, most gave us a smile if they saw us in the hallway.

 

As soon as I started the short walk home I dialed Harry’s number and he picked up on the second ring.

 

“Hey babe.” He said cheerily.

 

“Someone’s in a good mood.” I teased.

 

“Yeah well, I can’t tell you why because that would ruin the surprise.”

 

“Haz, you know I hate surprises!”

 

“Which makes it even better.” I knew he was smirking.

 

“Whatever, look I need to ask you something.”

 

“Ask away.”

 

“So do you remember when I told you about Jimmy and Stan?”

 

“Yeah, I’m really glad you’ve made friends.”

 

“Yeah, they have two extra tickets for a Coldplay concert next Wednesday, and they said I could have one and bring someone. Would you please come?”

 

“Did you say Coldplay? They’re like one of my favorite bands, of course I’ll come.”

 

I sighed in relief. I had a small thought that he was going to say no. He couldn’t come over this weekend because the UKFA was coming over to check up on them and Harry had to be there for that.

 

“Yay! I’ll text you the details later okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

I talked to Harry for pretty much the rest of the day. I only hung up when Darcy came in and demanded my attention. Lily had told her the night before that she was going to be adopted and Darcy had been so excited she ran around the yard three times.

 

**

 

I paced back and forth in my living room as I waited for Harry to walk through the door, but he didn't. I stared down at the brace on my ankle. The hospital took off the cast a couple days ago, but I still have to wear the brace for two more weeks. All my other injuries have healed accept for the scars on my arm. I was so caught up in my thoughts that when must phone rang I jumped.

 

As soon as I saw the caller I.D. I picked it up.

 

"Harry, where are you? Stan is on his way here already."

 

"Relax Lou. I'm going to be a little late. I'll just meet you guys at the restaurant."

 

I sighed deeply and looked down at my feet again. I knew something would go wrong. I could never be happy for too long.

 

"I'm sorry. Please don't be upset." Harry sighed.

 

"I'm not." I mumbled.

 

The doorbell rang and I could see Stan peeking in through the small glass window.

 

"I know you are. I can hear it in your voice." Harry said quietly.

 

"I have to go, Stan is here." I hung up without another word.

 

I had hoped that Harry would get here early so we would have a chance to catch up, and do…things before going to meet with by friends, but obviously that didn’t happen.

 

I rushed to open the door and greeted Stan then went with him to his car. Jimmy and Kevin were already in the backseat so I got into the passenger side.

 

“Louis this is Kevin. Kevin this is Louis.” I shook Kevin’s hand politely and smiled.

 

“So where’s Harry?” Jimmy sat up.

 

“He said he was going to be late, so he’d just meet us at the restaurant.” I looked out the window, trying to hide the disappointment in my eyes.

 

“Okay.” Jimmy fell back against the seat and started chatting with Kevin who was laughing at every terrible pun Jimmy made while Stan rolled his eyes.

 

I frowned even deeper when I realized that that’s what Harry and I should be doing. I sighed again and pulled my coat tighter around my shoulders. The good thing was that Christmas break starts after next week and Harry will be coming to stay with me for a week and then I will go back with him for a week, and then we are going to buy a flat, or at least that’s the plan anyways.

 

“We’re here. Are you alright mate?” Stan nudged my shoulder gently and I nodded.

 

I opened my door to follow them inside the restaurant, but Stan stopped me, letting the other two get ahead of us.

 

“Look I know we’ve only known each other for two weeks, but if you need to talk I’m here for you.” Stan patted my shoulder before jogging to catch up with the others.

 

I smiled and followed them to the table. I noticed that Kevin and Jimmy kept sending each other smiles and giggling. They so like each other. Well I know Jimmy likes Kevin, but the question is does Kevin like Jimmy?

 

I was brought out of my thoughts by my thigh buzzing. I looked at my phone under the table and grinned when I saw the text.

 

 

Harry: I just pulled in. I can’t wait to see you!! Xx

 

 

  
I jumped up from the table and walked briskly to the front doors. When I saw the familiar mop of curls walking towards the door I couldn’t contain my happiness and I ran out to meet him. He smiled before wrapping me in a bone-crushing hug. I returned it and quickly pecked his lips. I pulled away and took his hand in mine.

 

“Come on, I want you to meet my friends.”

 

“Okay, but can I have a real kiss first, because I’m pretty sure your friends won’t want to see us snogging.” He laughed.

 

I shut him up by smashing our lips together and shoving my tongue into his mouth. We kissed for a good thirty seconds before I pulled away and drug him inside to our table.

 

“Guys, this is Harry. Harry, that’s Jimmy, Stan, and Kevin.” I pointed to each of them with the hand that wasn’t holding his.

 

“Hi Harry, Louis’s told us a lot about you.” I shot Stan a ‘shut up’ look while blushing, and he smirked.

 

“Aww Boo, you talk about me?” Harry kissed my cheek and sat down at the table, pulling me with him.

 

I sat back in my chair and squinted my eyes playfully at him. He just suppressed a laugh and turned back to the people around us. We easily settled into a conversation that went from football to Coldplay and then back to football. I wasn’t really listening; I was just staring at Harry as he talked in his deep, slow, and sexy voice.

 

When the waiter brought over our food I tore my gaze away from Harry’s plump pink lips that I wanted so desperately to kiss. I glanced around as I ate my fish and chips, but my gaze stopped when my eyes found Stan. He was glaring at Harry with a look of disgust on his face. He was glaring at my Harry and I just couldn’t have that so I shot him a quick text under the table.

 

 

Louis: Is there any reason you’re glaring at my boyfriend?

 

 

Stan looked down at his lap and I knew he was reading the text, because when he looked back up he had a guilty look on his face. His eyes darted to my face and I glared at him.

 

 

Stan: Louis there’s something I need to tell you, but don’t freak out okay?

 

 

Louis: okay…what is it?

 

 

Stan: I am…well I sort of like you as more than a friend ya know? I was afraid to tell you earlier, but seeing you with him is making me mad, and I just really needed to tell you. I’m sorry.

 

 

Louis: What!? I have a boyfriend who happens to be sitting next to me! How? When? Why?

 

 

Stan: I know, but I just don’t think he’s right for you, I think you’d be much happier with me. I don’t know how it happened, it just did. I realized it about three days ago actually. I like you because you’re funny, cute, smart, and you are so carefree.:)

 

 

Louis: No I would not be better with you. I’m happy with my current boyfriend thank you very much. Thank you for the compliments, but can we just forget about this? I don’t like you in that way.

 

 

Stan: Have you even tried or thought about me in that way? No we can’t just forget about this! To be honest, he looks like a loser, why would you even want to date him? I’d be so much better for you! :)

 

 

Louis: He isn’t a loser and I’m done talking to you! You clearly can’t take a hint so let me spell it out for you. I L-O-V-E H-A-R-R-Y. I D-O-N-T L-I-K-E Y-O-U! D-R-O-P I-T!

 

 

 

I closed out of my messages and glanced over at Harry. I was horrified to see he was glancing between the phone and me.

 

“I need to go to the bathroom.” He stood up and walked away with a pained expression on his face.

 

“See what you did!” I half-yelled at Stan.

 

I ran after Harry to the bathroom. When I opened the door, I immediately spotted him leaning against the wall with his head down and biting his lip. I walked to him and placed my hand on his shoulder. He looked up slowly and I saw that his eyes were shining with tears.

 

“Harry, I-“

 

“Don’t. He’s right. I am a loser.” Harry sniffed and dropped his gaze back to the ground.

 

“No he’s not. He couldn’t be more wrong, Harry you’re not a loser. I love you.”

 

“Do you remember when I told you that people don’t like me? Well, do you believe me now?” His voice broke at the end and I pulled him towards me.

 

His hand gripped my shirt as he sobbed onto my shoulder. I rubbed circles on his back and kissed his head multiple times, whispering comforting words into his ear.

 

“Don’t leave me.” He whimpered against my neck.

 

“I’ll always be yours.” I pushed him away and stood up on my tiptoes to kiss his forehead.

 

He smiled weakly and I brushed some tears away from his face. I took his hand and kissed it, making him smile wider. I smiled back and cupped his cheek, kissing him softly.

 

**

 

For the rest of the night Harry and I pretty much ignored Stan, but I did notice the hurt in his eyes. Harry stayed close to me the entire night and more often than not his arm was around me. I like it when he gets all possessive, wait that sounds wrong. Forget I thought that.

 

Coldplay was amazing in person, but a certain song made certain memories come back to my mind that made me want to curl up into a ball and cry. Harry must’ve noticed my discomfort because he turned me to face him and sang the words to me softly.

 

(Play song here)

 

 

“When you try your best, but you don’t succeed

 

When you get what you want, but not what you need

 

When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep

 

Stuck in reverse

 

And the tears come streaming down your face

 

When you lose something you can’t replace

 

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

 

Could it be worse?”

 

 

  
I put my arms around Harry’s neck and he put his around my waist as we swayed to the music.

 

 

“Lights will guide you home

 

And ignite your bones

 

And I will try to fix you”

 

  
I leaned my head onto his shoulder as he continued singing the words in his beautiful voice.

 

The thing is, Harry really did fix me. He put me back together and made me whole again. I will never be able to repay him for that. I pressed small kissed to his neck as the song finished and he kissed the top of my head.


	23. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N this takes place the week that starts the Christmas break. I skipped like a week and a half. I only have 3 chapters left after this so be prepared. The second book should be up shortly after.

“Louis, can you come here for a second please?” Lily called.

I pulled my lips away from Harry’s and moved off of his lap. He groaned and muttered something that sounded like ‘cock blocker.’ I rolled my eyes and went to see what Lily needed. I was glad I was wearing sweatpants; otherwise she would have been able to see the tent in my pants, talk about an awkward moment.

“There you are. Would you mind walking down to the park and getting Darcy?”

I nodded with a smile and walked back to my room. Harry was sitting in the same position, but his eyes were closed and he had his head leant back against the pillows. I walked quietly over to him and kissed his swollen lips gently. He used his hands to pull me closer to him, but I pulled back again. He groaned and frowned at me.

“I have to go get Darcy. Fancy going for a walk?” I held out my hand and he took it, finally getting up.

“Fine, but can I borrow some sweatpants.” He looked down at his tight skinny jeans awkwardly and I chuckled.

I found him a pair of black sweatpants and after he had changed we walked towards the park where Darcy was playing with her friend Abby.

“So are we going to finish what we started or am I going to have to take care of my little problem myself.” Harry whispered into my ear.

“We’ll finish when we get back.”

“Good, because I already know what I’m going to do to you.” Harry whispered seductively.

“Do tell.” I pressed myself closer to his side and we kept walking as he told me his plans.

“Well first I’m going to slam you against the bedroom wall, then I’m going to kiss you until you can’t breathe. Next I think I’ll give you a love bite. I’ll bite down on your collarbone and then suck and lick until you whine. After that I’ll palm you through your trousers and when you moan, I’ll slide down to my knees and-“

“Stop.” I said in a weak voice.

I was becoming painfully hard from his description, and I couldn’t take it anymore. He smirked and pressed a lingering kiss to my cheek. He’s still such a tease.

“Darcy! It’s time to go home!” I shouted at the little girl.

She turned around quickly and ran to us. She was half way there when she tripped over something and fell. I let go of Harry and ran over to help her up, that was when I noticed she was crying. I helped her up and set her on my hip.

“It’s okay. When we get home, I’ll get you a purple Band-Aid.” I looked over the scrape on her knee and winced.

“That’s my favorite color.” She mumbled into my shoulder.

“I know.” I smiled when a tiny smiled graced her lips.

Harry came up beside me and wrapped an arm around my waist. He used the other to push Darcy’s hair out of her face. He smiled at her and she poked one of his dimples and giggled.

By the time we got back to the house, Darcy was no longer crying and was laughing at a corny joke Harry had told her. I took her into the kitchen and Lilly fussed over her knee while Harry and I went back to my room to resume what we were doing before being interrupted.

I decided to tease him a little as payback so I lay on my bed and closed my eyes. I rolled onto my side and when Harry rolled me over and stared down at me I faked a yawn. I looked up with innocent eyes and tilted my head to the side a little.

“I’m tired Haz, let’s take a nap.”

“No. You promised we could finish.” Harry whined, crawling onto the bed beside me.

I yawned again and rolled onto my stomach, burying my face in the pillow. Maybe this will teach him to stop teasing me so much.

“Not now, maybe later.” I smirked into my pillow when he groaned.

“Come on, babe.” He kissed the back of my neck, making me shiver.

I really wanted to just let him have me, but what’s fun about that? Instead I just ignored him.

He nibbled on my earlobe and placed a kiss right underneath it, then he sucked a spot on the side of my neck and blew cold air on it. I flinched and rolled over to give him a sloppy kiss. He smiled proudly into it, so I pinched his bum for revenge.

He let out a surprised whine and I found myself being even more turned on by his little pants and whines.

I fiddled with his shirt buttons until they were all undone, then I ran my hands up and down his chest. He shrugged off the blue shirt and pulled my grey one over my head before sucking one of my collarbones. I gasped and buried my face in his hair as he bit down sharply on the skin.

He kissed it before reattaching our lips, letting them mold together. I rolled us over so that I was on top and kissed down his chest. When I reached his pants I used my teeth and tugged sharply on the tab, snapping them open. I tugged them down his long legs and kissed back up his thighs. I once again took his boxers between my teeth and tugged them down. He fisted the sheets with one hand and tangled the other in my hair.

I kitten licked at the head and then engulfed half of it in my mouth, creating a tighter suction as I went. I sucked for a few minutes until I was able to take him in all the way. I went down until my nose was pressed to his stomach.

He moaned loudly and I stopped sucking and came up to kiss his mouth lightly. I remembered that there were other people in the house and quickly made sure the door was locked.

“Shhh. We aren’t the only ones here, remember.” I whispered quietly against his lips.

He hummed in response, so I moved back down to his member and licked a stripe up it. I took his hands and placed them on my head, then I put my lips back around his member. He got what I was implying and his hips bucked up. I held back the gag as he fucked my mouth. He thrusted up multiple times into my mouth and I just let him do what he wanted.

With every buck he would make a small moaning noise. I watched in awe as his face scrunched up and then he would squeeze his eyes closed. I stopped when he was getting close to his high and pulled off with a ‘pop’ noise.

He groaned and kissed my swollen pink lips. He continued to kiss me as he unbuttoned my trousers and slid them down my legs along with my boxers.

“I want you to ride me.” He kissed me softly. “Can you do that for me baby?”

“Yeah.” I said breathlessly as he cupped my bum in his hands and squeezed it.

He brought two fingers up to my mouth, and I didn’t know what to do so I raised an eyebrow. What did he want me to do with them?

“Suck on them.” He said in a raspy voice.

I felt my cock twitch and took his fingers into my mouth. I licked and sucked on them until they were coated in saliva and then he pulled them out of my mouth and resumed kissing me.

I let out an unexpected gasp as he slid a finger into me and started pumping it. He slid another in moments later, and within seconds I was grinding back onto his fingers, needing more friction. Our erections were rubbing together and I didn’t think I was going to last much longer if Harry was going to keep teasing me this much.

He looked so hot with his lip between his teeth and the small beads of sweat on his forehead. His flushed cheeks and the little breathy moans made me want to pull out my hair, because It made me crazy.

He pulled out his fingers and I winced at the loss of contact. I sat up and positioned myself over Harry’s cock and slowly lowered myself onto it, squeezing my eyes shut and wincing as I finally had all of it inside of me. Harry tugged on my arm and I opened my eyes.

“You okay, babe?”

He looked adorable with his eyebrows scrunched up together like that, and I didn’t trust the words that would come spilling out of my mouth so I just nodded.

I was still for a moment as I adjusted, then I slowly moved up and dropped back down. I repeated this a few times until I was coming almost all the way off of it and then slamming back down completely with little grunts of approval from Harry. I moaned quite loudly when I found the right spot and circled my hips. I lifted back up, but Harry’s hands gripped my hips and held me in place. He thrusted his hips up into me and it took all of my self-control not to moan loudly.

“Mmm…feels, So…so good.” I panted.

He continued thrusting until I felt my excitement coming to an ultimate high.

“H-Harry, I-I’m gonna…I’m gonna-“

Harry pulled out and slammed into me hard and I wasn’t able to finish my sentence because I was focusing on my orgasm and how good I felt. Harry thrusted three more times and then he came too.

I winced when he pulled out and then I collapsed onto his chest, panting.

“I love you.” I said in a voice barely above a whisper.

“I love you too.”

I grabbed some tissues from the desk next to the bed and we cleaned ourselves up the best we could and laid back down. I rested my head on Harry’s shoulder and he put his chin on my head, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer, I threw my right leg over his and put my arm around his waist. It wasn’t long before his soft snoring lulled me to sleep.

**

“Lou. You gotta wake up.” Harry nudged my shoulder, but I ignored him and pretended to be asleep.

He poked my stomach and I had to fight back a smile, but I failed and he kissed my forehead.

“I know you’re awake, come on. Please. Get up!” He rolled away from me and I let out a small whimpering noise.

“I’m tired.” I mumbled into the pillow. “Can’t move.”

“Would you get up if I gave you a piggy back ride?” Harry prodded my shoulder and I opened my eyes.

“I’d considerate it.” I wiggled my eyebrows.

He stood up and pulled on some random clothes, before tossing me some. I pulled on the underwear and black jeans, but stopped when I saw I was holding Harry’s shirt.

“You know I have clothes in my dresser right?”

“Well yeah, but you look better in my clothes.” He blushed and looked down at his feet.

I blushed at his words. I love him so much it’s unhealthy.

“Come over here and turn around.” I pulled on the shirt and sat up as he put his back to me.

I put my arms around his neck and jumped. He grabbed the back of my knees and turned his face sideways so that he could see me. I kissed his cheek and chuckled when he started walking. When we made it to the kitchen I tapped his shoulder and he let me slide onto the floor.

I was feeling extra playful so I pinched his bum before going to the table. I momentarily forgot about last night’s events and gasped in pain when I sat down and my bum ached.

Harry smirked and I glared at him.

“Good morning!” Lily chirped, walking into the room.

“Morning.” I replied.

She sat two bowls of cereal in front of us and my stomach growled, making me realize how hungry I was.

Harry smiled at her and sat in the seat next to mine. I gave him a warm smile and started eating the bowl of cereal Lily brought me.

Harry claimed he had something to show me, so I let him get his laptop and then we went outside and sat on the porch swing. Harry lazily put his arm around my shoulder and used his other hand to pull up a web page.

“Haz? Is that a flat?” I looked at the screen again.

“Yeah, I was just looking at a couple and this one really caught my eye. Look this is the bedrooms.”

It was a lovely flat, the walls were a beige color and it had two bedrooms, already furnished. The beds both had black duvets and matching black dressers with a close. The master bedroom was a bit larger, with a connected bathroom though.

Harry clicked the next picture labeled ‘Living Room’. There was a black leather couch in the small living room space. A glass table sat in front of the couch and above the table was a TV mounted on the wall. To the side of all of that were two large sliding glass doors covered by white curtains that lead to a balcony. I’ve always loved balconies.

He clicked the arrow again and the kitchen came up. It was a really fancy kitchen that included a wine cooler and an ice maker. It had the normal stuff like a stove, microwave and fridge too.

“The kitchen is my favorite, you know, because I like to cook.” Harry smiled.

“This is amazing, I love it.”

“I knew you would!” Harry said proudly and kissed my cheek.

“Where is it exactly?” I asked hesitantly.

“Holmes Chapel, it’s about halfway between both of our homes now. It’s also pet friendly, so we can bring Larry. There’s an open house tomorrow and I was hoping we could go look at it.” Harry gave me the puppy dog eyes and I gave in.

“How much are they asking?”

“900 pounds a month.” Harry looked everywhere but my eyes, while answering.

“That’s not as bad as I thought it would be.” I tapped my chin thoughtfully.

That would mean we pay 450 pounds each every month. Of course I would be getting a job, and I already had about 3,000 pounds saved up, so this could maybe work. Harry seemed to really like this flat, and I can’t deny him something he wants.

“Let’s go look at it tomorrow yeah?”

“Yeah.” Harry smiled wide and I leaned in to give him a soft kiss.

Later that night when we were lying in bed I rolled over and faced Harry, needing to talk to him.

“If we do get the flat, what are we going to do about school?”

“I was thinking the same thing and I came up with three options. One, we keep going to our current schools and just get up two hours earlier so we can get there on time. Two, we get the flat, but stay at these houses until we finish school. Three, we both transfer to a school in Holmes Chapel.” Harry said without opening his eyes.

“I’m ruling out the first option, because I can barely get up in the mornings as is. I don’t like being away from you for long, so I’m not very keen on the second option. Would you want to transfer schools?”

“I’ll do whatever makes you happy.” Harry opened his eyes and grinned lovingly.

“We’ll look for a school in Holmes Chapel tomorrow then. Goodnight Hazza.” I nuzzled my face under his chin and sighed in content.

“Goodnight Boo.” Harry shifted so that he was holding me closer to him.

I still can’t believe he’s mine. I can’t believe that just three months ago I was living in a crap hole and being abused daily. I can’t believe that just three months ago I didn’t know Harry or Darcy.

I’m so glad he came along. He changed my life.


	24. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I’m so sorry for this chapter, but it had to happen sooner or later! Don’t hate me, it’s Stan’s fault! *Hides behind Stan* Ps. I’m going to start ending the chapters with a quote an I’ll probably go back and add quotes for the others later.
> 
>  
> 
> It’s kind of short, but I needed to end it there, and I’m so sorry. :’(

“If you follow me down this hall, we will end up in the master bedroom.” The nice lady instructed for us to follow her.

 

Harry and I were walking behind the other couple who were looking around skeptically. I didn’t think they were going to buy it. The flat was fabulous in my opinion and I was seriously considering getting it. Living with Harry would be amazing and I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. As if he were reading my thoughts, he took my hand and tangled our fingers together.

 

We reached the room and stepped inside. I was barely listening as she went on and on about the details of the room and other boring stuff. My eyes locked on the seat below the window and my eyes widened. I’d always wanted a window seat in my house. I gave Harry’s hand a squeeze and he looked down slightly me.

 

“It has a window seat.” I whispered while grinning and nodded my head towards the window.

 

Harry grinned back and kissed me quickly.

 

“And that concludes our tour, if you will follow me back to the living room I will show you out, or hopefully you could fill out some paperwork that will make this flat yours.” She plastered on a fake smile.

 

I nudged Harry with my elbow and when he looked at me again I nodded my head. He understood what I was trying to say and smiled.

 

“We’ll take it.” Harry looked back at the couple in front of us who were turning to leave.

 

“Brilliant, I’ll get the papers and you can just take a seat on the couch. I’ll be right back.”

 

**

 

I walked into the elevator with the final box in my hands. Harry and I had been moving our stuff for over four hours and I was exhausted. Luckily we had found a school around the corner and transferred there.

 

It was a nice school, the people were a little rude, but that was expected. Besides, Harry was always there to protect me. Somehow we had ended up with all of the same classes except two. Gym and English, they were switched.

 

I walked through the open door and into our bedroom. Harry was bent over a box, pulling out things and then putting them into drawers. I smiled at his concentrated expression and kissed his cheek.

 

“Here’s the last one.” I dropped the box, knowing it wasn’t anything breakable.

 

“Thank god.” Harry muttered, folding up my favorite blue and white striped shirt and sticking it into a drawer beside my tan trousers.

 

I helped him unpack the rest of our things and then we went into our living room. Harry sat down on the end of the couch and I laid my head in his lap, sprawling my legs out in front of me. He put his hand into my hair and twisted it around his fingers subconsciously as he stared out the balcony doors.

 

I watched him for a few minutes. He was obviously deep in thought, I could tell by the way he hadn’t blinked in a while and his eyebrows were scrunched up together. I reached with my arm and touched his cheek with my palm. His cheek was warm and made my hand tingle.

 

He broke out of his trance and stared down at me, his eyes softening as he did.

 

“What are you thinking about?” I dropped my hand and took his so I could tangle our fingers together.

 

“How lucky I am to have you.” He leaned down and rubbed his nose against mine in an eskimo kiss and then gave me a quick peck on my lips.

 

“I love you.” I finished with a yawn.

 

“I love you too. Let’s go to bed, you look tired.” Harry brushed my hair out of my eyes and I stood up.

 

This would be our first night sleeping in our flat. Our flat. I like the sound of that.

 

“Me too.” Harry grinned.

 

“What?” I looked up in confusion.

 

“I like the sound of that too.”

 

“I said that out loud?” I stopped in my tracks and stared up at him with wide eyes.

 

Harry started laughing and wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed my temple. I blushed and looked away from him. Since when do I think aloud?

 

**

 

I woke up the next morning in our bed, but Harry wasn’t there. I got up warily and looked around the flat, calling his name a few times. No answer. He wasn’t in the flat. I went back to our room and checked my phone. Sure enough, there was a text from Harry.

 

 

Harry: Had to take care of some things. I’ll be back soon.

 

 

 

That was strange. Harry always ended his messages with ‘Love you!’ or ‘xx’ I typed back a quick reply and changed into some sweatpants and a t-shirt.

 

I went for a short walk with my I-pod and when I got back Harry was sitting at his piano and playing a familiar tune and singing along.

 

“And I don't want the world to see me

 

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

 

When everything's meant to be broken

 

I just want you to know who I am

 

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

 

Or the moment of truth in your lies

 

When everything feels like the movies

 

Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.”

 

  
I took a step closer and saw that his eyes were closed and a few tears were coming from his eyes. I immediately stepped forward and put my arms around his shoulders and hugged him from behind. He abruptly stopped singing and playing and shrugged out of my embrace. He opened his eyes, but they weren’t the warm and inviting emerald they always were, they were a dull, cold green. He glared at me and I felt my knees wobble under his intense gaze. He had never looked at me like that before, that was how he looked at Eleanor. He hates Eleanor, so does this mean he hates me? Oh god, what did I do? I knew I’d finds some way to screw this up.

 

I stepped forward and went to put a hand on his shoulder, but he caught my wrist and I tried to pull it away, because it was my hurt wrist and he was squeezing it tightly. I felt the fear rush through me as I realized he wasn’t letting go and he was just glaring at me. I shrunk down and suddenly it felt like he was five feet taller than me. It was exactly how I felt around Mr. Smith. I pushed that thought to the back of my head and ignored his cold glare. My heart was hammering in my chest as I finally managed to speak.

 

“Har-“

 

“How could you?” He spat dropping my wrist and walking back to our bed.

 

I saw the black suitcase sitting there and I panicked when I noticed it was full of his clothes. No, he can’t leave. I don’t even know what I did? What’s happening? I looked around frantically, hoping to see something that would give me a clue, but I found nothing.

 

“W-What? Where are you going?” I said in a small voice.

 

“Don’t play dumb with me!” He yelled, spinning around and balling his fists.

 

What the hell is going on? What did I do and why is he so mad? I took a step back. The harshness in his voice hit me like a knife. His voice was always so soft and gentle towards me. What changed?

 

“I seriously don’t know, Harry please.” I begged, daring to take a step closer.

 

He gave me a disgusted look and shook his head, sighing and zipping up his suitcase. I glanced nervously over his shoulder and saw that his drawers were emptied of all clothing. No, this can’t be happening.

 

“What did I do?” My voice cracked on the last word, but Harry showed no sign of sympathy.

 

“You know damn well what you did!” He slung the suitcase over his shoulder.

 

“No I don’t. Tell me!” I said in a weak voice.

 

My mind was spinning and I could hardly breathe. Harry was mad at me and I didn’t know what for. The hate in his eyes was making me want to curl up in the fetal position and cry into my hands. I would be there soon; my knees were already threatening to give out.

 

Harry snorted and pulled out his phone, turning it on and showing me the picture on it. I gasped and put a hand over my mouth. My eyes widened and I couldn’t hold back the surprised noise that came from my mouth. I stared at the image and tried to figure out exactly where he got that, and how it was even there, I never did that, so why is there a picture of me doing it?

 

“B-but, I didn’t…that’s not, what? How did…I-I-“

 

“You what Louis? I trusted you, I thought you loved me!” Harry was now crying as well, but he was shaking with anger, while I was shaking in fear.

 

“I didn’t do that.” I whispered, pleading with him to believe me.

 

“Then explain to me how I have a picture of you kissing Stan!” Harry stomped his foot and started towards the door.

 

“No.” I couldn’t make my voice any louder as I sobbed and my knees gave out. “Please, don’t leave me! I didn’t-“

 

I was cut off by the loud slam of the door. I crawled over to the window seat and pulled myself up onto it. I watched through tear-filled eyes as Harry’s car backed out of the parking lot and drove away. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and stared out the window, hoping and praying this was all a dream and that I would wake up in Harry’s arms. After three hours, I realized it wasn’t a dream and that Harry had really left me. It hit me like a truck and I felt the pain suffocate my entire body.

 

But I didn’t kiss Stan. I know the picture looked like it, but I think I would remember doing that. It wasn’t possible. Where did he even get that picture? Whoever sent it to him just ruined my life. They took away my everything. My whole world just walked right out of our flat. He left and he took a piece of my heart with him. It felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest and then stomped on.

 

I sat in the window seat thinking until the sun went down, and then I realized that I would have to face reality.

 

Harry isn’t coming back.

 

He will. That little voice whispered. I sighed and sat back against the pillows. I’ll be waiting here until he comes back. I’ll be here waiting.

 

Please come back Harry.

 

****

"Don’t make someone your everything, because when they leave you are left with nothing."


	25. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I’m so sorry again for that last chapter! This one is depressing, just a warning. I wanted to cry while writing it so…yeah. This is going to be long because I’ll be doing a lot of POVs. If I’m switching then it will be signaled by *** three stars. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Don’t kill me after this chapter please. *Hides behind Jimmy* After this you will all love Jimmy, still gonna hate Stan though, sorry, not sorry.  
> -Claire xx

December 16th 2012

Have you ever felt like curling into a ball and staying like that forever? Have you ever wanted to go to sleep and never wake up? Have you ever wanted to just disappear? Have you ever cried so much there’s no water left to cry anymore? Have you ever felt so tired, but you can’t sleep? Have you ever felt like you’ve fallen into a hole, but nobody will help you out? Have you ever felt so alone and nothing makes sense? Well that’s how I feel right now…I feel like I’m facing everything myself, with nothing but dried tears and a fake smile.

I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of yelling. I’m tired of being sad. I’m tired of pretending. I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of being angry. I’m tired of acting crazy. I’m tired of feeling stuck. I’m tired of needing help. I’m tired of remembering. I’m tired of missing things. I’m tired of being different. I’m tired of missing people. I’m tired of feeling worthless. I’m tired of feeling empty inside. I’m tired of not being able to let go. I’m tired of wishing things could just start over. I’m tired of dreaming of a life that I will never have. But most of all, I’m just tired of being tired.

I’m ready to end it all.

 

I finished writing and hugged the notebook to my chest, staring out the window of my flat. It’s been four days since Harry left, and they have been miserable. My wrists that were almost completely healed are now marked again with fresh cuts. I had scrubbed away the hearts first, because I couldn’t bear to break them even more. The majority of this time was spent on the window seat, staring at the ground below, and waiting for Harry to come home, but he never did.

I hadn’t slept or eaten since he left. I just couldn’t. I would set the food in front of me, but it made me want to puke. I would lay awake in bed for hours, before returning to the window seat or to write in my journal. I didn’t do anything that involved moving unless it was necessary.

I’ve always written in a journal when I’m upset. It usually makes me feel better, but right now it’s not helping at all. I threw it down to the ground and put my head in my hands. I knew I wouldn’t cry because I had nothing left to cry.

I had turned my phone off two days after Harry left, because every time it would go off I would run to it, hoping that it was Harry apologizing.

It never was.

I eventually turned it off, because of the let downs. It had gotten so bad that I would imagine hearing it ringing and run to it, only to find that it wasn’t. I didn’t need to add that to the list of things wrong with me.

Larry is another constant reminder that Harry left. I don’t mind though, because at least he still loves me, I think. He is currently sleeping by my feet. I rubbed the fur between his ears and he started purring and crawled into my lap. I continued stroking him as I looked back out the window.

I’m fucked up and no one seems to notice. I’m sad and no one seems to notice. I’m disappearing and no one seems to notice. I’m dying and no one seems to notice. I’m falling apart and no one seems to notice.

I sighed and moved Larry off of my lap. I went into the kitchen and grabbed the last bottle of Vodka we had left. I had already drunk the other two.

Why are you still here? Great now I’m hearing things.

He does have a point though. What’s left? Nothing.

I pulled the picture of Harry and me from the frame and walked into my bathroom. I set the bottle down on the counter next to the picture. I pulled out the blade and set it down next. I turned around and searched through the medicine cabinet until I found Harry’s sleeping pills. I set them next to the blade and sighed looking down at all of the things. I grabbed my phone from my dresser and turned it on. I ignored the twelve missed calls and three texts and went right to my music library. I put the song Harry wrote for me on repeat and set it down on the counter.

Harry gave up on me. I knew he would, I can never be happy. But that’s okay, because I gave up on myself a long time ago.

 

“I want what I can’t have, I wanna make you mine, I don’t care what it takes  
I’m fearless with my heart, I’ll take it any place, I don’t care if it breaks.”

 

When I look at the mirror, I don’t know who I see anymore. The person I see is broken and disgusting. I shudder at the thought and pop open the Vodka and take a big gulp. I tossed the pill into my mouth and swallowed. The burning in my throat stung, but it felt good at the same time. I set it back down and go back to my thoughts.

Sometimes I think it’s better to be alone, that way no one can hurt you.

 

“I wanna tell you things I’d never tell myself  
These secrets hurt like hell, oh  
Call me crazy, maybe I'm insanely out of my mind but it'll never faze me  
If I have to, I'm not afraid to save my heart for you.”

I hadn’t even realized I had picked up the blade. I watched with awe as the crimson blood trailed off of my fingertips. I hadn’t meant to cut that deep; I wanted this to be slow and painful. If I was going to die, I wanted it to be slow and painful, the way I deserved it.

 

“I'm a rebel even if it's trouble, I'ma pull you out from the rubble  
If I have to, I'm not afraid to save my heart for you.”

 

I twitched as Harry’s voice became more prominent over the pounding of my heart. Gulp. The pill and Vodka slid down my throat slowly, leaving behind a burning sensation.

 

“Tell me I'm wrong, Turn around and run  
Still I'm gonna save my heart for you”

 

These moments when I’m alone in my room are the ones that kill me. All these thoughts going through my head make me want to scream. All these emotions wanting to get out, I just want to scream and cry, but then I realize that won’t do anything. It won’t help me, after all what can help me? Slice.

 

“I know you want me too, Even if it's not now, I'm gonna wait it out  
But don't you dare forget that moment that we had, I know we both felt it”

The hardest thing about this world is living in it. It’s a good thing I don’t plan on staying much longer. Gulp.

This is what happens when you let people into your life, they destroy it. Slice.

I felt my head begin to pound and my eyes droop as the pills, alcohol, and blood loss started to take effect. I ignored it and kept going.

***

Jimmy’s POV

I saw Stan smirking to himself as he sat on my bed. He turned to me and raised an eyebrow. He had called me a few minutes and said he needed to tell me something important. I was pretty curious so I agreed and he came over.

“So what did you want to talk about mate?” I sat on the bed next to him

“He will be mine, I made sure of it.” He laughed evilly.

“Who and what are you talking about?”

 

 

“Louis, and I got rid of Harry, so he’s all mine now.” He sighed happily.

“Okay…how exactly did you ‘get rid’ of Harry?”

“I photo shopped a picture that made it look like Louis and I were kissing and sent it to Harry. I saw him leaving the flat with a suitcase in his hand a half hour later.” He smiled proudly.

“YOU WHAT?!” I sprung off the bed with my eyes wide open.

“Pretty good Idea if I do say so myself.” He crossed his ankles and smirked.

“That’s horrible, how could you?” I screamed at him.

I thought I knew Stan better than that. Why would he even think of doing that to Louis? Anyone could tell that Louis was hopelessly in love with Harry. Oh my god I have to do something! Louis is my friend and this isn’t right!

“I want him.” He shrugged.

“You are a monster! Get out of my house now!” I pointed to the door with a shaky finger.

Stan scoffed and walked out of my room. I quickly whipped out my phone and put in Harry’s number.

“Hello?” Answered a groggy voice.

I was so relieved to hear his voice, and I just hoped he wouldn’t hang up before I got the chance to explain.

“Hey, Harry it’s Jimmy, please don’t hang up. I need to tell you something.” I chewed at my fingernail.

“What?” It sounded like he had been crying, and I could understand why.

“The picture wasn’t real. Stan told me about it. He photo shopped it. Louis never kissed Stan, I swear.”

“Is this some kind of sick joke?” He growled.

“No, it’s not. I’m so sorry, I had no idea he-“ The line went dead in the middle of my sentence.

***

Harry’s POV

Jimmy’s call had roused me from my thoughts of hopelessness and pain, but this new information was causing even more pain as I remembered Louis lying on the floor crying and begging me not to leave. He said he didn’t do it, I should have believed him. I feel like such a prick right now.

I have to go find him. I need to tell him how sorry I am and beg him to forgive me. These last few days have been awful, just downright terrible. I haven’t been able to do anything aside from lay in my bed and cry. I had come back to Jane and Sam’s house when I left. I ignored everyone and stayed in my room. I had written a song, but it was for Louis. I knew that when I saw him again I would sing it for him, who knows when that will be.

I stood up slowly and ignored my aching joints and grabbed my keys. I’m going home. I’m going to go back to Louis.

I had been driving for an hour when I got Jimmy’s second call. He sounded hysterical and I panicked.

(Play song here)

“H-Harry y-you have t-to hurry! He’s…L-Louis is-“He sobbed cutting off his own sentence.

“He’s what?” I pushed him.

“I f-found him on the floor, he’s b-bleeding bad…empty bottle of alcohol…b-blades…picture and song.” He was becoming incoherent.

My heart constricted in my chest. Is this what having a heart attack feels like? As if the world was punishing me, a song came on the radio that made me want to rip my hair out while kicking and screaming.

 

“All my days, spent by the telephone that never rang  
All I needed was a call that never came to the corner of first and Amistad.  
Lost and insecure, You found me, you found me, Lying on the floor, Surrounded, surrounded  
Why’d you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?  
Just a little late, You found me, you found me.”

The world must really hate me. That song was the worst possible song that could come on and yet it relaxed me somehow.

“Harry are you there?” Jimmy’s voice was distant, but I could hear people talking in the background. “He’s breathing, but they’re taking him into critical care. Meet us at Holmes Chapel Hospital.” With that the phone, line went dead and I could only drive silently as the words of “ You Found Me” by The Fray seeped into my heart and tore it apart some more.

 

“In the end everyone ends up alone, losing him  
The only one who’s ever known who I am, who I’m not, and who I wanna be  
No way to know how long he will be next to me.”

 

I always heard him and he instead of her and she as the song played on. After an agonizing hour and a half of driving I made it to the hospital and rushed through the doors, not caring if people stared.

“I need to see Louis Tomlinson!” I barked at the desk lady.

“He’s up in the ICU in room 413.” She pointed towards a hallway and I sprinted down it.

I swung open the door and ran to the side of the bed.

Louis’s skin was paler than I had ever seen it, almost as white as the walls that were closing in around me. His eyes were closed, but I could tell from their redness and puffy look that he had been crying for quite some time. He had dark circles under his eyes, and he looked to have lost a few pounds. I felt the guilt rush through me and I collapsed onto the bed next to him. I hugged him tightly and cried onto his chest.

“I’m so sorry Lou. I’m so, so, so sorry.” I kissed his face everywhere, hoping to get a response, but he was limp.

“He won’t wake up for a few more hours, sir. It’s a miracle he’s even alive. Even ten minutes later and he would be dead right now.” The doctor looked at us sympathetically.

“What exactly happened? Like I know he tried to…” I trailed off, not wanting say the words.

He had tried to kill himself, because of me, because I left him, because I was selfish, because I didn’t believe him. I should have trusted him, then maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess.

“He slit his wrists, drank half a bottle of Vodka and took probably half a dozen pills, before he passed out on the floor. I’m sorry I have to tell you this, but your picture was lying on the counter.” He picked up and piece of paper with blood on the corner of it and I instantly recognized it as the one we had taken in front of the flat when we bought it. That was only one week ago.

“Does the song, ‘Save My Heart’ mean anything to you?” The doctor set the picture back down and looked up questionably.

I gulped nervously. Please don’t be what I think it is. Please. I felt like throwing up, and I knew this was going to send me over the edge.

“Yes, I wrote it for him. Why?”

The doctor looked at Louis before speaking.

“When the paramedics arrived on seen, that song was playing on repeat.”

Maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe it was the lack of food. Maybe it was the shock. Maybe it was the fear. Maybe it was the guilt. Maybe it was the anger. Maybe it was the sadness. Maybe it was a combination of all these things, but whatever it was made my entire world come spiraling down into an empty darkness.

***

Louis’s POV

The first thing I noticed was a faint beeping. I blinked my eyes open and saw a figure sitting in the corner of the room. I panicked for a moment, thinking it was Harry. He couldn’t see me like this.

Then it hit me. I’m in a hospital, I had failed. I was supposed to die, what happened?

“Hey Lou, how are you?” The boy I recognized as Jimmy came to stand by the bed and smiled sheepishly down at me.

“Why am I still alive?” I blurted out.

I didn’t miss the shock on Jimmy’s face as he looked at the doctor who had just come in. He ran some tests before leaving us alone again. Jimmy retold me the story of how he found me on the floor, and saved me. I hated him for it.

“I called Harry and explained to him that the picture wasn’t real. He started crying and came back, but you were unconscious. Then, he fell onto the bed and sobbed into your chest about how sorry he was and then the doctor told him what you had done and he just passed out right there on the bed next to you.”

I looked up in horror at Jimmy. My mouth felt like it was filled with cotton and my stomach was doing backflips. He came back.

“I don’t want to see him.” I coughed.

“What? Why not? That’s why…isn’t it?” Jimmy gestured around during the pause in his sentence.

“Yes, and that’s exactly why I don’t want to see him. He ruined everything. He made my life so miserable I wanted to end it, so I don’t want to ever see him again.” I closed my eyes again and let sleep overtake me as Jimmy stood there in shock.

I hadn’t even realized I felt that way until I said it out loud, but it was true. He made my life a living hell, then he thinks he can make up for it by saying he’s sorry. No, just no.

***

Harry’s POV

Louis’s been in the hospital for two days. It’s been a day since Jimmy told me what he said. I thought I had hit my low when I left, but now I was at rock bottom. I paced around our bedroom, thinking of a way to fix this. I need to, I have to fix this. I stopped as my foot sent something flying across the floor.

I bent over and picked up the notebook, flipping it open and staring at the familiar handwriting. It seemed to be some kind of journal. My heart filled with dread as I read a few things. I flipped to the date of when I left and started to read.

 

December 13th 2012

What did I do? What have I done? Nothing. I did nothing, but he doesn’t believe me. He doesn’t trust me. He left, taking everything I had with him, because he was all I had.

I thought we would last forever. He said we would. Well, that was a lie. It was all just a bunch of lies. That’s all my life is, just a tangled web of lies.

I thought he was special. I thought he would always be there for me. I thought he trusted me. I thought he loved me. I thought he cared about me. I thought he would do anything for me. I thought he would protect me. I thought he would never leave me.

I was wrong.

Reality is like a prison.

 

A tear dropped onto the page and the ink smeared where I tried to wipe it away. I knew he was talking about me. This was written the day after I left. I couldn’t believe what I had done. He trusted me, and he thinks I lied to him. He thinks I don’t care about him. He couldn’t be more wrong. Even when I left I didn’t stop loving him, I was just angry, but I still loved him deeply.

I flipped the page and read the next entry. The first few seemed to be poems.

 

December 14th 2012

Night

Every night before bed,  
I cut myself till my arms turn red.  
Blood drips down,  
I feel better now.  
If only it was deeper though.  
I tell myself as I go,  
For a deeper and sharper razor I own,  
Boy I never thought I be this alone.  
I was happy once and smiled a lot,  
But when the night falls I get hit hard, a lot.  
I cry myself to sleep at night,  
I’m so tired of this fight.  
If only they knew what I thought about at night.

 

Sticks and Stones

Sticks and Stones may break my bones  
But words can also hurt me  
Sticks and stones break only skin  
While words are ghosts that haunt me  
Pain from words have left their scars  
On a mind and heart that’s tender  
Cuts and bruises have healed.  
It is words that I remember.

 

Since when does Louis write poetry? This stuff is depressing, but I can’t stop reading it. I settled on the window seat and read the next one. My tears were falling freely now, but I couldn’t stop reading.

 

I feel like I just keep disappointing everyone, maybe that’s why they all leave. I've been forgotten. Some people see me and say ‘what's your problem?’ My answer is simple. People. People have ruined my life. I feel like I bother people just by being alive

I'm tired of looking in the mirror and hating what I see. I would give anything to feel comfort in my own skin, but I don’t. My life is a constant repetition of hide the scars, hide the sadness, hide the pain. I don't think anyone could hate me more than I hate myself. I don’t like myself, and I don’t think I ever will. I’m nothing.

The pain never stops. There's no escape. Things just seem to get worse and worse. Maybe one day it will be ok again. That’s all I want. I just want to be ok again. Another cut. Another tear. Another reminder, that no one is here.

I used to listen to songs about suicide and think they’d never apply to me. I was wrong once again. I’m always wrong. Whenever I’m walking down a side walk, I day dream about a very nice person who drives a truck into me and takes me away from this miserable place. To be honest, I just want to sleep. Forever. It’s horrible to think waking up is the worst feeling in the world. I don’t want to live anymore. I don’t care if I die or not, I just don’t want to live. It’s an awful thing to realize the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. When I was little, death was my biggest fear. Now, it’s my biggest wish. When will it end? When will I be free?

 

I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand. I knew Louis was sad, but I never thought about him being this depressed, and from the looks of this notebook he’s been this way for a while. I cleared the tears from my eyes so I could read again.

 

December 15th 2012

Have you ever felt yourself just break inside into a million pieces? You can’t help but just try your hardest not to let people see that you’re not whole anymore, that you’re just a bunch of broken pieces of what used to be a happy person.

Look at me, just look at me… Do I really look happy? Look at my arms, my legs, my ankles, my wrists. Still think I look happy. Every day is a battle with myself, yet I can fake a FUCKING SMILE and you all think I’m just fine. Well I’m not. I’m in more pain then I’ve ever been in and all I want to do is take that blade to my wrist one last time, take that one last pill, and just end it. I just want to end all the tears, all the scars, all the bruises, and all the pain. Try and tell me I looked so happy and was always smiling when you look at my cold dead body. That’s when I’ll look happy.

I can’t explain what is wrong. I can’t explain how I feel. I really don’t know what is happening with me anymore. This has been going on for too long now. These horrible thoughts are here too often. I can’t control them. I can’t stop them. I’m scared of myself.

“The blade falls to the floor  
Lying in a sea of red  
Don’t worry, darling  
You’re almost dead  
Just close your eyes  
And drift away   
Don’t worry, darling  
You won’t live to see another day”

Sometimes I want to slam my head into a wall, just so I can stop thinking about this shit. My head is a very dark place. Do you know what it’s like to be tortured by your own mind?

 

I feel so bad for not noticing this before? How could I let this happen? I’m going to get him help when he gets out of the hospital tomorrow. I’ll make him forgive me and everything will be fine right?

 

December 16th 2012

Do you ever get that feeling that you are just completely numb? You’ve been crying for hours on end and once you’ve stopped even for ten minutes there’s no feeling. No despair, no pain, no happiness, no frustration, nothing. It’s within that moment that you really don’t feel alive. You don’t feel anything, so why bother being here if you don’t feel anything? It’s within these moments where I get sudden flash backs of everything I’ve done wrong in my life and everything I’ve messed up. I just sit there with my thoughts feeling nothing and just absolutely worthless. In just an hour staring at a blank wall with this feeling and I can honestly say there was more brain activity in this one hour than there has been in my life. Looking at life itself in the point of view, well you see the world a lot differently than you thought. You begin to ponder what purpose do I have here and all sorts of other questions with no explanations to them.

Why do I keep thinking someone will save me? Tell me they love me and that I’m important? I don’t know how I got this way… I can’t take it… It hurts so badly. Maybe I’m one of those people who just isn’t strong enough.

I actually fucking hate myself so fucking much. Can I be anyone but me? Please? I’m so fucking ugly, my face is absolutely disgusting, the scars are so ugly as well…you would think I would stop cutting because of this but NO. I am a fucking dumbass and can’t do anything right. I’m so dumb and I mess everything up. I really don’t want to be here anymore, I really don’t …. I need to escape my head; I need to be saved from myself… Just let the pain end.

This is scaring me to no end, but I can’t tear my eyes away from the pages. There was one last paragraph below that one, and I guessed it was the one he wrote write before trying to kill himself. I was shaking as I read the last words.

 

Have you ever felt like curling into a ball and staying like that forever? Have you ever wanted to go to sleep and never wake up? Have you ever wanted to just disappear? Have you ever cried so much there’s no water left to cry anymore? Have you ever felt so tired, but you can’t sleep? Have you ever felt like you’ve fallen into a ten foot hole, but nobody will help you out? Have you ever felt so alone and nothing makes sense? Well that’s how I feel right now…I feel like I’m facing everything myself, with nothing but dried tears and a fake smile.

I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of yelling. I’m tired of being sad. I’m tired of pretending. I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of being angry. I’m tired of acting crazy. I’m tired of feeling stuck. I’m tired of needing help. I’m tired of remembering. I’m tired of missing things. I’m tired of being different. I’m tired of missing people. I’m tired of feeling worthless. I’m tired of feeling empty inside. I’m tired of not being able to let go. I’m tired of wishing things could just start over. I’m tired of dreaming of a life that I will never have. But most of all, I’m just tired of being tired.

I’m ready to end it all.

 

I put down the book gently and pulled the duvet over me. It smelled strongly of Louis, and that coaxed me into sleep.

****

“Nothing hurts more than realizing you hurt the one you care most about.”


	26. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Here it is! The last chapter :( I really didn’t plan on ending it like I did, but it just sort of happened. My fingers have a mind of their own. It’s short, because I didn’t need to put anything else, and that’s where our story ends my friends. The second book ‘Trust’ will be up soon.
> 
>  
> 
> Again I’m so sorry about this chapter, please, please, please don’t hate me. I want to say that things will get better, but I don’t know if they will…
> 
>  
> 
> Also listen to the song as you read! It’s Last Kiss by Taylor Swift! <3
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> 
> Enjoy xx

Louis’s POV

 

I walked through the silver double doors of the hospital and called a cab to take me home. I paid the driver the correct amount of money and went to my flat on the fourth floor. I opened the door and slipped off my TOMs. I was emotionally drained and I just wanted to sleep. I still can’t believe I messed up yet again. Maybe next time I’ll do it right. Maybe next time I won’t wake up.

 

I opened the door to my room and since it was already dark outside I felt my limbs get heavier, so I jumped onto my bed. I landed on something hard and heard a scream. Two screams actually, one from me, the other from the lump I landed on.

 

I shot up and stood there. The last person I expected to see in my bed was Harry Styles. He sat up quickly and I noticed my notebook fall onto the floor. Had he read it? Anger boiled inside of me. That was none of his business!

 

“Lou.” Harry whispered.

 

I could see the tear tracks on his face from where the tears had dried, and his hair was a tangled mess. I probably looked worse, but that wasn’t the point. Why had he been crying? Oh yeah, Stan said he came to the hospital, but I didn’t think he’d come back here. My face paled, because I remembered that he lived here.

 

I was so caught up in my mental argument that I didn’t notice him move closer to me until his arms wrapped around me and pulled me in for a hug. I immediately shoved him away and it felt as if my anger was brought out in that one moment.

 

“Don’t fucking touch me!” I hissed.

 

“Lou, please just let me explain.” Harry said in a calm voice, but I could tell he wasn’t calm at all.

 

“There’s nothing to explain! You don’t trust me! I told you I didn’t do it, but you didn’t believe me!” I shouted, letting the tears fall. “You made me try to kill myself!” The reality of what I had done finally sunk in and I slid down the wall and put my head on my knees.

 

I’m really am worthless. I can’t do anything right. I’m utterly pathetic.

 

“Louis I-“ Harry started.

 

“Because you left, just like the rest. You promised me you’d never leave me, but you did. You decided to give up on me, so I gave up on me too. You don’t care about me.” I whimpered.

 

“I do Louis! I do, I swear. I love so fucking much it hurts! Every day I’m not with you feels like an eternity, and when Stan called and told me that you tried to kill yourself and he wasn’t sure if you were going to make it, I wanted to kill myself, because I knew it was my fault.” Harry’s voice cracked on the last words and the tears started streaming down his flushed cheeks.

 

“Then why did you leave?” I shouted.

 

“Put yourself in my position. What would you have done if you saw a picture of me and someone else kissing? Would you have been okay with it?” Harry raised his voice and I cringed.

 

“No, I guess I wouldn’t.” I whispered.

 

I thought about what he said. He was right; I would have done the same thing. Except I would have probably punched the guy who kissed Harry before I left.

 

“Please forgive me.” His voice was low and gravely.

 

“I forgive you, but I don’t know if I can do this anymore.” I looked to the floor to avoid seeing the hurt expression he wore.

 

“What do you mean? What can’t you do anymore?” Harry kneeled on the floor in front of me.

 

“Us.” Was the only thing I could think of to answer.

 

“So you’re breaking up with me?” Harry sobbed.

 

“Technically no, because you broke up with me six days ago.” I said with no emotion.

 

“Look, I’m sorry, but-“

 

“It’s what’s best Harry. We can still be friends.” I met his eyes finally.

 

My tears had stopped and I felt a weight being lifted from my shoulders. I smiled a little realizing that I felt better than ever. Maybe things would be okay again. Maybe I could get better.

 

“Louis, please.”

 

His voice broke my fragile heart into a million pieces. The sad, low whining was a tone I had never heard him use. He looked almost as broken as I felt.

 

“I’m sorry Harry, I really am.”

 

“I’m sorry too.”

 

I stood up slowly and glanced back at Harry. He had his head in his hands and I could see his shoulders shaking with sobs. I felt pity for the poor boy, he looked exactly like I did just three days ago.

 

“Harry, stand up.” He looked up with teary eyes, but stood up anyways.

 

I threw my arms around him and closed the space between us, resting my head on his shoulder. He quickly put his arms around my waist and pulled me even closer. He was hugging me so tight I couldn’t breathe, and that just made me feel even guiltier for doing this to him.

 

“I want you to stay here, so I can keep an eye on you. I don’t want you to try anything again.” Harry said into my ear.

 

“Fine, I have nowhere to go anyways, but I’ll be taking the other bedroom.”

 

“No, take this one. You like the window seat.” He sniffled.

 

My heart warmed at what he said. I felt extremely bad for doing this to him, but I needed to do it. It would save us both a lot of pain.

 

“Can I at least have one last kiss?” Harry whispered into my ear.

 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea Haz.” I pulled away from the hug and shook my head sadly.

 

His face brightened when I said Haz, but it fell again when he realized what I said. I could have sworn someone punched me in the stomach right then, because it sure felt like it.

 

“Oh, okay.” Harry stepped back and sat on the bed.

 

Harry’s voice was distant and broken, and I could practically feel the guilt eating me alive. I forced a smile at him and turned to leave from the room. As I was walking away I heard his shaken sob and my legs carried me back into the room much to my brain’s dismay.

 

I walked straight to where he was lying on the bed and pushed him onto his back. I climbed on top of him and slammed my lips to his. He made a low whining noise and moved his lips roughly against mine. I could taste the saltiness of his tears, or maybe they were mine. I would sure miss this. I tangled my hands into his curls and tugged gently, then he moaned into my mouth and I pulled away as my trousers grew slightly tighter.

 

Harry’s face was hopeful, which made me regret kissing him, because what I was about to say would break him all over again.

 

“I can never deny you what you want Haz. You wanted a last kiss, so you got one.” I stood up and was about to run from the room, but Harry sat up and looked at me with terrified eyes.

 

“Will you ever trust me again?” He called after me.

 

“Maybe one day, then we can start over, but you’re going to make me trust you again, and it’ll be harder this time, because of what you’ve done.”

 

“Will you ever love me again?” He whispered.

 

“Who said I stopped?” I said equally quiet.

 

He smiled softly at me and got off the bed. I found out that he went into the other bedroom and was unpacking his things. I felt a pang in my chest at the thought. I hope this pain doesn’t become a regular thing.

 

***

 

Harry’s POV

 

I can’t believe it. I can’t believe he doesn’t trust me, not that I blame him. I just hope he’ll trust me soon, because I won’t be able to live in the same house with him without running over to kiss his soft, plump lips. I can’t face him every day knowing that he thinks all I do is lie. It took me forever to get him to open up the first time, and now I have to do it again. That’s going to be close to impossible, but I’d do whatever it takes to get him back. We’re made for each other, I just have a feeling. I need to get him back.

 

Larry jumped onto my bed and curled up at the end. I sighed and stroked between his ears. I really hope everything will be okay.

 

I glanced at an old fairy tale book in the corner that the old owners must have left. I picked it up and placed it on the dresser carefully.

 

They say that every story has a happy ending, but I think that’s all a bunch of lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now it's time for the second book "Trust"


	27. A/N

I have decided to do character asks for all my stories and at the end of it I will post them all as a chapter!

All you have to do is go to this link https://twitter.com/loving1dwp and say the title of the story and then ask your question. It can be for me or any of the characters!

Have fun! xx


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